Books I have completed reading since January 2018:
1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
Friends and Enemies
Akatsuki: Nightmares & Dreamscapes
-beats in my head-
Chika-Chin's Anime Mania!
empty white space
In My World
My Blah blah Bulogu
My Little World
Sdovelly~ c'est la vie
Serene's Silent Secrets
Shuffle and Repear
Tolanic's Travel Blog
Saturday. 6.30.12 10:36 am
i know i have been running away from making difficult decisions. i tried to go through the things that i need to decide.
i actually have decided to study masters locally but my fortune says i have to get it abroad. this years is the year for me to get out of the country. a tarot card reader also said i must get it abroad. if not, i will be dreadfully stress.
i really want to make decisions not based on the tarot cards results, but it is my higher self telling me things that i have blinded myself to.
i think i know why i will be strssed to the max should i persist locally. i first have to deal with my sister whom we have not spoken to each other for coming 7 years. and i will be extremely stress when my dad comes back for good. and not forgetting how my mother has and still driving me to nuts.
so much stress, so much unhappiness, so much sadness.
i can feel the anguish inside me. i can feel the stress building inside me and i dont know how to overcome my current life plateau.
never ending frustration is eating me inside out. if only i could talk to someone who has been in my shoes and has overcome it for i would like to seek advise.
even if i dont study abroad, i would still need to stay outside of my family to be sane.
as i am typing this, i could hear weeping sound and frustration coming from inside me.
i dont think i have been smiling or laughing as much as i did before. nor have i been spending time with myself.
i need to remind myself that the storm will pass. how did i stay sane for all these years?
Friday. 6.29.12 1:22 am
I don't wish to be evil however looking at my colleagues. I just wanna be evil for a day.
There was a fire drill recently and many of us were informed via word of mouth. Therefore, the drill came as no surprise.
When the alarm rang, many colleagues took the liberty to ponder if they should walk out now or simply waiting for their friends to walk together.
I was informed by a colleague in the morning. As much as I hated it due to the workload I had for the day, I was the first one from my floor to walk out of the building.
At first, we could not discern the alarm sound as there is construction in front of my office. It took us a while to hear it was alarm.
I was the first one to note to everyone in the office, and you know what? All of them looked at me blankly. One even replied "So?"
Without further ado, I grabbed my two handphone sets, umbrella and sunglasses before walking out in 3 minutes.
My colleagues were still busy doing their work. The newcomer said the darndest thing "Oh... alarm rang, what should I do?"
I laughed and just walked out.
I had watched a video before where a two-storey building was burnt to the ground in 3 minutes. And everyone took more than 5 minutes to walk out.
Everyone is gonna be baked. I don't think that suits god's appetite.
The best thing I discovered was my superior didn't even participate in the fire drill. He was in his room all along.
Wednesday. 6.27.12 9:54 am
True love is the most powerful magick. It creates happiness.
That is what snow white's stepmum said.
love love echos
Saturday. 6.23.12 9:09 pm
recently, a friend of mine shared some of his thoughts on love subject on fb very much after his breakup. i wanted to reply to his thread but knowing many friends have not been in my shoe nor agreeing to my point of view, i decided to send him a private message.
after much in discussion, we agree that the most painful part in love is not having love but not being able to be with the person that you love.
i wonder if its a curse to have found such love.
In your eyes
Monday, June 18, 2012
Eh ... I have totally forgotten about this poem I wrote 6 years ago.
Saw you once
I fell in love with you
Saw you twice
My heart is yours forever
Saw you thrice
I will make your heart mine too
I might just edit some lines.
Monday. 6.18.12 1:57 am
I recently decided to take up some spiritual courses. I have always wanted to explore this area but never had the chance due to lack of opportunities and resources. I was very surprised to find out that there are a few spiritual shops here, and they are here as long as I have returned from New Zealand! I guess it's not fated yet for me to explore this area.
I took up a meditation course to connect with my guardian angel and spirit guide. I know you are thinking that both terms share the same definition. It's similar but the only thing that differentiates them is guardian angel is a figure that has never walk on earth before, while spirit guide had.
There were only 7 of us plus the conductor. She said some meditation words and we were visualising based on the proses. I was having some hard time in focusing because there was a guy beside me mumbling to himself throughout the session. Not only in that, he was fidgeting. I believe he was talking to someone invisible.
Nevertheless, I tried hard to continue piecing up my broken images. When the prose mentioned it's the time to communicate with the guardian angel. I could not see anyone anywhere. Also thanks to the guy sitting beside me. I was worried that my meditation is a failure. I saw an image of me lying on a man's chest. He was in some white medieval robe with light brown hems. Although it was me who was lying, the girl doesn't share the same appearance feature as me. Her is more angelic and she has light brown hair. I tried to bring up my focus to the face, but I could not. I thought it's because I was distracted.
I heard two archangels name though, but it is not the guardian angel who was hugging me.
We had a sharing session, and it was interesting to hear some of them getting the names of their guardian. I was quite disappointed.
We moved on to connecting the spirit guide. I again had difficulty in meditating, but I managed to visualise myself on a beach sitting on a trunk watching the sunset. I sat there for a long while, and saw no spirit guide. I visualise another trunk beside me and invited the spirit guide to sit, but nothing shows up. And then later, I saw a white kitten with orange spots came running to me. I was patting it the next minute.
As the conductor was asking us to visualise the sun setting, I saw an image of a man sitting beside me. Because I wanted to see his face, I rewind-ed my visualisation to before the sun setting, and I could only see a hand patting the kitten on his lap. I could not determine the gender from the hand...
I asked for the name and only silence ensued. Sigh. I thought it happened because I was distracted.
After the workshop, I decided to share my image findings with the conductor. The conductor told me there was a man with white hair sitting beside me. I was surprised, so I told her I could only see a white robe. And she said he was wearing a white robe! Dum Dum Dum ... I suddenly feel goosebumps all over my body.
After hearing my sharing, the conductor said the guardian angel and spirit guide would like me to know them better before revealing themselves.
Interesting ... The most interesting thing is I found a cat oracle cards!!!
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