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—×Kuri×—[//Version: RetroRuki]

Age. 30
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location England, United Kingdom
School. Other
» More info.

2nd - First Day of Work!
3rd - Di's Bday!
4th - Xixi's Bday!
5th - Felix's Bday!
7th - Tan's Sleepover
8th - Uni Enrolment Opens
9th - CK.TW.ORG 2nd Anniversary!, Tim T's Bday!
10th - Selina's Bday!
14th - YG Social!
19th - Sylphie's Bday!
27th - Nuddle's Bday!
28th - WARWICK UNI!!!
29th - Fresher's Fortnight!


8th - Maruchan's Bday!
9th - Fresher's Ball!
12th - Evanevan's Bday!
13th - End Fresher's Fortnight :(
17th - Elliot W's Bday!
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23/06/10 09:38
I am...

feeling: Excited!!
listening to: This Is Our God - Hillsong Live

Can I say, absolute YES?!?!?!

Today I'll be taking my final exam :D My one on Monday was terrible (the conditions were terrible, so hot and stuffy in the small exam room, I had a headache and was about to faint by the end of it -- the girl next to me actually did faint just before the end of the exam), but it doesn't count towards my degree so I don't particularly care.

My one last Thursday was also terrible, though I was able to go through that one without a splitting headache. Bad times, though. That's why I really need to do well on today's to pull my grade back up, if I can...

But my brain hurts and I just can't be stuffed anymore!! :(

Man... Sigh.

I think I'll go pray some more then try to get back to revision, then do my best this afternoon! We'll see how it goes :D I hope I've retained enough stuff to write a decent amount (3 essay questions)... ><;;

On other news, what do you do when you find out in the worst possible way that one of your closest friends, someone you cared deeply for, has been bitching about you behind your back?

I'll deal with it after I finish my exam, methinks.

...ah, you really had me fooled...



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[What Does One Do...]
15/06/10 20:14
I am...

feeling: Utterly Screwed
listening to: I Pray - Stream of Praise

...when one is about to fail their exam in a couple day's time?

Why, write about how badly one will do and how much one will cry in a blog entry of course!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm going to fail... Seriously, I have no idea what came over me when I chose that module... WHY WHY WHY did I choose that module?! I must have momentarily SERIOUSLY lost my mind.

Like, worse than usual lost-my-mind... I must have had at least all my screws in my head loose to have thought I had a chance of passing it... Omw I don't understand it at all... And I even turned up to all the lectures!

I even (sorta) paid attention!! Well, I tried. One of our main lecturers couldn't speak English properly, so... I dozed off in a few of his lectures.

I'm about to cry... I WANT A 2:1!! I DON'T WANNA FAIL!! OMW!!! WHY WHY WHY!! TT_TT I'm so annoyed... I was doing pretty well on this module as well... well, I wrote an essay for it that was worth like 20% of the module and got 66% (a 2:1) for it...

But now that the exam is coming up, I'm really regretting spending the entire day reading Perfect Girl Evolution yesterday. Not that it's not an absolutely amazing manga, but srsly, bad timing...


...but if you don't want me, please let me know, don't leave me in the dark, wondering, wishing, hoping...



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10/06/10 11:52
I am...

feeling: Revived
listening to: One Day - Amy Sand

I got a rather cute forward from a friend today.

Me, being the type who hates chain mail, have often replied to them saying 'if you send me another, I will block and delete you' -- and often have done haha. I'm a bit anal like that, but I find them so pointless and useless.

I request that fwds be sent to me only if they're cute or meaningful, or would bring a smile upon my face.

This one, I just saw in my inbox. It's rather sweet... Tho I'm not even sure why I think it's sweet or like it... and it's in Chinese. But I wanna share with everyone anyway. Maybe I'll put up a translation hehe, it's been a while since I've done any translating into any language^^







三个忘记: 忘记年龄,忘记过去,忘记恩怨。

四个拥有: 无论你有多弱或多强,一定要拥有真正爱你的人,拥有知心朋友,拥有向上的事业,拥有温暖的住所。


六个不能:不能饿了才吃,不能渴了才喝,不能困了才睡,不能累了才歇,不能病了才检查,不能老了再后悔! 看到了就转发给每一个你珍惜的人。



Nahh I haven't the energy to translate all this...=_=;;

Shove it into a decent translator and it might make some sense regardless ;p

...hold my hand and don't let go, I don't want to live without you...



