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if you stick around, i'll sing you pretty sounds.

smudge clothing company.
sometimes randy and sporadicfunk and i draw pictures and we put the pictures on shirts and you have to buy them.

here is a direct link to our store on zazzle.

shirts for sale.

also, you can find us on facebook.

become a fan.
guide to success with my weblog.
step one: read everything to the right of this module.
step two: click every number at the bottom of the screen.
step three: go back to step one.

repeat infinity times.
this is my personal assistant.
i managed to break this little nutang helper from his contract with nutang, and now he works for me. his name is jump-for-joya. he manages this site. all complaints and other inquiries should be directed to him.


he thanks you for your cooperation.
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200 pps up for grabs.
Friday. 4.6.07 12:03 am
i'm issuing a challenge to whomever can write the best story based on the following guidelines.


challenge: the burrito story.

in mexico, long before humans existed, long before dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was another type of being. the burrito.

as farfetched as it sounds, it is complete truth that the burrito reigned over all of earth's creatures. the fiestiness of a combination of meat, beans, cheese, and rice could not be matched. this story focuses on a particular burrito. his name was jonathan everall, but his friends called him johnny moses.

why, you might ask, did they call him johnny moses? well, you will find out as this story progresses.

our setting: the small town of cacao, near el rio grande. the year, irrelevant.


it's up to you to write the best story with this setting and plot. best story gets 200 pps.

stories can be left as notes or comments to me, or emailed to me ([email protected]).

enter as many damn stories as you want. if it isn't awesome, i'll be frank; i'm not gonna read the whole thing. so it better be golden from start to finish.

one week. 200 pps up for grabs. good luck.


Comment! (4) | Recommend! (2)

Wednesday. 4.4.07 11:23 pm
lots of stuff happened!

my mom came to town. she lives in england. i've been spending time with her this week, because tomorrow she leaves. it's been nice. she bought me some clothes for work; this bank job better pull through.

we went to new york and new jersey this past weekend. my brother's house looks pretty freakin' sweet. it needs some work, but it's bound to be sweet pickins.

i had white castle for the first time. it's as delicious as i thought it'd be.

if i get this bank job, it's one step closer to moving out of this house. well, here's hoping.

*crosses fingers*

currently listening to: low rider by war


Comment! (7) | Recommend!

creation science 101
Tuesday. 3.27.07 1:55 pm

i thought this was pretty hilarious.


Comment! (11) | Recommend!

reign over me.
Monday. 3.26.07 12:13 am
i had a pretty good weekend.

my mom came over to the states from england. i'll be spending more time with her this week.

we went and saw "reign over me" which was a fantastic movie. ridiculously sad, however. it's a tearjerker, so don't go see it if you don't like that kind of movie.

i had some sushi yesterday. chirashi, more specifically. it was awesome.

today, i spent then day with some friends. we played this cardgame called munchkin, and a game of risk. niki whooped! everyone at risk. munchkin was fun. if you don't know what it is, check it out here. sike, that's not a link, i just underlined it. google it or something.

tonight niki and i went to hang out with some soccer kids. they played pokemon monopoly until the very bitter end, and we followed it up by watching futurama, robot chicken, aqua teen hunger force, and metalocalypse. we also played hearts.

that was pretty much it. i wish the weekends lasted longer. it was fun.

currently listening to: thunderhorse by dethklok


Comment! (5) | Recommend!

the gaston thesis (edit)
Wednesday. 3.21.07 12:33 am
if you're looking for some useful information, then i'm afraid you have come to the wrong place.

what i've* compiled here is an ellaborate thesis on gaston from disney's "beauty and the beast." i hope you enjoy it.



“When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. Now that I’ve grown I eat five dozen eggs so I’m roughly the size of a barge!”

Gaston is a lad from the time he eats whole foods until 20, when he is no longer a teen.
20 years – 3 years = 17 elapsed years

4 dozen * 12 eggs (1 dozen) = 48 eggs per day
48 * 364.25 (days per year) = 17484 per year
17484 * 17 years = 297228 eggs in 17 years

Let us assume Gaston is 30 years old. He now eats five dozen eggs every morning.

30 years – 20 years = 10 elapsed years

5 dozen * 12 eggs (1 dozen) = 60 eggs per day
60 * 364.25 (days per year) = 21855 per year
21855 * 10 years = 218550 eggs in 10 years

297228 eggs + 218550 eggs = 515778 eggs in 27 years

Gaston has eaten roughly 515778 eggs by the time he is thirty. Let us assume one dozen eggs cost about 2 dollars.

515778 / 12 = 42981.5 dozen eggs
42981.5 * 2 = 85963 dollars

Gaston has spent approximately $85963.00 on eggs alone in his lifespan.

The linear equation for the amount of eggs Gaston eats after he is 30 years old is:
y = 515778 + 21855x
x = years
y = number of eggs

To find when Gaston reaches one million eggs:
515778 + 21855x = 1000000
21855x = 1000000 – 515778
x = (1000000 – 515778) / 21855
x = 22.156 (approximately)
To make up for the first 30 years, 30 must be added to x.
x + 30 = 52.156

When Gaston reaches fifty three years old, he has consumed at least one million eggs.


believe it.


*mike (rip-tie-prophecy) contributed.

Comment! (15) | Recommend! (11)

don't recommend this blog.
Monday. 3.19.07 11:29 pm
i was looking through the list of "recommended blogs" and came to a silly conclusion.

i found that many of the blogs had their own user pick it to be recommended. yes! thank you for thinking that your blog was worth the read. personally, i think that my blogs are worth the read. but that's becuase i wrote them. of course i agree with my blogs, and recommend you to read them; again, i wrote them.

even if your blog may be worth reading, don't recommend it yourself. it just makes you look silly. creating the blog itself is recommending that everyone reads it.

you look even more silly when you have one recommendation and it is from yourself. i'm not gonna name names; you know who you are.

do me a favor, and don't recommend this blog. just read it, and accept it's truth.

p.s., do you think this would look cool on a hat?

currently listening to: the only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one by relient k


Comment! (9) | Recommend!

when you buy my things it makes me happy.
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