Truly this is the day the lord has made
The light splits the darkness in two
Driving out the demons and the fae
It is a brighter light
a better light
a wholesome light
It is blinding

This is the day the Lord had made
But my eyes must adjust

Written in response to the fact that it is really really bright out today.

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There is a chasm between me and you
I made it
I took a shovel to the space in between
I dug down deeper and deeper

I did not want to hurt you
I did not want to cause you harm
so I drew so far away that I could not touch you
I separated myself from you and you were safe

But what of me?
I sit on the other side of the chasm and I long for you
Come back to me

I miss you

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So, I was thinking about God and how sometimes He seems so far away and so near at the same time. So I was thinking: if we are on a sphere, then if I am facing the direction I am facing now, South, then naturally the place is furthest from my vantage would be... right behind me.

Say God is like this. Say when you feel far away from God, it is only because you are facing in the wrong direction.

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Ode to My Enemies

Those who hate me
Those who hold me in a place of distaste
Those who don�t trust me and wish me to the grave
Those who spit at me and whisper about me when I�m gone
I was wrong

Those who comfort those
Who are in distress because of me
Those who listen and do not understand how there could be someone such as me
Those who lift them up and feed their anger
I am here for you

Those who shy from me
Those who feel shame at the sight of me
Those who can not look at me for what you have done to me
I forgive you

I pray for you, all of you dear ones.
I mediate upon your trouble and it pains me to see you in pain.
My heart bleeds for you
for no reason other than that you are the children of
someone I love dearly

I do not want to cause you grief
I do not want to cause you pain
but I am imperfect and I am flawed and in the maze of decisions
I make wrong ones

I am just as weak, just as broken, just as foolish as any of you.
Probably even more so.

So when you hear this, know that I love you for no better reason than that you are there. I cannot carry hate in my heart, it brings sickness upon me. I am helpless but to love you. Let me love you.

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I had an awesome birthday yesterday. We all went out for pizza at this amazing little local pizza shop downtown. I think they were a little surprised to see us, from what some people said, but it didn't end up being that big of a deal. I think the older I get, the more my parties transition from an event with activities involved to an event with excuses to talk involved and it strikes me: the great thing about friends is that that you are constantly finding out new thing that you like about them. ^_^

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So I went to Genghis this weekend. It was really a lot of fun. I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time and it seemed that we caught right back up to where we were in no time. I LARPed for about the third time in my life. I think I'm getting a little bit better, besides, it was WOD and the judges were amazing.

Also, I had my pre-birthday with the Fam. Some of my two favorite presents are the giant pink octopus that I ordered for myself (her name is now Agatha, she is a squishable) and my ipod classic, which I am listening to right now. The sound is really friggen good out of these earbuds. I am pleasantly surprised.

My parents also made me a cake (yum). It was a white cake with pink frosting and white coconut, my favorite. Also, mint chocolate chip, also my favorite.

I am back in Laramie, a little tired but still glad that I went. So, thusly, I look forward to my real birthday at the end of the week.

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