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I am
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
Don't you
Sunday. 5.27.07 8:20 pm
We leave tomorrow morning. REALLY early tomorrow morning.
My mom's already packed and everything, quite contrary to me.

Today at church they prayed for us. It was pretty cool, I guess.

I've been sick, though, and it's making me quite upset. I don't need this right now. I have hardly any energy. And I need a haircut. Bad. Seriously. But my mom wants me to wait until we get up to Minnesota.
And the fact that we leave tomorrow means I'm saving all my nice clothes for the trip there. So because of all of this, I look like general crap today.

After church I took most of the youth to get a burger, than home. I didn't eat where they ate, since it looked to greasy, but that's what they wanted.
I ended up going to a chinese restaraunt with Paul, one of my youth, and Helena. The food didn't sit well with me, so I felt even worse, and probably looked even worse.
Paul really wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and I was willing to see it again, just because it's him. He's cool. So, we bought our tickets and walked around the mall for a little bit.

As the song that I currently have up, played in the background, Helena, Paul, and I walked through the mall. I kept my eyes down most of the time. (There were alot of people). I'd glance up once in a while.
Glance up - random people.
Look back down. Stay down.
Glance up - random people.
Look back down. Stay down.
Glance up - random people.
Look back down. Stay down.
Glance up - her parents.
Look back down, wait-what?
Look up - raise hand in a general akward/ashamed gesture which signified "hello".
The mom returns it - the dad looks away.
And I stare back down at the floor and walk past them.
A minute or so later I looked over at Helena. She's looking over the rail at the carousel. She had no clue. ...like usual.

We arrived late to the movie.
We exchanged the tickets and returned mine. I went home and they went to the 7 o'clock showing.

My stomach couldn't stomach it.

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Tuesday. 5.22.07 11:54 am
Interesting days.

I was really upset a while back. My mom's surgery was going to be the 26th of June, or so I thought, in the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. And that fell right during the Summer Component, where I'll be working. I figured I could get a couple days off, but my mom said her recovery might take a week or more. She also told me she really needed me to work, since we won't be making any money any other way. So, I'd have to stay here, while my mom went to surgery. I was pissed. It was the stupidest situation. Then my mom and I were talking and somehow we came across the surgery and when it was happening... My mom meant May, not June. I felt so incredibly idiotic yet relieved. So, a week from now I'll be in Minnesota with my mom getting ready for her surgery on the 30th (I got the day wrong, too). I'm really glad that I got to go, but at the same time... Well, It's STILL a surgery. Not exactly something to be glad over. I can tell my mom's worried about this one. I'm not going to lie. I am, too.

Yesterday, I took my friend, Monica, to her interview. She's going to be working at the Boys and Girls Club Summer Component along with me. While we were thereI learned of the staff meeting we were having at 4:30 that day. A staff meeting I was supposed to already know about. Awesome. But I'm used to that where I work. So, me and Moe (Monica) went back to my house and watched her senior directed one act play, "the Respectful Prostitute"', which was quite enjoyable and very well done (of course). Then we made our way down to where the staff meeting was being held, at Texas Wesleyan University in the ghetto's part of town. During this meeting Moe and I both noticed trouble.
First off, I do NOT want to be Mr. Theriot's teacher assistant. Lord Farquad (Mr. Theriot) will drive me insane, I know he would. Rather, the students in his class would, simply because of who the teacher is.
Secondly, there's some attractions to certain people from certain people. And we don't want none of that in the work place. Great.

After I dropped Moe off, I made my way to a gathering of some people from church. It's a small group whose intents are to raise the bar for each other spiritually and to bring up servant leaders. So, they're having a block party at one of the member's houses to invite the neighbors over to build a relationship with them. I think it's a neat idea. So we prayed over it and made the details of it all. One of them asked me about my mom. I told her what was going on. She said, "I'm sorry, Aldo." and put her hand on me to punctuate her point. I said, "It's allright." and smiled my usual awkward smile with this. But she didn't do what people normally do. They usually just turn away at that point or begin a new conversation. But she didn't do any of this. No, she just stared straight into my eyes. I felt the walls weaken for a second. NO. This is silly. I'm not about to draw attention to myself. I looked away and gathered myself. "It's allright!" I said as I looked back at her with an even bigger more confident smile. She nodded and looked away. I got up, right after that and walked to the kitchen to relieve my mind and thoughts of that situation.
To escape it's existence, like I usually do.
Or even it's memory.

I got home. I was really tired by 11pm.
I turned off the light. And fell asleep.
5 minutes later I woke up.
I then remained awake for the next 20 minutes.
I finally got tired of waiting and went online.
Still didn't get sleepy, but I knew I should rest.
I went to bed near to 1 am.
Turned off the light.
Still nothing
I turned it back on and began to read.
The first Harry Potter book entertained me.
Finally at nearly 2:30 am I began to get sleepy.
I turned off the light and zonked.

And I dreamt.

Despite everything in my life...

She still came.
In my dreams.
She ran after me.
I ran from her.
But she still came.
She caught me.
I ran again.
She was there when I stopped running.
Told me she didn't want me to leave.
It was hard for me not to smile at her.
I knew she was bad.
But I couldn't help what I felt.

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