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[Do You Know Why...]
02/06/10 14:48
I am...

feeling: Nostalgic
listening to: All For You - Streams of Praise

...I'm blogging again on a regular basis? It's a bit strange, but actually, cos I have started up another blog elsewhere, which now makes me want to revive this one.

The thing is, I always seem to blog different things in different places; leave another part of me behind wherever I go.

For this blog, I think I just talk about random general stuff. Stuff that people here who know me and have followed my blog will know about. Like my bentos and websites.

My new one is in Chinese on a Chinese site, which is probably another reason I keep this blog alive. English is my native language; it takes so much effort to write a full blog in Chinese. But I am trying my hardest to improve; I know I will need it in future.

The thing is, I'm not even blogging in Simplified, the type that I grew up with. No, I'm trying my hardest to get used to Traditional Chinese, which means one short blog entry can (and has) taken me up to 2hrs to complete. Man, the effort.

Another thing is that very, very few people know about it, which is the way I like things.

Finally, I really want to get my website back. After my hostess just ditched the site without even giving me so much as a warning, I still haven't had the heart to get rid of the bookmark that I have for it. So, I will create a new one...

After I finish my exams, methinks. The thing is, I don't think I will use it much even if I do create it... it was really just a place to host a few things and I was beginning to update it again with a story that I was writing, but now the piece of fiction is hosted elsewhere, I am no longer being as creative as I once was, is there any point in still making a website again?

I think a blog should be enough...

But I had it for over three years; I still can't bring myself to get rid of the files I once had.

Maybe I'm too sentimental.

But enough of that, I think I best get back to studying...

...oh but your eyes... your eyes don't smile...



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[Exam in 2hrs...]
01/06/10 09:56
I am...

feeling: A Little Too Calm?
listening to: One Day - Amy Sand

...and I have yet to begin my revision...!!!?!

What am I thinking... =_=;; I'm such an idiot arrrghhh :(

Luckily it doesn't count towards my degree, I only need to pass it. And even if I don't pass it shouldn't be toooo bad cos I can just retake it after my year abroad. By then there should be no chance of failing.

But I still don't want to fail it.

Yet I think the pure mentality that I don't need to pass is getting to me and I cba to even try!! What is wrong with me!!! Seriously! I need to stop being such a lazy pig.

Well, I suppose I have somewhat revised. Watching 'Bolt' in German counts as revision, right??? At least I'm listening to some form of Deutsch. But when my examiner begins asking me about Germany's unemployment and Hartz IV Imma be completely screwed o_o;;

Bolt never talked about politics!! T^T

Oh poopey-hell.

I'm going to start revising now. Will let you guys know how (terribly) my exam went :D

Edit: Yes! It went well haha... Praising God for it!! ^^

...hold my head up high and when they tell me I can't, kick their fking asses and prove I can...



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29/05/10 13:26
I am...

feeling: Weak
listening to: At The Cross - Hillsong

This week was such elation... The completion of one of my core modules, a 30-CAT module... Man, 7000words and an Oral exam from hell, it's finally over! Then I'll have another exam on Tuesday and a break until my next exam two weeks later.

At least my exam on Tuesday doesn't count.

But I still wanna pass it; the teacher who's examining me hates my guts and thinks I'm mentally retarded... it's not like I'm going to give her the pleasure of failing me as well. No, I'll show her :)

Life is so... stressful right now. My mother's moping around a lot because my father's moved back to China and my family situation is in a bit of a mess. I wish she'd just have a little more faith that everything will be OK. But as Jonny said to me, "the night is darkest before dawn".

At some point, everything will go back to normal. That is, if I haven't broken down mentally already. I feel like I'm going crazy... with all the stress and pressure of exams, I still have to deal with the stress and pressure coming from my family situation.

I'm about to break.

My mind will snap at one point and I will go insane. I feel it; I'm already half-way there.

Siiighh... but at least all my essays are officially out of the way. All 15,500words of them. That's more than a final year dissertation. That's kinda disgusting for a second year! Aiya... I suck at essays as well... but then again, I suck at exams more.

My mind is hurting again and I know I'm no longer making any sense, but nothing makes sense to me any more. Is it supposed to? This is my own blog... I can spill out my own thoughts as much as I like without fearing judgement from others, because this is my life and this is what I am and this is a place just for me and therefore I shouldn't have to care what others think...

I am mentally drained.

23rd June, then it'll all be over. But I have to get past today first! Oh dear... Best get back to revision.

...and what's left is just an empty shell...



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