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there will come a point when life sucks
Saturday. 3.13.10 11:13 pm
and you can lay down and take it or you can get up and fight for yourself and prevail. With him im prevailing. With him things are easier and i can breathe and laugh and love. Then i come home and im suffocated. But when im with him its so much easier to relax and let go and just be happy











life isnt always easy but you always have someone to make it better. and i found mine <3

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the discussion of maturity and love
Monday. 3.1.10 4:50 pm
so how long is it acceptable to tell someone you love them? a year? two weeks? two months?


Can you put a time on an emotion? Its hard to say when you love someone. Is it when you are thinking of them but in a way that you want whats best for them. Is it when you care about their health and their emotional problems. Is it when you would do anything to help them in any way you can? When can you honestly say you love someone?




I would do anything to help him in any problem or situation he has. I would comfort him and be there for him. But i dont honestly think i love him yet. And we havent said the word but im just wondering when is it going to hit me? and when will it be acceptable to say it to him when it does?

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I cant even breath
Monday. 2.22.10 5:16 pm
Its so hard to live and not feel guilty when im around you. And you know you are doing it to me. Its almost as if you are taking joy out of me. I feel guilty for being with someone i care about and who makes me happy when you dont have someone. I cant breath i cant get this weight off of me. Im only 18 I cant handle knowing about everything that goes on. I dont have the emotional capacity to take care of you emotionally and myself and to carry your worries along with my own. And i know that its selfish to say this but you are my mom im not your mom. I cant do this i cant be this and i dont want to. And its making me feel guilty about being with the person who makes me laugh and happy. Because when im with him im leaving you and in your own way you get back at me for it. And it hurts me that i cant talk to him about this and i cant lean on him because ive never been able to lean on anyone emotionally and im terrified of being dropped. I cant live like this. Its either going to make me drive him away or drive you away. And the thing is at this point i would rather step up and start my own life than be stuck here being suffocated by yours.

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So why dont we go somewhere only we know
Friday. 2.19.10 4:09 pm
hey guys and gals :]



so i have a few things to talk about. First the boyfriend thing is going great!! we have been dating for five days tonight (yes he asked me out on valentines day how cheesy :D). But we are doing great. I love being able to talk to him about anything and we really are great friends. But we arent friends like him and the guys he hangs out with but like we are close in our own way. He makes me really happy :] and he is constantly laughing and making me laugh! hes an awesome kisser (just if your wondering) and is super sweet and takes care of me. Oh! and his birthday is coming up but im not sure what to get him. Any suggestions would be very appreciated! And we arent one of those annoying couples who after 3 days are saying "i love you". We had a talk last night and i was like "that is the one thing that would freak me out if you said i love you" and he said "yeah way too soon and way too fast". :] so we are taking things slow and its really cool. We kiss and stuff but nothing more than a peck and we keep it sweet and chill. Its nice to be able to lean on someone a little bit. Its also nice to be taken care of emotionally.

School is going okay my grades are slipping a bit i really need to pull up math ughhhh i bombed a test today and i really need to do some missing work :p.

mmmmmmmmmm i think thats all for now!


<3

oh and if you have suggestions for a birthday present for my bf it would be very very very very much appreciated!!!

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happy Valentines day nutang!!
Sunday. 2.14.10 9:03 am
helllllllo everyone! :]

and to all the people who hate valentines day stop being a grump!

:D

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so the guy i like might be coming over to the house tonight and im a little freaking out. lol Wish me luck!! oh and any helpful tips would be much appreciated!


OVER AND OUT!

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well ello poppet
Friday. 2.12.10 7:23 pm
HI :]


so winter is prettier when you have someone to share it with (fact)

snow still sucks tho :]


lol


SOOOOOOOO im going to learn a new song on the pianooo and i dont know which one... Oh and the guy hehe plays guitar like amazingly well and he played for me on the phone the other night. and he sings it was awesome! we talked for three hours and he is awesome! and not in the girly giggly cutsie way. But in the honest funny awkward and noncheesy way.


WOOT WOOT

RUBY IS OUT!!! peace!!

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