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in a sepia tone aww yeah.

Dave Shaffer
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Mansfield, PA
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some poetry

1927 Max Erhmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
it's time for a new entry
Tuesday. 8.2.05 10:31 pm
Not that I don't love having pics of me and Sarah up there or anything. I just feel like writing new stuff.

I had off all last week, so Monday, Mom dropped me off at the old house to pack things up, and I recruited Jay Crain to help me out with it. We got up there to find a ravaged house. Things are not good on this front. We were up there just yesterday too, and as I just said, things are not good on this front. More details will come as events warrant, however, be not surprised if the words "legal battle" show up.

Had a great weekend with Sarah though! Update later.

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Wednesday. 7.20.05 10:08 pm
First order of business: if you're looking for pics of the guitar, not this update. Perhaps a future one, but there's a girl that needs her pictures up online first.

That said, I finally have pictoral proof that I have, in fact, tricked the pretty girl Sarah I have mentioned in almost every post since March into paying attention to me, and even going so far as to bear my children. Well, okay, I'm kidding about the last part, but if I have to fix her fucking computer one more time... anyway. Without further adieu, here are the pics of us, linked because they are large:

UPDATE: Sarah saw these and wanted to add her own commentary, so that's changed:

This is us.
Dave: I put this one first because it's the one I keep with me in my car in case I feel lonely. And it's the best!
Sarah: Yeah, this one is okay.

The obligatory kissy pic.
Dave: I guess I'm an exhibitionist too, but I just like her smile in this.
Sarah: Squinty eyes! It's okay, my eyebrows look itty bitty.

Dave: She was thinking it.
Sarah: OMG, what is this creepy boy doing to my face?

Yay contrast.
Dave: It was basically like "Hey, let's see how retarded we can look right now READY GO." *click*
Sarah: Wow, my teeth look terrible. Oh, look. Brandon Boyd.

This pic is awesome.
Dave: We look really good here. Sarah says she has a helmet of hair in it but I think it looks cute and awesome in this.
Sarah: I look like a QB or something.

This is one of the first pics she sent me.
Dave: I looked at it every hour for about three days. DAMN.
Sarah: Aww, me and Miss Kristi Cutie. I was stoned and my hair was frizzy.

Sarah in her younger and more vulnerable years.
Dave: We share a common bond of hating The Great Gatsby and that damn dog. Sorry Maddy, you bug me!
Sarah: Dude, that was only like a year ago.

This pic is a bit of an eyeful.
Dave: We like just woke up and thought, stupidly, that we should photograph ourselves in all our beastly morningness. Actually Sarah is quite lovely in the morning, really. Even in this pic, however, I still look like a beast.
Sarah: Yeah, I'm just happy the flash didn't illuminate the drool on my chin.

Sarah and her friend Tracy.
Dave: This pic is just nice. It's one of the last ones she took before the end of the semester.
Sarah: Awww. Tracy! I saw her today. We're going to Olean tomorrow to get sheets. They're onsale at Penny's. lol. We're such old ladies.

A striking eye depiction.
Dave: Actually she was just wasting film.
Sarah: I dunno man, this is hot.

Another morning-type pics.
Dave: I actually look pretty normal here, but Sarah appears to be sporting a cancer-patient look that she doesn't normally have. Yeah, that's right, I just made a cancer joke. What of it?
Sarah: Yeah, I don't look so hot. You just look like you.

Sarah said I'm not allowed to put this picture up but I'm doing it anyway.
Sarah: DUDE, that is my flab!!!! Why do you want people to know I'm a Fatty McButterpants?!?!?!?!?!
Dave: Shut up butt face you're hot.

And now, prepare yourself. I can't believe it, but it actually happened. This picture is the best picture ever taken of me in the history of time, EVER.
Sarah: I am just a phenomenal photographer.

QED. I can't believe I tricked her. Haha!

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a new member of the family
Friday. 7.8.05 9:45 am
As anyone who knows me knows, I am a musician. I play guitar and drums, and I sing. Last summer, when I was having Grant Harding's birthday party up at the cabin I was staying at, my electric guitar got broken, one of the pegheads just broke straight off. Which sucked, because I like electric guitar 8000 times as much as I like acoustic.

Since I didn't get a job until second semester this year, I didn't have any money to do anything with, and once I did, other expenses came up. Long story short, I managed to dent the ever-loving shit out of one fret on my electric with a pair of pliers I kept in the case to tune it with, ruining its playability.

