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password protected in case I wake up and don't like this
Tuesday. 5.31.11 1:38 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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no need to be ALARMED teehee
Thursday. 5.26.11 2:23 pm

Oh, you guys don't want to read my last entry. ;D

So I've had this cyst beside my right eye for the past...eight to ten years? It's just a tiny white dot, barely noticeable, not even an issue. Lately, though, ALLLL the ones in my earlobes and the one beside my eye have been acting up, so I've been scratching at the one beside my eye absentmindedly.

The other day, I was plucking my eyebrows in my mom's super-magnified mirror when I noticed that the cyst looked...lopsided.

And so I pinched it.




I'm more upset about this than just about any other change I've gone through, as of late. MY CYST. NO. WHY NOW.

It just feels flat, beside my eye now. :c

Have you guys heard about the thirteen-year cicadas, by the way? There's a decent article on the basics here.

We've been listening to them, out on the plantation where I sometimes work. The first morning, actually, my coworker and I thought it was an alarm going off in the classroom we use for school field trips (if you live around here, you've probably been). Like a really LOUD alarm. One that never stops. EVER.

They're everywhere, though. It's kind of comforting, especially at night. Southern summers are always so noisy, but it's a calming type of noisy. It's one of the few things that still manage to remind me of childhood.


My last blog was a rant because, nowadays, I always have the urge to punch someone in the face. Not as a personal problem, unless you consider people to be my personal problem.

Also, I'm signing up for a sailing class.


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Saturday. 5.21.11 12:37 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Monday. 5.9.11 3:01 pm

Okay, so you know that moment when you're up at 3 a.m., and you want to have a good conversation that will refresh your mind and keep you up for a few hours, but no one talk-to-able is on, so you start reading Psychology Today articles?

Maybe not, okay, but I was at that point, last night.

There was this article on how we coddle kids too much. I read it, and, up until a certain point, I was glad to see that point of view published, because people do tend to stay too connected to their kids.

But, then there was this whole thing about how we tell kids they can do anything (along with grade inflation, hello), AND THEY CAN'T.

This kind of honestly blew my mind.

See, I'd been going through life with this attitude about careers and how, if I work hard enough, I can be anything. I'm seeing, now, that this was kind of crazy. Not because I'm not bright (I don't especially have a solid judgement on that, in reference to statistics, but I would assume that I'm not entirely dull, in any case), but because some things just aren't my forte. Sure, I COULD succeed in subjects I don't naturally do well in, but do I WANT to waste my time in classes that could cause my GPA to plummet and cause me to use HOURS upon hours everyday just trying to keep up?

(Just so you know, this whole subject makes me flinch. I was brought up by a school system that plugged students full of this You Can Reach The Stars stuff, so I'm still having some trouble with my dissonance.)

It doesn't make sense. It really doesn't. And I figure this out after taking a chemistry course and HATING it. Right now, I'm leaning so hard towards behavioral sciences and mathematics, but I'm changing my major to undeclared until I can get a handle on my interests and strengths (probably by reviewing what classes I elect to take). Much less kooky. Much more me, to be completely neutral until I fall in love.

Although...Araam and I were talking, last night, because I sent him an article that related to me, and suddenly I told him that, if I worked in the psychology field, I would work a lot more with parent-child relationships and improve that field.

That's the first time I've ever had a specific plan for ANYTHING, career and education-wise.


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