recently, a friend of mine shared some of his thoughts on love subject on fb very much after his breakup. i wanted to reply to his thread but knowing many friends have not been in my shoe nor agreeing to my point of view, i decided to send him a private message.

after much in discussion, we agree that the most painful part in love is not having love but not being able to be with the person that you love.

i wonder if its a curse to have found such love.

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Eh ... I have totally forgotten about this poem I wrote 6 years ago.

Saw you once
I fell in love with you

Saw you twice
My heart is yours forever

Saw you thrice
I will make your heart mine too

I might just edit some lines.

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I recently decided to take up some spiritual courses. I have always wanted to explore this area but never had the chance due to lack of opportunities and resources. I was very surprised to find out that there are a few spiritual shops here, and they are here as long as I have returned from New Zealand! I guess it's not fated yet for me to explore this area.

I took up a meditation course to connect with my guardian angel and spirit guide. I know you are thinking that both terms share the same definition. It's similar but the only thing that differentiates them is guardian angel is a figure that has never walk on earth before, while spirit guide had.

There were only 7 of us plus the conductor. She said some meditation words and we were visualising based on the proses. I was having some hard time in focusing because there was a guy beside me mumbling to himself throughout the session. Not only in that, he was fidgeting. I believe he was talking to someone invisible.

Nevertheless, I tried hard to continue piecing up my broken images. When the prose mentioned it's the time to communicate with the guardian angel. I could not see anyone anywhere. Also thanks to the guy sitting beside me. I was worried that my meditation is a failure. I saw an image of me lying on a man's chest. He was in some white medieval robe with light brown hems. Although it was me who was lying, the girl doesn't share the same appearance feature as me. Her is more angelic and she has light brown hair. I tried to bring up my focus to the face, but I could not. I thought it's because I was distracted.

I heard two archangels name though, but it is not the guardian angel who was hugging me.

We had a sharing session, and it was interesting to hear some of them getting the names of their guardian. I was quite disappointed.

We moved on to connecting the spirit guide. I again had difficulty in meditating, but I managed to visualise myself on a beach sitting on a trunk watching the sunset. I sat there for a long while, and saw no spirit guide. I visualise another trunk beside me and invited the spirit guide to sit, but nothing shows up. And then later, I saw a white kitten with orange spots came running to me. I was patting it the next minute.

As the conductor was asking us to visualise the sun setting, I saw an image of a man sitting beside me. Because I wanted to see his face, I rewind-ed my visualisation to before the sun setting, and I could only see a hand patting the kitten on his lap. I could not determine the gender from the hand...

I asked for the name and only silence ensued. Sigh. I thought it happened because I was distracted.

After the workshop, I decided to share my image findings with the conductor. The conductor told me there was a man with white hair sitting beside me. I was surprised, so I told her I could only see a white robe. And she said he was wearing a white robe! Dum Dum Dum ... I suddenly feel goosebumps all over my body.

After hearing my sharing, the conductor said the guardian angel and spirit guide would like me to know them better before revealing themselves.

Interesting ... The most interesting thing is I found a cat oracle cards!!!

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I finally visited an eye specialist after procrastinated for a month due to my busy schedule.

My eyelids especially the left are droopy. The GP didn't really notice it, but I'm thankful for a friend mentioning it to me during dinner, because I just thought I didn't have enough of sleep. It didn't also occur to me that my headaches could be related to my droopy eyes.

I have been having headaches from mild to moderate pounding for the past 3 months. But I have been feeling not well in the head area since early this year. I simply thought it was due to the weather and my hectic lifestyle where I usually sleep late.

The specialist will refer me to a neurologist for the twitches on my face and the headaches because it's a nerve problem. I had done blood test and I hope everything in the result is negative.

I cannot stop thinking about the headaches that I'm having. I have been hearing that headaches is an early sign of certain illness such as tumour. I'm clearly frightening myself.

Age is no longer the factor that he or she may not get certain illness. In this century, anyone of any age can just get any illnesses.

Sigh.

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AHH....

Recently I was told by a newly made friend that spirits are attracted to people with third eye because the eye is like a beacon aka light to them. And that reminds me of the fish in the ocean with the mini lightbulb as a trap for its prey.


I never knew this, and its something I have to live with it. But she told me to get some sage to protect myself from the spirits.

Ah useful information. Luckily it's not all about frightening renaye.

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