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Unfortunate timing.
Sunday. 7.13.14 2:30 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Friday. 7.11.14 9:05 am
I made my final car payment today. I'm excited and giddy and it's probably going to take me another month or so before it finally kicks in that I actually own my vehicle. Completely and entirely, no more payments. In writing this, I just realized that I still have to renew my tabs this month .... shit. Guess it'll have to wait until next week when I get my next Sam's check. I mean, there will always be payments on my vehicle for maintenance, but I am the sole owner. My name was always the only one on the contract, but technically the financier owned the vehicle while I was still making payments. I wonder how long it's going to take for me to receive my title.

I went out last night with a friend to celebrate her getting the final yes on the new job. She will be starting next month. I'm super excited for her, but I'm really sad that she's leaving me. Who's going to keep me under control now? I'm actually hoping to follow her to the same place, but that could take time, if I'm even a candidate. I really hope I am. It would be a great job for me to have. Hell, even one of my friends who happens to be overly blunt about certain things said that I would do a lot better at that job. Not that I'm a shit security officer, but she seems me excelling in a customer service setting.

Today is *hopefully* going to be a productive day. I have already taken a shower and my laundry is in. Now I just have to motivate myself to clean my bathroom, take out my trash, do the dishes and straighten up the random papers strewn around my room. On top of that I have to motivate myself to leave the house, go put gas in my car, stop at the bank, buy a new shower curtain {something I've been needing to do for a couple weeks} and I should get something to eat while I'm out. Ugh. As much as I like payday, it's usually a day when I can't just laze about.

I'm also going out tonight to get sushi with a friend. Which means I have a deadline. I guess this will either fully motivate me to get everything accomplished or I'll just end up putting it off another week or two. The gas is the only absolute must that needs to be done. Let's see how much can be accomplished.

It's been just over a month since my last post and I've been meaning to write something new, but the motivation to do so just hasn't been there. I've also been working a shit ton of hours because my current full time job is fucked and the upper management is about as incompetent as you can get. Which is another reason why I'm trying so hard to leave. We all are. It's beyond words at this point.

Anywho, I'm starting to get distracted by what I actually need to do today so I'm gonna attempt to at least get a couple things done.

Until next time. . .

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My trip and spring cleaning
Friday. 6.6.14 1:49 pm
*Disclaimer: this will be a long one. You've been warned.*

Thursday May 22nd: the day I left here and arrived there, was definitely a great start for the trip. I'm not sure about everyone else here, but when I'm on an airplane, I go in to super relaxed mode. It's like I slow my system way down, focus on the music I'm listening to and zone out staring out the window. My sister and Vance kept me occupied during a majority of the 4 1/2 hour flight. During the chunk time that neither of them was responding, I read some of my book. There was very little turbulence and the small amount there was, happened somewhere over Texas, all while avoiding storms.

When I arrived, the only thing I focused on was getting out the terminal and to the arrivals pick up area so that I could meet up with Vance and get my official time with him started. Only upon leaving San Antonio did I realize just how tiny that airport is. Especially compared to SeaTac or McCarran, two airports I'm used to flying in/out of. The drive home was quick and I acclimated to his place rather quickly.

The first night was amazing. It couldn't have gone any better. His dog was excited to have a new person to play/cuddle with/lick. Within a few days I had been eagerly and wholly accepted by the dog. Even the cat took to me quickly, which is apparently something that doesn't happen often. His dad and his dad's girlfriend welcomed me with open arms and ensured that I felt as comfortable as possible. It was probably the warmest welcome I've felt in a long time.

Friday May 23rd: My first full day there was spent acclimating some more, sleeping in, breakfast in bed, hanging out until we were ready to take on the day. We drove around the city, stopped at a few different stores. I bought a couple 3D jigsaw puzzles that I planned on leaving at the house. We stopped at this really awesome Mexican place not far from his place. The food there was awesome. Even without my ability to eat BBQ sauce.

Saturday May 24th: Another day spent just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. We went to a couple more stores in search of more puzzles, but with not much success. We also got some really awesome pizza {Z Pizza, which is the place I order from here in Seattle} and his family loved it. That night we went to a bar and watched his cousin's band play. The music was loud and really good considering it was a bunch of high school students. It was a nice end to the day.

Sunday May 25th: This was probably the best day of the whole trip. It certain was the most active of the entire 10 days. This was our Six Flags Fiesta Texas day. We got up in the morning and headed out to the park right around the time that it opened. By the time we arrived, it had been open for about 20 minutes. Once we were in the park, we got a map and figured out a game plan.

The only rides we went on were the roller coasters and that's all we needed. We made sure to ride each one once, then picked our top 3 and rode them again, but in the front row. The best out of all of them was the Iron Rattler. None of the other rides could compare. One rip off that we noticed was that they served the same food throughout the entire park. Now, this may not seem like a rip off up front, but when you walk halfway across the park to eat food at Johnny Rockets, then later realize Bubba's and Chuck's happen to have exactly the same menu with exactly the same prices, we were a bit peeved. That was the only unlikable thing about the entire day.

