MY TRANSFER WAS ACCEPTED!!!! I will be starting my new job in about 2 weeks. I will be a hostess at a Hawaiian themed restaurant in one of the resorts. The food is devine! Sweet hawaiian bread, chicken, ribs... it flippen rocks! On the contrary, there is a part of me that is a little upset. I will miss some of the cast members I currently work with. Overall, I am estatic that I will be moving to a different location :D

Gonna hang with my woman today and have another cooking adventure. I'm not quite sure what we will make on this occasion but, we always have a good time. Another friend of our may be swinging by later on. It's gonna be nice to relax with good friends after a crazy work week. Not to mention I get to spend some quality time with my babies. :) I hope they remember who I am. I've been working so much I've barely seen them this week.

By the way, Happy Mothers day to all you nutang Mommys! I hope it is a wonderful day for all of you :)

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Stop stalking my Nutang account. You know who you are.

I'm going to be working a lot this week. I've been picking up shifts like crazy. :) On the 24th of this month, Disney is going to be open for 24 hours. I specifically signed up for third shift. Some people think I'm crazy for that but, I think it will be a blast. A couple 5 hour energies and I think I will be able to pull it off. The movie Epic is coming out on the 24th as well. If I end up getting third shift I want to try and see it before I have to go into work. I'm going to play that by ear, though.

I have an old friend moving back into the area this month. I can't wait to see him :D On top of that, I have friends that are moving into the area next month. Things are going to be pretty awesome.

I took the kids and my woman to the airport yesterday. It was the first time my friend has been to the local airport. The kids always enjoy seeing the smaller airplanes take off and land. Fun times :)

I have to start getting ready for work soon. I will update whenever I can.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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A week ago today I told Tyler I wanted a divorce. He is NOT taking it well. I would say he has reached stalker status. He is emotionally unstable and constantly wants to talk to me and see me. When I'm at work he texts me nonstop asking if I'm on break because he wants to call me. He calls me the moment I'm off work. He's having these "moments" (as he calls them) every day and has to blow my phone up with messages and calls constantly. Not to mention the daily mental break downs of uncontrollable sobbing...

Ok, this is where it starts getting creepy... Tyles mom had the kids the weekend. So, Saturday night I took a sleeping pill late and decided I was going to be lazy and sleep in until whenever I felt like it. It was gonna be awesome. That night, after I managed to get tyler to stop crying and leave, I passed out. The next morning I hear my name being said softly. I open my eyes and see Tyler sitting at the edge of my bed staring at me. I shot up in a panic thinking something was wrong with the kids or something bad had happend to someone we knew. He told me everything was ok and that he had a "moment" and needed to come see me. Since I wasn't answering his calls or texts because I was sleeping, he took it upon himself to come over and wake me up in the creepiest way possible. I told him I was tired and I wanted to sleep. So he replies with "Do you want to go to breakfast with me?" I repeated to him again that I wanted to sleep longer. He said he would leave so I could sleep but, instead got up and sat on the floor next to my bed and started singing. At this point I was too awake to fall back asleep and started to get angry. He told me again he was going to leave and walked out of my room. I was relieved. Thank God.. that was creepy... I thought to myself. After a few minutes I got up and walked out of my room. to my surprise HE STILL HAD NOT FUCKING LEFT. He was standing in the living room waiting for me to get out of bed. I jumped into the shower and he finally left...

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

(Tylers buddy and I have become friends over time. We are nothing more, just friends)

I thought Tyler would be working late last night. I wanted to stop our friends house to hang for a bit before Tyler got off work. Too my surprise Tyler was slready home when I got there. After a short time of hanging out and things being akward. I set off to leave and get food or something. Tyler followed me to my car and asked if he could get in with me to talk. I agreed and so he opened the passenger door and plopped in. He started saying a bunch of nonsense and questioning me on stupid things. Most of it didn't make sense at all. I told him to get out of my car several times and he refused to. Enraged, I got out of my car and went back inside and told my friend I needed help and that he was being crazy. To my surprise Tyler ran up to the front door. I turned around and quickly walked to my car. Tyler reached out and tried to grab me. When that didn't work he bolted to my car and blocked the driver side door so I couldn't get in.
" Why are you doing this??" "You need to move."
After a few moments of that he moved and stood behind my car so I couldn't back out without running him over. Our friend was there and calmly talked him into getting out of the way and letting me leave. As I was backing out I could see tyler start sobbing again like he has done for a week.

I need to get the money to settle this divorce once and for all. I told him last night after what had happened that he needed to stay away from me for a little while and not text me unless it involves the kids.

He is freaking me out...

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My marraige has never been what it should be. Tyler has never pulled through on his word. Ever. When he saying he's going to do something, he starts but, never finishes. My marraige has been one disappointment after another. We are currently seperated because his mother couldn't deal with him anymore and we had to move out. My parents don't want him so, he's living with a friend. I've never truely been happy. Especially after everything went down with his ex and the other girls. I will never trust him again. He wants to get a house but, he's horrible with money. He has nothing saved. When I've tried to help him save money in the past he gets defensive. His famous line was "It's my money and I can do what I want with it". Through all of this I have lost hope. I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm done. Just as a I am ready to give him the news that I want to get a divorce he is suddenly making a turn aroumd. He's putting money in my savings account because he has finally realized he can't save money. His friend is going to try and set his life up for him. Now that he has his friend doing everything for him, he suddenly is looking in the right direction. He's saying and doing things that should have been done 2 years ago. Even if things do get better and we become a successful marraige, I'm not happy. I have no desire to be with him anymore. It bothers me that he has done nothing until now. Until his friend is getting things together for him. He's never accomplished anything with his life. He sits around and waits for someone to give him an opportunity. Until someone can do it for him. I appericiate what his friend is doing. He is a great friend to Tyler and to me. However, his friend shouldn't have to take care of him.

