A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Gym time today: 1.5 hours.
Total this week: 7.5 hours.
So I originally planned to do two classes, CSI and Body Blast, this morning, but when I woke up I was fairly sore from yesterday (Bootcamp is srs bsns!), so I figured I'd just do Pilates this morning instead. Welp, I went into the gym and Pilates was full, so I ran a mile and a half (8:20 minute mile pace again) and walked half a mile, then did Body Blast. The instructor who teaches the intense Body Blast class was there this morning, so... that was... tiring. I'm not sure it was a good idea to do an intense class last night and an intense one this morning.
Regardless, I get a long break between this morning's class and tomorrow evening's classes, so hopefully that's enough time for my body to recover.
Other than that, I babysat again today. No therapy, because my therapist had to cancel for emergency reasons. We rescheduled for Friday. Also have my call with my client coming up tonight...
I just feel kind of off today. Don't remember my dreams last night, but I woke up feeling sad, and the feeling hasn't really passed.
Late entry today!
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Gym time today: 1.5 hours.
Total this week: 6 hours.
I had a very long day! I was supposed to babysit this morning at 9, and my alarm didn't go off, so I woke up at 8:54..............
Got dressed as fast as I could and drove over to the house where I was babysitting, apologized profusely, spent the next six hours entertaining a baby.
Also ate a granola bar and a banana as my makeshift breakfast there. And bought a couple salmon musubis from a grocery store when I took the baby out for a walk. Oh, and also a mini melon pan. But that was about it.
Finished at 3:30 pm, then quickly drove over to visit a hospice patient. Patient was sleeping. Phew. Stayed around, called the patient's name, patient didn't wake up.
Went home. Ate some sort of trail mix bar. Drove to the gym.
BOOTCAMP. I guess I didn't eat enough again, because I just didn't have the energy to do a lot of the exercises consistently for the whole time. :\ I felt really tired, and I felt bad that I didn't do more during the class, so I stayed an extra half hour and went on the Stairmaster for awhile, then ran a mile and walked one. Only an 8:20 minute mile pace today because of low energy.
Got home. Dad got dinner for me from Whole Foods. Yayyy, not having to make anything for myself. Ate dinner, went to Sean's house. Sat and talked with him while he browsed Tumblr and showed me stuff. He also played Diablo III briefly, and man, he is ridiculously overpowered in that game. He wiped out a boss in one hit. It was RIDICULOUS. So yeah, hanging out with him was cool. He's going back to school soon, so I probably won't be seeing him for quite awhile, but hopefully he keeps in touch.
It's 11:26 pm now. Just barely got my daily entry in.
Tomorrow's going to be another longish day... Gym in the morning (hopefully), then babysitting, therapy, then my call with my client. Not as long as today, at least. I really hope I have more energy for the gym tomorrow...
Monday, January 18, 2016
Lazy again today :( [2P]
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Skipped a day
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Gym time today: 1.5 hours.
Total this week: 11 hours.
Too busy yesterday to go to the gym. :( I stayed up well past 3 AM finishing my application essay for grad school, then went to bed... and right around when I fell asleep, some dude messaged me eighteen times in ten minutes on OKC. It woke me up and I was like "wtf, who is messaging me at 3:43 AM." Silenced my tablet after the first ten messages or so and went back to sleep, then looked at them in the morning. Eighteen messages. Why. Whyyyyyy. -__-
Umm... had babywork at 8:45 AM, so I didn't get to sleep much, but I left early (around 11 AM) to go home and sleep for a little before my crisis line shift... And School Alex picked me up from my shift to go hang out with my friends. We ended up hanging out until past midnight... So yeah... long day yesterday...
Today was less busy. I didn't make it to my regular gym classes this morning because I had writing group, but that was okay I guess. I didn't have a piece for writing group because I was so focused on just writing my application essay the past few days, but I wrote something for our in-meeting exercise, and it was okay.
Came home... ate food... played some dumb match-three game for an unreasonable amount of time... napped for a little bit... Then went to the gym.
Not having slept much in the past couple days, I felt kind of tired and out of it, but I ran two miles and walked one, then went on the Stairmaster for about half an hour. Used some of the weight machines while I was cooling down from that, then walked another mile. According to the machines I burned ~700 calories, but assuming they were at least 20% off, it was probably closer to 560 (or lower?). I guess that's not too bad for an hour and a half though, I dunno.
I want to see if I can run 3.5 miles again but I've been far too tired the past few days to manage it. :(
At the crisis line, there are some callers who have been calling for years. Some of them are friendly and appreciative, but others are very abrasive and angry. The ones in the latter category call and talk about the same things over and over again. They never seem to reach any resolution, and it's not clear if they even feel better by the end of the call, after all their ranting. My supervisor says that they must be getting something out of calling, because otherwise it wouldn't make sense for them to keep doing it. I don't know what they're getting from ranting at strangers on the phone so much, but I think she is probably right. I don't know what goes on in these people's lives after they hang up the phone, but maybe they do feel a bit better once they've let off some steam. Perhaps they are able to have more normal social interactions once they get out their aggression with the crisis line. I don't think that it's likely that they act the way they do on the line 100% of the time in their daily lives. The line, after all, is for crises. Thinking about this helps me be more patient with callers.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Gym time today: 1 hour.
Total this week: 9.5 hours.
No records beat today. Ran two miles at 7.2 mph, went to use the weight machines/cool off, came back and ran one more mile, then walked one.
I am writing my application essay and talking about confronting the reality that I will die one day. Discussing how this makes me value the time I have before that happens.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Gym time today: 1 hour.
Total this week: 8.5 hours.
So I ran 3.5 miles continuously today. That's the longest distance I've ever run, and it's more than twice than the 1.5 miles I was doing before. I was running at an 8:20 minute mile speed (7.2mph I think), which was pretty comfortable. I think I could have run longer, but I made the mistake of not taking off my jacket before starting, and I was getting pretty warm by the end of the 3.5 miles, so I slowed down to take off my jacket and walked the last half mile to round it out to 4 miles. The treadmill said I burned 360 calories, but as I've said before, I am pretty sure that's a lie.
After that, I hopped on the Stairmaster for 20 minutes to finish up my hour at the gym. It said I burned almost 240 calories, but eh. I didn't use the rails (is that what they're called?) on either machine, and I entered my age/weight, which should have helped make the calorie count more accurate, but I'm sure they're still off by some amount. Just wish I knew how much. I looked at a couple different articles, and it seems like machines can overestimate anywhere between 12-42%, so that's... really unhelpful. Bluh.
I've been kind of idly considering cutting someone out of my life. I don't know if it would help anything, and maybe it wouldn't make a practical difference if I did or didn't do it. Lately it's been feeling like this person contributes nothing of value to my life, though. Anyway, I don't feel like they even care about me enough to notice whether or not I'm there, so it probably doesn't matter what I do. I should make more room in my life for people who actually value me.
Not as short as I thought this would be [DP]
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
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