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Nothing says "I wish I was a secret agent" like a pair of dark aviators.

Today's Featured Video
I'm Back!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
For the moment, believe it or not, I have returned. The one, the only, the MoDS.
Music to Wear Aviators To...
If a pair of mirrored aviators could play music, it would sound something like this...
Mr. T, as He Relates to the History of Our Great Nation
Sunday. 1.14.07 10:30 pm
The other day, I presented my "United States Since 1940" history course with an episode from a landmark television show of the early 1980s... The A-Team (short clip available at the bottom of this entry). For those of you who have never experienced the audiovisual bliss that is an episode of this spectacular series, it was basically an 80s version of 24, with the one minor difference:

The A-Team: Killed a total of 7 people over the course of its 5 seasons. It pionered a style of 1980s non-violent television, where all bad guys were knocked unconcious or otherwise subdued in a harmless, honorable manner.

24: As of last season, main character Jack Bauer has killed a total of 113 people (at least), using such classic moves as:
-Using only his legs to snap the neck of an enemy
-Punching an enemy in the heart
-Severing the head of an enemy with a hacksaw

But I digress. Based on a shortened version of the episode "Bad Time on the Border", the class was actually able to sustain a lively academic discussion for the remaining 15 minutes of class. Did you know that The A-Team was actually an expression of contemporary American ideals of the early 1980s as influenced by the ascendancy of Ronald Reagan during the waning years of the Age of Limits? Neither did I. Actually, to be honest I don't really know what that means... but apparently its true.

Anyway, to conclude, I leave you with another featured video at the bottom of this entry, documenting how post-A-Team Mr. T plans to continue his historical role in American culture.

Thank you, that is all.

The A-Team

Don't worry America, your lives rest safely in the capable hands of the A-Team.

Mr. T's Latest Work

No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to come up with an amusing comment for this one... Honestly, its like Mr. T has done all of my work for me.

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MS Paint is Sexist
Saturday. 1.13.07 9:24 pm
DISCLAIMER: Just to clarify, the following blog is intended to make fun of the YouTube video below. I do not actually believe that women are inferior to men, or that MS Paint is a driving force for social change (the two positions that I take in this post).

Many of us here at nuTang are familiar with MS Paint as a simple computer program useful for such things as drawing island pixelpeople, and doodling while bored. We have used it as an artistic workhorse, intended only for the creation of doodled trivialities. And, in doing so, we have blinded ourselves to its true potential.

Do not make the mistake of approaching MS Paint as you would any other free Windows accessory. It's shortcut may be placed adjacent to those for solitaire and minesweeper, but those games are nothing compared to the raw power of MS Paint. It is, in fact, an engine of social discourse.

But how can such a small selection of drawing tools possibly be used to accurately express the underlying principals of our sophisticated society, you ask? Indeed, MS Paint is not a tool for the weak. However, in the hands of a true expert, a single mouse-stroke with the pencil tool can be as informative as 1,000 PhD thesis-papers.

Don't believe me? Very well then, I shall show you. At the bottom of this blog entry, you will find a YouTube video demonstrating the true power of MS Paint in action. Over the course of this short film, a leading expert mathematically proves the underlying theory of sexism with spectacular diagrams, brilliantly communicated through MS Paint. The evidence presented in this video is, quite simply, indisputable.

That's right, within a span of minutes, this MS-Paint specialist was able to overturn years of respected scientific research to finally prove once and for all that men are superior to women. Ladies and gentlemen (more importantly, gentlemen), what you have seen today is the beginning of a new era in world conflict-resolution. An era in which tough social issues can be resolved without the need for inconvenient debate and rationality. Over the coming decades, we can expect MS-Paint experts such as the one portrayed in this video to tell us the answers to such frustrating questions as "Is gay marriage morally acceptable?" "Should we vote democrat or republican?" "Which religion should I follow?" and "Why did we invade Iraq?"

That's right gentlemen. The messiah has come, and it is MS Paint.

Thank you, that is all.

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The First Post
Friday. 1.12.07 8:48 pm
Hello world.

I'm ManOfDarkSunglasses, and this is my first blog entry.

Over the next few weeks, and hopefully beyond, I will be posting here with amusing rants and stories. My periodic addresses to the public will generally be short and sweet. I don't really know what they will be about yet, but I know that I want to write them. Rest assured, some day history textbooks will look back upon this first post as the prelude to a new era of open communication. Either that, or it will be available for all of the world to see as a forgotten page in the dark, murky depths of Google's cache.

For the moment, however, I would like to apologize in advance for the following bad jokes which I am inevitably going to make over the course of my blogging career. Please disregard:

a) Jokes involving airline peanuts.
b) Jokes that don't make sense.
c) Jokes stolen from Seinfeld or other TV shows.
d) Overuse of sarcasm.
e) Quotes from 1980s songs, especially "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night"

Thank you, that is all.

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