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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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Accelerando in the key of love {ask}
Sunday. 8.17.14 12:53 am
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Slight invasion
Friday. 8.1.14 2:24 pm
After quitting Facebook for a couple weeks, I finally decided that I had enough pictures I wanted to share and signed back in. I uploaded my pictures first, then scrolled through the newsfeed that has yet to turn back to most recent posts. Because I'd been gone for so long, it felt it was necessary to share with me things that happened a couple days ago. Or yesterday. If I wanted to see yesterday's stuff, I'd keep scrolling.

An odd feeling came over me while I was scrolling, though. It kind of felt like I was invading on people's lives. Like, seeing the status updates, that didn't have pictures attached to them, felt weird to me. I felt like I was prying without permission. Which is amusing because that's what it's there for. People want you to know these things so they share them with you. For some reason I don't feel that way about Twitter, though I do mostly just follow celebrities and Instagram is just pictures, which is one of the main reasons why I still keep Facebook. I like looking at the pictures people share.

None of the rest of it is necessary.

I don't even care if people 'like' the stuff I share. I don't care if they comment. It's not there as a popularity contest. It really did feel nice to be disconnected from Facebook for a while, even if it wasn't a month or so that I originally planned the hiatus to be.

The other deciding factor in going back on was the fact that the individual who would be affected the most by some of the things I post isn't even friends with me on there anymore so I didn't really feel the need to 'hide' any longer. Sure, there are people in his life that are still on my friends list and if he chooses to look at my stuff through them, then so be it; that's his decision. He wanted to be disconnected so I'm giving the space that's necessary, but I'm not going to stop living because of it. It wouldn't be fair to me. I did have a mourning period. And I do still wish there was a less hurtful way, but there's not. So I continue living.

It's actually cloudy out right now. I'm pretty excited by this sudden development. I wasn't expecting the clouds until next week. The extended forecast didn't have it getting cloudy until Monday. We've certainly had enough sun to get us through for a while. Surprisingly, though, I did find myself glad that I got the pictures of the Blue Angels practice show yesterday, when the sun was shining bright and the sky was clear. They can fly higher, do more tricks and look more spectacular. Today, for the actual show, they'll have to cut back a little bit and make sure not to dance too dangerously with the clouds.

Tomorrow is back to work and then the week starts over. We're probably going back to mandatory 12s again soon. Which is annoying, but I'm actually kind of looking forward to the extra money. It'd be more appreciated if the money was coming from a source I don't hate, but I'll take what I can right now. I'm actually kind of waiting a little bit before I pick up my search again. I am holding my breath a little, even though I keep telling myself that I shouldn't get too excited. If nothing has happened by the time I get back from my extended weekend the first week of September, then I'll pick up my search in full force again.

We'll see what happens. I just know I'm enjoying the time I'm not at work. Alone or together, I'm pretty happy with my personal life right now.

Until next time. . .

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Falling at the speed of sound
Monday. 7.28.14 3:05 pm
My boyfriend is a pianist. He's a composer, to be more specific. His inability to read sheet music allows for the creative juices to flow freely, ensuring that every piece he creates is solely his. He records each piece that he feels fit to save for later, and although I've noticed a pattern among a lot of them, I have yet to encounter one that I felt should not have been recorded. Don't get me wrong, I don't love every song I've listened to; there are certainly a few that I didn't feel were up to par with the rest, but nothing has left me saying, "wow, this is really not good."

His most recent piece was completed in about two months and most of it was created during the first weeks of getting to know each other. In the end, when he finally completed it, he dedicated the song to me, saying I helped with the inspiration and that it would only be fair since I was the one with whom he talked during a lot of the final weeks of composition. It was probably one of the sweetest gestures I'd ever encountered. And it made me giddy knowing that I was the first person, aside from the creator, to have heard the completed piece.

Now, since then, I've played the song for quite a few people, but never all the way through. It's a considerable length, a little over 9 minutes, so I skip around to parts that I like more. The simple, yet elegant feel of his music puts me in a place that no other music is capable of doing. It may have something to do with the fact that I know whose fingers are in control of the sound waves, but I can close my eyes and drift away from life for a few moments while the music resonates through my eardrums.

He was goofing off yesterday on the piano while I was making some lunch and he would go from paying whatever came in to his mind and through his fingers to Christmas music. Jingle Bells and Carol of the Bells were among them. I suppose those are ones that everyone can learn just by sound. Hell, I could play them on my flute without needing the sheet music. It doesn't seem to matter to me what he plays, I thoroughly enjoy listening to all of it. Any of it. Anything he's willing to share with me makes me fall just a little further in to the deep bliss I'm currently wrapping myself up in.

This is certainly a feeling I want to soak up as much of as I can. And as long as he's willing to let me in, I'll be there; eyes closed, a smile on my face and my heart just melting that much more.

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Heartbreaking vs heartbroken.
Saturday. 7.19.14 7:01 pm
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Unfortunate timing.
Sunday. 7.13.14 2:30 pm
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Friday. 7.11.14 9:05 am
I made my final car payment today. I'm excited and giddy and it's probably going to take me another month or so before it finally kicks in that I actually own my vehicle. Completely and entirely, no more payments. In writing this, I just realized that I still have to renew my tabs this month .... shit. Guess it'll have to wait until next week when I get my next Sam's check. I mean, there will always be payments on my vehicle for maintenance, but I am the sole owner. My name was always the only one on the contract, but technically the financier owned the vehicle while I was still making payments. I wonder how long it's going to take for me to receive my title.

I went out last night with a friend to celebrate her getting the final yes on the new job. She will be starting next month. I'm super excited for her, but I'm really sad that she's leaving me. Who's going to keep me under control now? I'm actually hoping to follow her to the same place, but that could take time, if I'm even a candidate. I really hope I am. It would be a great job for me to have. Hell, even one of my friends who happens to be overly blunt about certain things said that I would do a lot better at that job. Not that I'm a shit security officer, but she seems me excelling in a customer service setting.

Today is *hopefully* going to be a productive day. I have already taken a shower and my laundry is in. Now I just have to motivate myself to clean my bathroom, take out my trash, do the dishes and straighten up the random papers strewn around my room. On top of that I have to motivate myself to leave the house, go put gas in my car, stop at the bank, buy a new shower curtain {something I've been needing to do for a couple weeks} and I should get something to eat while I'm out. Ugh. As much as I like payday, it's usually a day when I can't just laze about.

I'm also going out tonight to get sushi with a friend. Which means I have a deadline. I guess this will either fully motivate me to get everything accomplished or I'll just end up putting it off another week or two. The gas is the only absolute must that needs to be done. Let's see how much can be accomplished.

It's been just over a month since my last post and I've been meaning to write something new, but the motivation to do so just hasn't been there. I've also been working a shit ton of hours because my current full time job is fucked and the upper management is about as incompetent as you can get. Which is another reason why I'm trying so hard to leave. We all are. It's beyond words at this point.

Anywho, I'm starting to get distracted by what I actually need to do today so I'm gonna attempt to at least get a couple things done.

Until next time. . .

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