I heard my sister sobbing quietly during her prayers.

And I wanted to say out loud that who had said that crying is only for weak and stupid people?

Crying is a means to let go whatever is caught in our chest. It is never meant a weak sign. Crying happens when there are no words to describe the pain.

I remember crying everyday during my hard time a few years back, not mentioning it was filled with unsavoury toppings: family criticism and emotional abuse.

At least my sister was never chastised or referred to names that erode anyone's self-esteem by mother. She never undergone what I gone through. The emotional abuse I went through was the worst time of my life. Mother said that she regretted for sending me abroad over and over for nine months without thinking of my emotional welfare at that time. I was already retrenched, and luckily a friend introduced me to a temporary job even before I was laid. I was grateful, but not my mum. With financial crisis looming over me, my mum not supported me but torture me emotionally just because she has no where to vent her anger causedby father.

I do not think my mum knew that I heard her unsaid sentence. There was one time we were in a heated argument due to my job, and as usual calling me names and elaborating how useless I were for drying up the family's savings. In short, it was a wasted investment on me, that was what I feel as sister as usual is the apple of my parents. But mother bit her tongue in mid sentence "I regret" and my clairaudience gift picked up the unsaid: giving birth to you. She regretted in giving birth to me.

Right. Looking at my sister's current unemployment situation, hers is not worse than mine. Though mum disapproved of her being in the sales line, mum spared her those names calling that drove me further into depression.

If sister was not mean to me, I would have offered words of encouragement and support to her.

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renaye just finished her tenth book for the year. It's called Switched by Amanda Hocking.

The reviews were good saying this book is a real page-turner. However, to me, the real queen of page-turner will still reign by Lisa Jane Smith. I just like how fluidity LJS stories are. My definition for page-turner is transporting the reader to the world created by writer through words, and the reader cannot stop reading...

Switched is no doubt a page-turner but I turned the page so fast because I want to know what is happening next without absorbing the words totally.

This is the stark contrast.

Nevertheless, I will still continue reading the Tyrelle trilogy though I'm not a fan. I have 7 more books to beat my highest record in 2010.

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Mum and I spring cleaned the house today. I had mopped the floor countless of times today till my sinews are sore.

We were supposed to cook pasta but we ended up cooking instant noodles, and sister brought back lychee pudding which I have incredibly had not eaten for 7 years! The best dessert I ever had for tonight...

I spring cleaned the house as if I am celebrating a new year. Nice...

By the way, I have been having headaches since Thursday and I got no idea why it is back along with the twitches. I don't like the frequency of my head ache. I'm damn worried ... like my student said "what if it's an infection?"

Yea... an infection that is feeding on my brain... I'm so damn freaking out. I forgot to report to my specialist that I might have experienced a mild seizure because I lost my speech for a few seconds a few weeks ago and I experienced thrice.

Ugh. Sleep more ...

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Have you ever missed someone so terribly that you feel your heart's battery is running out of watt?

I don't know why I am missing someone that my heart has to take a break from missing before it breaks down...

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There will be a meteor shower in the Philippines tonight at 12am to 6 am if I am not mistaken.

It reminds me a lot of my time on the ship back to Japan from the Philippines. I was shivering in the cold while looking up at the sky. I caught three shooting stars.

I made a wish.

I even made a haiku to commemorate that date.

I remember the details clearly, and I was not alone. If only that moment never ended.

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I am very gay today because I finally had a normal reading.

Oh by the way, just to let you all know that I have recently learnt how to read tarot cards, and I have been asking a lot of friends to be my guinea pig. :-)

I only required them to give me feedback and be proactive at times during the reading. Because there are times the readings do not make sense without the inpit of the querent.

Recently I have been doing readings on relationship particularly when do I get married. And the readings came out not addressing the concern at all. After having similar readings before, I finally knew the reason and my teacher confirmed my concern. Oh dear. My friend will be able to answer their own question once they have make up their mind on the girl or the guy he or she wants to be with...

So today's reading for my friend did not make sense at all. There were some excellent cards, but I could not piece the jigsaw. Luckily he was not afraid to share the truth with me, and I was able to give him an excellent reading that is related to his query.

The truth he has been in love with a girl for 9 years. I admire him for being able to love someone for so long and I thought the girl was lucky to have such love, but the girl repeatedly turned him down.

Speaking of happy ending from the previous post, I hope I can meet a guy who will love me unconditionally. I may not believe in love, it does not mean I do not believe in happy ending. I guess I am now waiting for someone to sweep me off. :-)

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