So about a month ago, I took it up to Yale's and had them install new pegheads and set it up and everything, and I asked them if they would replace the dented fret, to which they said sure. However, the caveat was that Dave Yale had to take it up to Syracuse and have his luthier do it, which he said he'd do the next week or so.

I called yesterday, and they said they did the pegheads the previous day, but the fret still wasn't done. So I was like fuck this, and when Joel and I went up to do our traffic court thing, Mom went up to Sayre and got the guitar. After Joel and I got done with traffic court, Mom and I headed down to Williamsport to R.M. Sides and I took the axe into their luthier, who said the guitar would be finished today (Friday). After I dropped that off, I did my usual thing of playing with all their shit, and Chris Bovard seemed to like it because I actually knew what I was playing. I happened upon the acoustic section of the store, and while I was comparing a few of the instruments, Mom came up to me and said "Okay, which one do you like?"

I didn't realize it was a loaded question.

I showed her a couple I was really digging, and she's like "Okay, so which one do you want. I'll float you a loan." I turned it down because I felt bad, like, it wasn't a dire need for me to have an acoustic guitar, even though my old one is badly needing repairs. But pretty soon she was like Wayne Brady on that episode of Dave Chappelle where he hands Dave the pipe and says "smoke this." Mom was like "David, you will pick out a guitar you want or else we will have a problem." Dead serious.

So I left the store with a new Yamaha acoustic. That is, of course, after Thrad and his friend Andy came down and met us there. I tried out literally 50 guitars before I decided on that one and I am wicked glad. So now all hell will break loose with my recordings. And Thrad approves too.

After that, I headed over to Thrad's for a bit to chill with him and Andy, who is cool shit. Thrad has great friends too, it seems. Sucks that we didn't get to hang a whole lot, but I at least got to show them the new songs I wrote recently.

Oh, and speaking of which, I'm gonna put some links to mp3s up soon. I wrote music for Dan Swain and Mallory Soon-To-Be-Swain's upcoming wedding and I'm really proud of it.

Oh, and pictures of me and Sarah too. We are awesome. :-*

Okay, that's the end of this one.

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independizzence dizzle
Wednesday. 7.6.05 9:03 am
I'll sum it up in a sentence: I didn't do anything for the 4th of July except enjoy a day off of work and be pissed that I had to take Sarah home at the butt crack of dawn instead of getting to spend more time.

But the weekend was awesome. Before I write about it, I feel I need to preface this whole thing with Sarah Lincoln is one of the best girlfriends a guy could ask for, and Joel Ciaccio is one of the best friends a guy could have.

So, after work on Friday, I drove to Ulysses to get Sarah. En route to her house, my car starts fucking up. Like, just having a temper tantrum really. It would fire, it would not fire, blah blah. I'm determined to make this the most abbreviated version of the story yet (sorry Sarie, haha), so long story short, the car stalled. A guy came and helped me, and we did some remedial repairs I thought it needed (specifically oil), and I was wrong. Then the guy was twiddling with my engine and found a loose connection, and when he plugged it back in, the car worked fine. So I was like shit, I'm a dumbass. Then I went on my way.

Picked up Sarah, we drove back to my house, and we were there for like an hour or something, then we drove down to Thrad's and picked him up. Went to Staples and totally pissed around inside the store. I mean, we were RETARDS. And it was FRIGGIN FUN! I must say that I love practicing judo on Sarah when she's not expecting it. There's nothing like the look on someone's face when they have been ippon seoi nage for no reason. Then she punches me and that's fun too because for a chick, she hits hard.

We hit up Sheetz and then headed back to Thrad's place for a bit, and saw his mom who is looking well after the surgery. Then Sarah, T-rad and I all talked for a while and it was the usual dose of good times and absolutely awful things said in the most matter-of-fact tones. I can't even remember like anything we said because it was all a blur of "your mom" jokes and laughing like fools. Or picking on Sarah. Every girl needs to get picked on hard sometimes. :)

About 11:00, Thrad decided he was gonna "be a faggot" and "go to bed" so he could "get up early" and "go to work tomorrow," so Sarah and I took off after fisting him and his goat one last time. When she and I got back to the house, we were just completely wiped out, so we went straight to bed.

Saturday morning, we slept in. Till like friggin 12. It was absolutely awesome. Sarah makes a great bedmate because we both really love sleeping. And I don't remember a thing we did on Saturday except sleep and hang out in my room and eat. I think I may have gone down and grandstanded on the piano or something. And we ate at Doc's, as we always tend to do. Doc's is such a great place.