We ended the night with the fireworks and laser show. There was lightning in the distance and I had a hard time paying attention to the laser show due to the distraction of the lightning. I pretty much kept my neck twisted halfway home so that I could keep watching the show in the sky. When we got home, we went out on the back patio to continue watching the lightning. Eventually it moved on and we got tired enough to crash out for the night.

Monday May 26th: Memorial Day. This was the only free day that we had the opportunity to drive up to Austin, but since it was a holiday, a lot of things were closed. Instead, we took this day to hang out inside, listen to the rain and thunder outside, cuddle up and watch some movies. We went to the store and bought supplies for me to cook dinner the next night and just enjoyed each other's company.

Tuesday May 27th: We started out the day sleeping in; I think this occurred every day I was there. Once we got up and showered, we went to Longhorn Steakhouse for lunch. It was pretty darn tasty. I ate so much good food while I was there. He had to work that afternoon so I took a nap while he was doing that. I also took the time to complete another jigsaw puzzle that I had bought. Then when he got off work, he helped me cook dinner and we enjoyed it as a family unit before calling it a night.

Wednesday May 28th: He had to get up early to work the morning shift so I slept in a couple hours longer. When I got up, it was only a couple hours before he was off work, so I scoured the interwebs and read some more of my book. Once he got off work, there was some drama happening with his dad's girlfriend's dentist office so we went to deal with that. It was a bit of a shitty experience, but we were able to get through it. I do believe that was the day his dad fell in love with the idea of me being a part of the family because I was there through it all. If I'm going to invest in this relationship for the long term, I'm in it all the way; the good, bad and the ugly.

After the whole ordeal occurred, we drove up to his grandmother's place to hang out for a while then drove to the other one to star-gaze. It was a really nice, relaxing evening.

Thursday May 29th: This was the day of the Riverwalk. His cousin was able to get us a really nice deal at the hotel she worked at and surprised us with chocolate covered strawberries and iced champagne in the room, along with a card welcoming us and wishing us a good time. It was super awesome of her to do that for us. We walked around and had a couple drinks during happy hour at a bar. Then we stopped for ice cream, found the place we were gonna eat dinner at and made a reservation before continuing our journey. We walked over to where the Alamo was located and just kind of admired from a distance before going back to the Riverwalk.

About an hour before our dinner reservation, we headed back to the hotel and got all dressed up nice for it. The food was soooooo good! I still can't believe how delicious the food was. We'll definitely be going back to that place the next time I'm in San Antonio. Even if we don't actually stay on the Riverwalk, the food is worth the trip downtown. After dinner we headed back to the hotel, stuffed, and just relaxed in the room. We took a late night bath, which was more challenging than we anticipated cuz the tub was really small. We eventually gave up and went back to watching useless television before passing out for the night.

Friday May 30th: After sleeping in, showering and packing up our overnight bag, we headed back to the house. We decided to see a movie that afternoon and stopped at a tasty seafood place for dinner. There really was so much good food and I still didn't even get to try it all. It was also my sister's birthday and I talked to her for a bit while Vance was out and about running errands for his dad.

Saturday May 31st: My final day there. It was a rather somber day. I tried really hard to make the most of the day and try to stay in an upbeat mood, but I had a hard time fighting back the tears. We went to the IMAX theater by Six Flags, and joked saying that we were gonna take a detour and just ride the Iron Rattler over and over instead of seeing a movie. Maleficent was a great movie. I would highly recommend seeing it if you get the chance. I actually like that story line better than the original Sleeping Beauty.

After the movie we stopped at a BBQ place so that I could try the chicken tenders that Vance had been raving about the whole trip and they were pretty tasty. I think I might have enjoyed them a little more if I hadn't had an upset stomach. We pretty much just hung out together before he had to take me back to the airport. Now, I know that I'm supposed to be there two hours before the flight, but next time, I'm only going to be there an hour before. The place is so small and it took no time getting through security. It reminded me a lot of Tucson airport.

My flight back was only 4 hours and I was home and in bed by 11. There was no time to re-acclimate to Seattle life before jumping back in to my work routine so it was a really long week. It's nice having a day off, despite the fact that I had been off all last week. From now on when I take a trip, I'll make sure I have at least a day to rest before jumping back in to work.

I spent the morning cleaning, which my room was in desperate need of. I got all of my dishes washed, cleaned the counters, dusted the tile floor, vacuumed the carpet and cleaned up some of the crap on my floor. I also got my laundry done today, instead of waiting until tomorrow after work, like I normally would, because I have some grocery shopping I need to do and I didn't want to feel rushed. The corner of the room still looks pretty messy, but it's an organized mess. There's a lot of boxes in the corner and with the limited space in my room, there's really not much I can do with them to get them out of the way.

