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Welcome to the Merrick

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous.
Actually, who are you not to be?

my loves
Li Rong
Michelle michelle
ET Laine
The earthquake
Sunday. 5.18.08 10:13 pm
I'm late. Too caught up with my own life, as I was shopping and enjoying the buffet yesterday, more pple died in the rubble of the China Sichuan 7.8 Ricter earthquake. I know it happened, but i did not want to read about it on the newspaper. too much death and destruction. 30 000 victims. mostly children.

Schools were in full session when the earthquake hit. Thousands of young students as young as 6 were all trapped and buried when the schools collapsed. Countless hospitals were hit too.

I teared up, reading Rong's entry, where she copied and paste from a China blogger. What else but deaths of innocent children can pull at heartstrings as this disaster did? Torrential rains have started in China, with the authorities predicting more heavy rains to come. How many pple buried in the rubble can stand the coldness of the rain. Waterloggged and will little will to live, will they give up?

to read chinese
right click\encoding\chinese simplified(GB18030)

The author states,

在所在悲伤信息中,最让我接受不了的,是这次地震灾害中,受损最严重的是学校。这让我除了伤心之外,更多了几分的愤怒,虽然出事的时候,学校正处在上学时间,孩子们集中度较高,出事的几率也高。而且垮塌的学校的情况各有不同,但我禁不住要问:为什么最先垮或垮得最彻底的,是最应该坚固和损伤最小的学校?我们的学校建设过程中,究竟有什么样的问题?在许多国家,学校都是作为战备疏散地,是最坚固的建筑,而我们的呢?看着那些从泥里挖出来的一个个活着和死去的孩子,想着他们身后那些含辛茹苦养活他们十几年,眼看他们就要长大成材的悲痛欲绝的父母亲,我心里痛得钻心,也恨得钻心。  据不完全统计,在这次地震灾难中,有众多学校被彻底摧毁,传闻很多,为了不传播不负责的信息,我仅从新华网,央视和四川电视台等权威媒体上摘录部分信息,可见灾害的一斑:北川中学1000多人被埋、 什邡市蓥华中学200多名师生被压废墟、都江堰尚有300余名学生等待救援、绵竹两所学校倒塌 200余人被埋、青川县一学校90名学生被埋在废墟、什邡市农居中心小学130多人被困、都江堰新建小学垮塌教室中抢救出260余名师生,其中29名小学生生还…… 以上学校的营救工作正在紧张进行中,时有好消息传出来,但随着时间的推移和大雨的狂泄,孩子们获救的希望越来越渺茫。据传说:唐山大地震,最久被救者的存活记录是九天,愿上苍保佑那些可怜的小生命吧!

.... continued..

第二个令我感动的,是成都市民。平心而论,我在成都呆了近十年,但作为外来人口,我对成都原住民的印象并不太好,总觉得他们现实、功利甚至自私和牙尖。这些都不是凭空而来的,而是有真实经历做依据的。但在这次地震发生之后,所见所闻种种成都市民的表现,让我对以往的印象,做出了较大的修正。从地震发生当晚开始献血现场排起的长长献血队伍,到募捐现场人们毫不犹豫的捐钱动作,一位八十几岁的老婆婆,步行二个多小时,挣扎着走到现场,捐出她和九十多岁的老伴两个月的生活费用。连平时最重利的生意人,舍弃利益为在门口躲灾的人们提供板凳和水。特别是在雨中,一些停车场让市民们在场内搭帐篷,没有平常的凶悍和势利表情……  在受灾严重的都江堰市中医院,一位父亲第一时间赶到现场,但得到的消息是他在此上班的21岁的女儿已被砸身亡,这位父亲眼含着泪,投入到救人中去了,一面喊着女儿的名字,一面救别人家的孩子……  在都江堰聚源中学,一位父亲看到自己的儿子脚被夹在楼板下,但看样子伤势并不致命,于是投入到营救别人的活动中,几小时后,等他别人再救出他儿子时,孩子的腿因为失血太久,已坏死了……  在成都市二医院,我还听到一位来自都江堰的女孩说,被砸在楼里的时候,因为太痛苦,她用石头砸自己的头,以求速死。但她旁边,一起被埋的另一位同学一直用微弱的声音在安慰她,说:“我们还这么小,要活下去,活下去!”最后,她们都咬牙坚持活下来,并迎来了营救的人群……  德阳一位女老师,在房子垮塌的那一刹那间,她用身体护住了四个小孩子,人们在挖出她遗体时,四个小生命安然无恙……  北川一位男孩子,本来已逃出房子,但他发现年迈的奶奶未出来,于是重新返回房中,被埋进废墟中……  各种各样感人的信息从四面八方传来,让人唏嘘不止也感叹不已。这时,我的文笔和眼泪都显得很虚弱,作为一个写作者,我从来没有这么不自信于自己的笔无法写我的心。

partial translate of the 2nd part of the text (i will try to translate as close to the text as i can):