And I think Sunday was the same thing. I am totally convinced we did something, but I can't remember. A super cute thing happened though: Sarah and my mom spent like an hour curled on the couch together looking at baby pictures of me, Kat, and Charlie. They totally bonded and it was absolutely adorable.

Ahh Sarah. She gets along with everyone in my family so damn well. They all like her so much and I just beam whenever anybody says anything because I like her too. All my friends dig her because she's a great party companion, and she picks on me a lot, which all my friends love seeing because I pick on all of them a lot so it's good that I get a taste of my own medicine sometimes.

This relationship is still in its infancy, and so I'm sure a part of what I'm feeling right now is the new-love fireworks that so many songwriters and poets write about as definitive proof of God Almighty. And so in that sense it is very exciting. But sometimes I feel like there are things I can't quite tell her yet and it makes me kind of sad, because I feel like I'm keeping secrets from her. However, the truth is while she is close to me and I care about her a lot, I don't know her as well as I do Joel, Thrad, or Chicken, and so she is not one of my best friends.


I can really see this working out in a long-term way. I already decided at the outset of it that I wasn't going to want so much from her that if we ever parted ways it was ugly, because I have had my fill of that. And I decided that whatever I felt, I felt, and I wasn't going to try and convince myself otherwise. I think she trusts that about me. And I am coming around to trusting her, slowly. Naturally. And I love her unreservedly, which helps make a lot of it worthwhile.

As do the nights passed in flagrante delicto. *grin*

The only annoying thing that happened this past weekend was that her parents demanded that I bring her back to Mansfield at fucking 9:00 am on Monday, my day off! But I did and didn't complain too bad about it because not having the approval of the other side's parents is the beginning of the end. I like her folks anyway, even if her mom is completely OCD about keeping their house neat and her dad doesn't say anything, like ever.

After Sarah went home, I came back and just chilled for a bit and hung out with Joel later that evening, which was also a beautiful thing. Joel and I have been sticking to this ritual of going to the CHS bleachers and having a smoke or two while we talk about life and music and women, every night. And I hope that someday Sarah and I relate to each other as well as Joel and I do because it is just awesome. It's a friendship without bounds of explanation.

Then it was back to work on Tuesday. All in all the weekend gets a 10/10.

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weekend update with dave shaffer
Saturday. 6.25.05 7:38 pm
Ohh sweet nectar.

Work this week was boring, but payday ruled because I paid my insurance, bought stuff from Musician's Friend, and my girlfriend came over again. This was awesome because with this visit, Sarah will have finally met everyone who matters to me in my life, with the exception of my grandma!

The last link in the chain was Joel, and we plunged Sarah immediately into Joel's and my nightly ritual of walking and smoking on the bleachers. We're so badass, I tell you. Actually, it's funny, Joel and I have been up there about 7 times now and the Canton cops always visit the area and drive by reeeeaaaallly slow and look at us real mean before they leave us alone. So we went down there and Sarah, predictably, fit in really, really well with us. She's such a good fit it's crazy.

During the venture, we walked around behind the elementary school and got her creeped out because it's really dark and you can never tell if people are there or not, and then we played on the swings and... football uprights. Yes, we turned the football uprights into our own personal monkey bars. And you know, I made this pact with Sarah that I was going to start running and doing that thing every night and I haven't. Haha! I just straight up haven't, but I realized that I get my exercise other ways, and that's by walking with Joel and being an absolute monkey retard on school playground eqiupment. So that's nice.

On our way back, we walked past this one house on Main and I did a double take to be sure that I saw what I did on the inside. Then I made Joel walk back and look at it, and I tried to get Sarah too and she wouldn't. Joel came back apparently holding his guts in his mouth with his hand and was like "WTF WAS THAT GUY DOING?" You know what we saw? NAKED DUDE ASS. And it wasn't like he was banging his girlfriend or anything, the guy was just totally walking around his house naked as the day he was born. And it was bad too because the guy was ugly as shit.

All in all it was awesome having Sarah there again this weekend, and it turns out that she will be out here next weekend too. Maybe I'll hijack her into going to Thrad's or we'll go see Chicken or something. Who knows.

And I will end on this note: she makes me feel like I am the king of the world. Or at least king of her castle. ;)

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Tuesday. 6.21.05 11:53 pm
I do know what has gotten into me: a very deep appreciation for people and peoplehood and discovering a new skill of loving and accepting people for being people. Everything I have been before makes me what I am now, and it's the same way for everyone else too. It's crazy. Everyone is the same and everyone is different. God, I love life.

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