I am prepared to leave Tyler. I'm ready for this. and now that My mind is made up I feel a little happier. Seeing my life ahead and the things I want to do. I won't be tied down anymore. There isn't anyone else. No one has stolen my heart. I use to be afriad that I would never find anyone else. No one is going to want a young mother of two children. Two children by different fathers at that. I would assume a guys first thought of me would be That chick obviously doesn't have her shit together and whores around. Although that isn't the case, kids are usually an automatic turn off to most guys. But, now I'm ok with the thought of not finding anyone. I am so happy to be blessed with two beautiful and healthy babies. They are my world and I am one proud Momma. I don't need a man to complete me. It would be nice. I want a successful relationship in my life. However, I know I don't need it.

So what do I do now? Now that Tyler is happy that his friend is getting shit together for him. He quit smoking weed yesterday for the 100th time. Last time he did he lasted 2 weeks. Most of his money goes to buying weed. He smokes A LOT. Which was another thing I couldn't take anymore. But, now that he's turning everything around what am I to do? My heart isn't in it anymore. It took too long for him to get it. He text me earlier today saying that he wants us to have a house and he wants to see us every day. And, that he knows he has to do all of these things to get there. It's killing me... after all of the bullshit I've been through with him I am going to be the bad guy... I'm going to be the one to crush his dreams and leave just when things are getting better. I'm not happy. and I've decided I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. Nothing is going to change that. I love him and always will. But I am not in love with him.

I feel like such a fucking bitch...

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I keep having crazy dreams. Very violent and vivid dreams. I don't quite understand why. It wouldn't be that odd to me if it was only a couple dreams. I'm sure everyone has there share of epic action and adventure dreams. However, I've been having dreams like this every night for about a week now. From zombies, to the military, to running from the government. It's been crazy. It's kinda cool at the same time. I'm always a badass and defending my friends and family. It's like watching a mini movie play in my head. I wonder what tonights dreams have in store for me.

I put in a transfer notice yesterday. I haven't been working for Disney long enough to qualify to transfer but, I want to get my name on the list now. By the time my name comes up for a job transfer it will probably be 6 months. I'll just have to wait and see how this goes...

Our new pets, Mr. Duck and Chicky, are growing fast. I'm going to go back to the feed store tomorrow in search for a couple more friends for them.

And, I got a smoothie :D Todays flavor.. Sunrise Sunset. Strawberries, pinapple, mango, and oranges. It flippen rocks!

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Work
Work
Work
Work
Work
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Getting sick... x.x
Work
Work


Oh, and we got some Ducklings. They are adorable. We only have two because all the had were fuzzy yellow ones. Having all white ducks is boring. We're going back next week to see if the feed store has any different breeds

OH! and I had a crazy zombie dream a couple nights ago. The zombies had guns and ran really fast. It was almost like there goal wasn't to eat us but, to kill us. They wanted all of the living dead at any cost. O.O It was a very violent dream. I would go into detail but I need to do other stuff before work. PEACE OUT NUTANG!

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I have taken a liking to this place at a near by shopping area. It's called Tropical Smoothies Cafe. They make some pretty bangin' smoothies. My little man and I went there today to pick up an acia berry smoothie and I whitnessed quite a sight. While waiting for my delicious smoothie, a middle aged woman came storming back into the store with a sandwich she had ordered. She slammed the little basket of food onto the counter and told the cashier it wasn't what she had ordered. "I said no tomato or lettuce! Both of which are on my sandwich!" The young, petite, spanish woman stood there with her eyes wide open not knowing what to say. The British woman ranted on about her order being incorrect as the other employee's came out to see what all the fuss was about. She removed the top piece of bread from her sandwish and picked up a slice of tomato and then a pinch of lettuce. "I didn't want this or that! I specifically said no tomato or lettuce!!!" Everyone becomes silent and turns thier attention towards the counter. This woman was being obnoxiously rude. Her behavior was completely unnecessary. Suddenly, a middle aged american woman (who was sitting alone eating her lunch) stood up and approached the rude woman. She got in her face and calmly, yet firmly, told her off. Don't you talk to these girls that way. It was a simple mistake. Treat them like human beings and show some respect! By the way, I was standing 3 feet away from this arguement holding my son. The american woman called the rude woman a jerk and told her to go back where she came from. She stormed out and everyone cheered on the defender. I was waiting for fists to fly. Things got heated in there. I give that woman props for standing up for the workers of Tropical Smoothies Cafe. It was pretty epic. I have nothing against British people. Her being British had nothing to do with it. But, the nerve of some people! I don't understand why people have to be so rude and behave like a children.

It was pretty funny to watch it all unfold.

Anyway, today has been pretty boring other than that. I have a mountain of laundry to fold. Yay... So, off I go!

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