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Age. 39
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location Valley Village, CA
School. Cornell Univ
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124th day of 2008
I chat with a lot of my colleagues online. In recent conversations, I've asked many of them: "Yea, but what if management remains intragnizent?"

For the most part, the conservation either ends or is changed. What is up with that? Why are my coworkers so intragnizent?

Marching to a different intragnizence, have you ever yearned to eat face?

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All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
Irrefutable Proof that Dinosaurs Once Ruled the World
114th day of 2008

Need I say more?

In other news, Boston Dynamics, the leading provider of human simulation software, tools, and solutions, has developed the most advanced quadruped robot on Earth, codenamed BigDog. As the name suggests, it's the size of a large dog, measuring 1 meter long, 0.7 meters tall, and 75 kg weight. In separate trials, BigDog runs at 4 mph, climbs slopes up to 35 degrees, walks across rubble, and carries a 340 lb load. Needless to say, this advanced robot is both to be awed (and eventually feared as it learns to think for itself). Videos of BigDog have been released on youtube, and they truly are impressive. Observe:

The engineering team has certainly made massive improvements since the initial release of BigDog Beta. Observe and compare:

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The Most Delicious Destination in the World
52th day of 2008
I am so sleepy. It would appear that I got screwed over. In an attempt to get some much needed sleep, I went to bed at 9PM, only to awaken at 10PM in a world of extreme tire, but clear-minded state.

And thus, strapping this tire to the wheel of my car, I took a journey to what may at first appear to the be the most delicious destination in this world -- Seafood Island. This is a land so magical, so fantastic, your deepest, carnal desires of hunger come to you (in droves of millions). This is a land where you can (but it very unlikely that you would) go to bed hungry and alone, but awaken with a stomach full of seafood and a room filled with shelled demons from the deepest depths of the sea. (Unfortunately, that did not happen to me when I awoke a couple hours ago.) This is a land where you, and all your neighbors, will have bad cases of crabs without ever leaving the comfort of our home. Observe a wonderment so wonderful, it will make your mouth water with tears and your eyes light up with lemon juice. It will make your feet tingle with fungus, and your ears deafen with mayhem. It may even--no! it will--make your belly button giggle in resonance with the heartbeat of your soul mate and your groin growl with impotence.

And it was here where I met a little girl girl so big and powerful, she would lure pedophiles into her domicile and eat them alive. Observe this giant girl. Her name is Giant Girl, or GiGi for short.

And, as well are know, a blog post beginning with a video of delicious seafood must also end with one. To satisfy your hunger, here you go:

And finally, I leave you with a NuTang exclusive. A good college buddy of mine, a man of no mercy, has created a social networking community around video games. If you like to waste time playing video games and waste time online, then, my friend, this is the site for you: http://mygamemug.com. Upon registration, you can use the invite code 'nutang' to obtain exclusive membership. Let the games begin.

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Let's Celebrate Celebrity Apprentice
12th day of 2008
I've been waking up at 5:30 all week, followed by a 2 hour commute down to Orange County for a long day's work, ending with another 2 hour commute back to northern LA, so I'm very tired and will keep this short (unlike the length of this sentence). Celebrity Apprentice is soo funny! I just watched the first 2 episodes on Hulu. Anyway, I'll post them up for your enjoyment. (Let's hope this actually loads properly).

Episode One

Episode Two

Gene Simmons is so hilarious. Here's the best quote:

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All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
Of Ninjas, Scientific Research, and Mammalian Vegetation
8th day of 2008
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read this most important post. As you may have already deduced from the well encrypted blog title, this post is about ninjas, scientific research, and mammalian vegetation. So, first, why these three topics? As Professor McBurgerKing from Harvard Medical School said in a recent interview published by the NY Giants, "With the impending US presidential elections, we will see three hot political topics will emerge again and again." Logicians have implied that those three topics are none other than ninjas, scientific research, and mammalian vegetation.

Chapter 1. Of Ninjas
With the recent birth of the Catholic Church, the empire of the ninjas has suffered a dramatic downturn. Millions of ninjas have defected to the Church, abandoning their wanton ways of chivalry. In fact, for the past couple centuries, ninjas remained out of the limelight. However, just this morning, my personal friend Siyeng Lang, president of the small Southeastern Asian nation Medicia, sent me this footage (shown below) taped in the streets of his country.

The above scene, taped from well choreographed traffic cameras equipped with music, represents a startling event that any serious presidential candidate should be aware of.

Message to Presidential Candidates – Ninjas are back, and back with a vengeance!! If you aren't already aware, then clearly you haven't read the NY Times Bestseller, Diary of a Ninja, which clearly foretells 2008 as the maturity year for the Prophecy of the Retarded Ninjas!! I hope the above video is a wake up call!!!

Chapter 2. Of Scientific Research
It all began one cold night during my graduate school years. I was working my ass off in the lab, pouring random, flourescent chemicals into unlabeled flasks, when a janitor dressed in an extravagent costume made out of real bear skin jumped out of the sink and knocked me out with his clenched fists. When I woke up, several years later, I was cold, hungry, and completely naked. But, I wasn't scared.

Anyway, to make a short story less long, I have since been working on some top secret, scientic research for government agencies. Tonight, we finally made a startling break-through and I decided to take the liberty to reveal it to the public via my NuTang blog. Tonight, we discovered the Fanbase Browser (FB). FB is a highly powerful machine that allows you to browse the userbase of AllRespect.com based on who the members set as their favourite bands. For instance, ever wonder who are the people who like Foo Fighters, Guns N' Roses, and My Chemical Romance? WONDER NO MORE AFTER YOU CLICK THIS LINK. Note how you can view and filter by demographics.

Message to Presidential Candidates – Let me be the one to say it first. The candidate that can fully utilize and harness the raw and true power of the Fanbase Browser will control more power than any amount of campaign money can ever buy!!!

Chapter 3. Of Mammalian Vegetation
This peanut looks like... okay, this is probably too obvious, so forgive me if the rest of this run-on sentence is self-evident... A DUCK!

Message to Presidential Candidates Find the nut above and eat it under the the sacred lemon tree of the Island of Ishbu (under a full moon). Do that and the election is yours.

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My 2nd Facebook App -- Perfect Match
3th day of 2008
If you are a member of Facebook, that pos site, then, today, my friend, is your lucky day. I have created my 2nd Facebook application—"Perfect Match." Check it!
If that enigmatic name isn't enough to make you go click and install the damn app, I dunno what is.

For those of you who have forgotten, my first Facebook app is "Music Like Mine." Check it!

Once you add the apps, be sure to tell all your facebook friends too, as well. Consider it a belated Christmas present... muAHhAHhAHhaHA!!!

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All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
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