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two way monologue
Wednesday. 3.16.11 3:12 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Upside down.
Monday. 3.14.11 9:28 am
There was a day when I was taking trigonometry that the instructor assigned groups for us to work in. The problem was finding the area of a pentagon or something similar with multiple sides. We were given all the necessary variables.

I've never enjoyed group work, but my group seemed like they were okay with the basic calculations, so I wasn't too nervous. Everything was going smoothly, for the first five minutes. Once we got to manipulating equations to work the way we needed, everything went awry. I knew the way to work the problem out, but I guess the teacher in me took over and insisted that people need to learn from mistakes, rather than learn from being told.

It didn't take long for that mindset to wear off. Despite my insistence that the problem was simple and that the equations were straightforward, my group mates put numbers where they didn't belong just to see if they might by luck reach the correct answer.

Long story short, I ended up getting frustrated. I said, "You're making this way more complicated than it is. Just work the problem."




But, this was never an entry about trigonometry, anyway.





ps: still working on the new layout.

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/rant
Wednesday. 3.2.11 5:19 pm

Kurt Vonnegut's writing always cheers me up.

I finally got around to some Rand, last week. At times...I felt impatient towards her writing, because she tended to embellish where it wasn't exactly necessary. But then, she wrote the novel quite well. I read the whole of it at about the same rate as I did Les Misérables. And THAT was an excellent, compelling read.

It was The Fountainhead, FYI.

But...Vonnegut has my heart. When he died, a few years ago, I was sincerely upset about it.

Maybe his writing is a bit simple to read, but he's the most straightforward author I've ever read. The use of imagination...you can't underestimate how important it is. They tell aspiring writers to write what they know, but...

You shouldn't JUST write what you know. He does focus on war (he was in my grandpa's company), but he adds his own mind to it. I can hardly tell I'm reading about war, half the time.

And hey, maybe I'm not.


Life has been moving slowly. I think the big problem is that I haven't been joining clubs, sports, et cetera, because I'm not settled into my college. Rather, I'm waiting to be settled into MY college.

Not the one I'm attending.

It's odd, how you can have ownership over different things in different ways.


ANYWAY.

I don't want to get into clubs and end up like some people I know who didn't transfer in time. I know some kids who ended up drinking themselves happy because they loved the people, but couldn't stand the actual school. I'm not into alcohol, but regardless. Misery has never been my thing.

I have an idea where I want to be, but we won't go into that right now. The real point is that the place I want to be still isn't where I am, and that's partially because I was a follower to the point where I listened to my mother and let her discourage me and dump all over what I wanted.

That's another tangent I could go into. Long story short, she pushed me to take the full ride to a college with very little funds supporting my major, just because it was a full ride. Then, when I left (realizing that I was extremely unhappy and not in control of my own life), she got on me about wasting "free money" (she still rubs my nose in that). Free money that I earned. She told me that applying anywhere else would be a waste of money, and pushed me to only apply to the closest schools.

Like an idiot, I listened. Despite the fact that I'm paying for my own schooling and that she has nothing to do with any of this. Despite the fact that I certainly know where I want to be.

So now, I've applied somewhere. Secretly. About three people know to where.

Having to make choices behind my mother's back: not fun.

Having the freedom to apply to the school I want to attend without getting a bunch of nonsense about it: worth it.


Also, I've felt oddly blah, conversationally, lately. I don't know what that is. It's time to gain some more experiences!


SO. HOW ARE YOU?

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the money monster
Friday. 2.18.11 12:18 pm

Maybe it's just me, but when I hear someone say he didn't get to have "his" coffee/tea/cappuccino/latte/mochafrap with soy and is therefore not feeling up to par, I snort and disqualify him from my list of potential suitors.

Immediately.


So. A lot has happened since I last updated, which is pretty normal.

I just don't feel like typing everything up. And anyway, ideas are infinitely more interesting than personal affairs.

OOH. I did order a cover for my Kindle, though. It probably isn't the best, but I'm a college student and my money is my freedom to travel as I wish. Things honestly aren't that important, but I have a Kindle (Kindles are somewhat delicate and my brother has already cracked the screen in his), and I want to take that Kindle with me. If I see Thailand, it sees Thailand.

It's usually too hard to sleep on planes, anyway (I'm saving up for first class, next time I fly. It makes a difference when you're going eighteen hours). Books come in handy.

The only problem is that most (good) covers cost $40-$50.

There have been some complaints on the one I ordered, but it only cost me twenty-five bucks, and it looks as though it's portable and functional enough to fit my basic needs.

So, awesome!

Now I think I'm going to take the long route to the library with my windows down. Anything by Ayn Rand (with maybe two exceptions) costs big time as far as e-books go, but the library is always free (as long as you turn your books in on time, which I think last time I didn't. HELLO FEES, HERE I COME)!

And then I'll go cash this check. It's been staring at me for a good month, now, but sitting on that type of money freaks me out.

Ugh. Scary giant checks.


AND THEN I'M GOING TO GO SWIMMING, AND IT'S GOING TO BE A GLORIOUS SWIM INDEED.


(I ended up talking about personal affairs. C'est la vie, non?)

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