Alright, I do believe this is probably the longest entry I've written in at least a year. I need to get some food in my system. Vance won't be happy if he finds out I've been up since 9 and haven't eaten anything yet. I know there's nothing he can do about whether I eat or not, but I don't like making him upset, which is what happens when my food consumption is lacking. Now to figure out what I want to actually eat.

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Back to reality
Sunday. 6.1.14 6:03 pm
It was a wonderful 10 days away. I was living in a dream that felt very much like reality. Being with him felt more like a normal life than normal life itself. Having to leave; that was the worst feeling. I cried a few times leading up to it and made sure I kept my emotions in tact until I got home. Once that happened, however, I broke down. I just couldn't take it anymore. I want so badly to be back there with him.

Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your own home? Everything feels wrong being apart from him. No matter how many times I woke up last night, he still wasn't in bed next to me. 3 more months, I have to go through this. We have to deal with this for three more months. Then another blissful 10 or so days and another 3+ months.

Is it worth it? Absolutely. I love him with ever fiber of my being and having the time to spend with him this past 10 days just solidified my security for our future together. The fact that being together and doing regular things just felt like it was normal life, comfortable and easy, is what convinced me. There was no tension or awkwardness of any kind. It just made sense. If there had been any doubt cast, any at all, then it probably wouldn't have continued. I'm ever thankful for the fact that there was no doubt.

I'm still not in the right mind set to be writing joyous things, accurately, about my trip so I will save that for a few days from now. Once I settle back in to the monotony of the life I live here, my runamuck emotions should calm down a bit. Until then I keep fighting back the tears and reminding myself that I'm a strong woman whose man loves her very much and is so much on the same page with our futures that it's kind of ridiculous.

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Hello nerves
Wednesday. 5.21.14 11:04 pm
I leave for San Antonio tomorrow and I'm actually getting pretty nervous. There are a lot of factors that contribute to the nerves, some of it being the fact that I was 9 years old the last time I took a vacation to a city I'd never been to. This will be the first time Vance and I will be getting together since the connection flourished. It's a different experience falling in love with someone via computer screen, but knowing who this person is at the same time. I'm also meeting his dad for the first time ever and it has me a little nervous. I'm not nearly as concerned with meeting his dad as I am his mom this coming September. I have a poor history with moms so that one has me nervous already.

It's only been 5 months since I took my last vacation and I'm kind of having trouble grasping the fact that I'm already taking another week off from work to travel somewhere. Having this second job really has been a nice pay off. The flight will be significantly longer than what I'm used to and I'm going to a place that will be all new to me.

Despite the fact that I've been counting down to this and planning this out for the past couple months, it feels incredibly spontaneous. This isn't something that I normally would even consider doing. All of this is new to me. And that scares the hell out of me.

Other than all of that, I'm really excited that this trip is finally here. I'm mostly packed. I have to get up in the morning to do a final, last minute load of wash before I head out. I really hope I remember to bring everything. My ear buds will be one of the first things I pack up in the morning. With this being a 4 hour flight, I will definitely need some music to tune out the people around me. I'll have a book with me as well. Hopefully that'll be enough of a sign for others to leave me the fuck alone.

My next entry may or may not be from the Central Time Zone, but there will definitely be one once I return. If you're friends with me on Facebook, keep up. There will be lots of check ins via Foursquare and a good chunk of pictures. So kind of like Vegas, but with a touristy vibe.

Until then. . .

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A few hours here, a few more there
Thursday. 5.15.14 7:37 pm
This past week, Saturday through today, I've worked a total of 65 hours. This coming week, Saturday through Wednesday, I'll be working a total of 62 hours. This is between both jobs and working overtime at the one. It's all because I need the money for when I get back from my trip. With having a full week missing from my first paycheck back, the extra money a little ahead of time will be helpful.

I also kind of started going to the gym, but only just a little bit. I've done weights once, but the treadmill 4 times. I'd do weights more, but I'm working overtime and my coworker does the weights at the end of our regular shift. So at the end of my 12 hour shifts, I've been going down to the fitness center and utilizing the treadmill. I'm slowly working on increasing my time and speed. I think next time I'll do the same speed I was at today, but with less time. The only downfall I've noticed is that my left hip is really bothering me afterwards.

Exactly one week from right now, I'll have been in San Antonio for about 3 hours. It's amazing how close we are now. Both of us are getting really excited, as if it was even possible. Apparently it is. I can't wait for my temporary escape from reality and dive in to my 10 days of intense bliss.

Other than working a fuckton of hours, nothing else has really been going on. I have a girl's night out thing tomorrow evening, which should be a lot of fun. We'll be going to the mall to get some shopping done, then going to Red Robin for fries and seeing Neighbors afterward. Two words: Zac Efron. Aside from that, I'll be sleeping in, going to the bank, stopping at the cafe for lunch and going to Trader Joe's to grocery shop for the next 5 work days. Needless to say it'll be a rather busy and productive, yet fun, day.

I'm hoping to write at least one more time before I go to Texas, so this will be until then. . .

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