"donations poured forth, one eighty year old pensioner walked for nearly 2 hours to reach ground zero, offering her donation of her and her 90yr old partner's 2 months living expenses. Even mercenary businessmen, gave up their profiteering and offered places to rest and water. The rain seem to wash away the hardness and defences of the people seeking shelter under the make shift tents. At a collasped hositpal, a father rushed there only to find his daughter, an 21 yr old employee of the hositpal already gone from the world. This father, with tears in his eyes, threw himself to the excavation efforts, all the while shouting his daughter's name, trying to save someone else's child. Another father, saw his son's legs clamped under a fallen stairway. But as the injury seemed non life threatening, he tried to help those more in need first. A few hours later, when his son was finally rescued, the leg muscles have already decayed and his son will never be able to walk again. A girl trapped under a rubble of her sch, confessed that because she couldn't stand the pain she tried to smash her head with a rock, hoping to die, to end the pain. A weak tiny voice from a fellow student consoled her,"we are still so young! we must live on! we must live!" She gritted her teeth and was rescued. During the split secound when the earthquake struck, a female sch teacher used her body to shield 4 young children. When the rescue team got to her body, the children were found unharmed. A youngster escaped from his collasping home, but when he realised his aged grandmother didn't make it out he went back...."

With credit to: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_58daf66701009bg5.html

personally, I am not partial to Cinas. From my own experience, I found them greedy, arrogant and offensive. but nonetheless, this earthquake have revealed another side of the Chinese. I cannot help much. But i hope with all my heart that they will find more survivors. Human beings are the only species who will help another in need at the expense of their own suvrvial. This is what makes us human.

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profile of an ESTJ
Sunday. 5.18.08 8:51 pm
one of our lecturers made us do a personality test to see how different personalities affect work teams.

i came out as an ESTJ aka Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging person.

some of the Personality things i found so true for me

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts. (ya.. and thats my downfall..everything chop chop till i chop off my own hand also dunno)

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. i know i'm damn pushy and i prob piss pple off all the time when doing projects and stuff, like i was telling Lindy and Jaye, plz forgive me, I can't really help myself! But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ESTJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list.

Possible Career Paths for the ESTJ:

Military leaders (i'm a General! Jiang Jun!)
Business Administrators and Managers
Police / Detective work
Judges (how the hell do u start directly as a judge??)
Financial Officers
Sales Representatives (hhmmm.. next job?)

ESTJ Weaknesses

Tendency to believe that they are always right (I know everyone's nodding their heads vigourously now!)
Tendency to need to always be in charge
Impatient with inefficiency and sloppiness
Not naturally in tune with what others are feeling
Not naturally good at expressing their feelings and emotions
May inadvertantly hurt others with insensitive language
Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious (its a material world, no running from it)
Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories
May be unaware or uncaring of how they come across to others. (uncaring mostly)
May quickly dismiss input from others without really considering it. (oops, not on purpose though)
May have an intense and quick temper. (well..........no excuses for me here)

Abt Partners
ESTJ's natural partner is the ISTP(BINGO! now i know why, i can stop trying to figure out what happened..LOL ), or the INTP. ESTJ's dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best matched with someone whose dominant function is Introverted Thinking.

ESTJs will have little patience with people who seem frivolous or extremely untraditional. They like to hear good jokes, and enjoy telling them as well.(not so much the telling part, but i really have no patience with idiotic lame ass dumb jokes, vs witty jokes) They're valued by their friends for being dependable and upbeat, and easily engaged in various pursuits. (yup, Pple can talk to me abt planes, bikes, model building and the like, I'll be interested to listen)
ESTJs are likely to bond best with other ESTJ, or with people of any type, if they share a common interest or goal.

what so u think? i think its pretty accurate.

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