the index card
Location lubbock, TX
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do you ever...
Friday. 1.14.05 11:11 pm
Do you ever want to know how much someone loves you, even if its not like that? I love the way he tells me how much he cares for me. I love the feeling of his words in my ears. That he loves me. I love that he loves me. But, most of all those things, even more than any of those things, I love him.
wrong type of guys
Monday. 1.10.05 9:33 pm
I go for the wrong type of guys.
piece of evidence one-
Taylor B- Um, kinda touchy and cussy and uh... just him
Brennan- Boring and to smart so he had me figured out the first day of camp.
Will- To much of my best friend
Nick- I should have known. He's best friends with Taylor M.
piece of evidence two-
Nick asked out Kendra last night
piece of evidence three-
People were keeping it a big deal and a secret cuz they knew how mad I would be.
piece of evidence four-
I figured it out myself
piece of evidence five-
I didn't let them know I was about to cry.
piece of evidence six-
notamexican12 signed on at 5:44:28 PM.
iluvDRPEPPER101h (5:47:05 PM): hey
iluvDRPEPPER101h (5:54:57 PM): or not
iluvDRPEPPER101h (5:55:00 PM): w/e works 4 u
iluvDRPEPPER101h (5:55:03 PM): cuz im leaving
iluvDRPEPPER101h (5:56:06 PM): bye
iluvDRPEPPER101h (7:59:27 PM): hey
iluvDRPEPPER101h (8:04:13 PM): someones feeling a little antisocial 2day...
iluvDRPEPPER101h (8:25:07 PM): wat happend 2 i can talk 2 u n ull listen cuz i mean i know i can talk 2 u but i dont think ur really listening
iluvDRPEPPER101h (8:39:07 PM): ugh nick why da heck rnt u talking 2 me?
iluvDRPEPPER101h (9:26:19 PM): hey
iluvDRPEPPER101h (9:43:19 PM): o n nick i know u asked out kendra
iluvDRPEPPER101h (9:43:34 PM): everyone was making a big deal and not telling me cuz dey thot i would get mad
iluvDRPEPPER101h (9:43:43 PM): but i figured it out myself
piece of evidence seven-
colormyworldgrey: i have a ?
colormyworldgrey: ok have u ever liked someone sooooo much u couldnt stop thinking about him u always wanted 2 talk 2 him wanted 2 be w/him it was allll him and u couldnt wait 4 da day 2 be over so dat u could wake up da next day and go through da whole thing again?
colormyworldgrey: ok n heres da second part
colormyworldgrey: did he no that and then go n ask out ur best friend?
sexylilSARAH4560: oh my gosh yesssss!!
colormyworldgrey: omg u r da only one dat has happend 2 dat i have asked!!!!!!!!!!1
colormyworldgrey: dat has happened 2 me so many times its unfair
sexylilSARAH4560: i knoe
colormyworldgrey: o well i guess i just go for da rong type of guys
sexylilSARAH4560: yeh i knoe meee tooo.
colormyworldgrey: i guess i go for da guys dat like pretty perfect chicks hu r tall and funny and r afraid 2 have fun cuz hu noes maybe it will mess up there make up
colormyworldgrey: even tho they decided 2 put on makeup right b4 goin 2 da pool
colormyworldgrey: im pissy
sexylilSARAH4560: its ok
colormyworldgrey: but i mean it always happens like that 2 me like ok first it was taylor b right? cuz everyone knew he liked brooke while i liked him
colormyworldgrey: then it was brennan
colormyworldgrey: who asked her out right in front of my face
colormyworldgrey: and just now it was nick hu friggin made out w/me while he liked da chick sitting next to me
colormyworldgrey: i mean wats my problem if i cant find a guy that duznt like my best friends
piece of evidence eight-
Still nothing from Nick
piece of evidence nine-
Bob isn't real.
piece of evidence ten-
I almost cried today cuz Bob isn't real.
Sunday. 1.9.05 10:02 pm
Oh dear. Oh my. Why is it that just when you think you've gotten over someone, something happens, and you just want to not be over them, so you aren't? Or, you realize that you aren't. Gosh. What I wouldn't give to be over this kid.
See, I love him so much. It escaped me the other day. I didn't know I loved him. But then, just somehow it came out of me. I was just talking to this chick about him, and it just came out. "I love him so-- I mean I-- uh-- like(?) him so much..."
This kid, he was everything I wanted. He was, like, perfect. No, no one's perfect. Perfect would be... Well... Bob's perfect.
Bob likes music.
Bob is funny.
Bob is sweet.
Bob is romantic.
Bob is smart.
Bob is athletic.
Bob is a good christian.
Bob is there for you when you need him.
Bob will listen to you.
Bob is your shoulder to cry on.
Bob doesn't care if he's popular or not.
Bob is popular, whether he cares or not.
Bob is perfect.
But, for Bob, you have to be perfect, too.
You've gotta be there when he needs you.
You've gotta listen to him.
You've gotta be his shoulder to cry on.
You cant care if your popular or not.
And you'll be popular, because you're all those things.
If only your popular with Bob.
And you'll be perfect.
Notice cute wasn't in there at all. Because, if he's all those things, wouldn't that make him cute? Because, he's perfect.
I am in love with Bob.
Wednesday. 1.5.05 4:32 pm
Can you get growing pains in your butt? Cuz my butt has been hurting lately. haha. I was jw.
So, I think I like Cody. I think he likes me, too. And Wendy.
And I embaressed the crap outta myself today. I gotta remember not to do that again. Like, ever. Ugh.
i found him
Wednesday. 12.29.04 8:20 pm
And I've known him for quite a while. Well, sense Nov. 15. And the thing is, he really cares about me. Not just like, "Oh, hey, how ya been?" cares about me. "Are you o.k? Did you have a good day? Are you happier now?" cares about me. I mean, I love this guy. He's like perfect. Or close. I only wish he loved me, too.
Thursday. 12.23.04 10:32 pm
We're in love I just have to meet him first. We talk I just have to hear him first. He's my soulmate we just don't no it yet. I love him I just don't no him yet.
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