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Gimme a call
You may get confused...best not to look?
Wednesday. 4.18.07 10:37 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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up a day late.
Monday. 4.16.07
[This was supposed to be up last night. So pretend it's 12 hours ago.]

"When you think about life, you shouldn't live or die for yourself, but think about the others of your kind first." My mother said that, something to that effect, about the today's shooting and how the shooter was supposedly 'of asian descent' (quote from abc). I say 'to the effect', because it was in Chinese and that's the basic meaning of what she said. She moaned and declared, "If he's Chinese, that's going to make a lot of trouble." She's referring to the impact that fact could have on the american POV of asians in general and chinese specifically.

When I first heard her say it, I sort of froze and asked mildly, "So I shouldn't do something I like or enjoy or want because it might have a (negative) effect on 'us'?" Us, being 'us' as a race/ethnicity. She answered with, "If you're going to do something like that(in this case, suicide), you should think about others/the consequences before doing it or don't do it. Don't involve other people in it." Though I do agree with the latter, I was still a bit eyebrow-raised at the whole idea. This is one of those times that I realize that my parents and I do have different views on things. Just because they raised me and influenced me so much doesn't mean we think alike. I should know that firsthand from the obvious difference between our minds during day-to-day disputes and conversations.

Yes, it was wrong of him to go on a shooting spree. Yes, his shouldn't have been the finger on the trigger for the biggest shooting massacre in the history of our country. But he's not wrong for being upset. If he wanted to die, if he couldn't take it anymore, it's not his fault for wanting to end it. It's not wrong to be selfish and want to end the unhappiness in your life, to stop yourself from drowning and falling further. Don't blame him for what comes after. Yes, he shouldn't have turned to murder in his pain. Blame him for the deaths, blame him for that horrible massacre, but no more.

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Call me Mama
Friday. 4.13.07 7:22 pm
Hello, be respectful BOW DOWN TO ME. For I am your mother. Call me ma, sweetie, it'll make me so very happy. ^-^

I paid the phone bill last minute today. Just now in fact, a few minutes ago? Yeah. Oh, and I had to transfer funds from savings account over to checking account before that. I tranferred funds not a week ago for the electric bill--paid that, too. The rent was needed the week before that--transferred then, too.

I really shouldn't have helped her out last month when we found out it was overdrawn. Once turned into twice, thrice, frice. But I know that if I don't do it, no one will. Oh, she will, but only a week after it was due and late fees were in effect and she realizes that she realized too late.

So I brought it up over the phone when I called to say I had the bill paid. She said, "Thanks. Good girl." I said, "Either I do the bills from now on or you pay me 50 bucks for every time I paid it before and in the future." She says, "Hey, I'm your mother! How can you talk to me like that? *laugh* What, do you pay the rent? (uh, duh, I just did)" I say, "Ts. Whatever, bye." I know she's not really listening to me. She won't pay me or give me the bill-paying responsibilty/'power'.

She doesn't like that, me having 'power'. No matter what. In anything. But I'll bet that I end up paying 'em anyway. Plus all the late fees.

Ehh, whatever. That's life. Mine, anyway. ;)

the Dot

Plugs: ikimashokie, randomjunk, Katrina, renaye, invisible, The-Muffin-Man, Nuttz

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Check me out, I'm dying.
Tuesday. 4.10.07 12:02 pm
So...turns out I'm not going back today. We're going back tomorrow. Whoopee. I had seen the calendar, but the stupid idiots leave out the holidays/vacation days and so no one really knew when to go back. However, I saw that we have a thing on Wed. so I knew we had to be back then. I confirmed it with a friend. Here comes the messed up part:

She had asked several times over the course of the day about when we were going back. Sometimes I answered, sometimes I didn't. I went to the bedroom to make my call so I wouldn't have her nosey nose in my business. Friend A answered, we cleared it up, I returned to my post on the floor under my laptop. She asked again and I told her. She asked me again. "Are you sure?" I said yes, I was. I had called a friend.

She: Are you sure?
Me: I asked a friend, mom.
She: Are you sure? Who did you call? A--?
Me: No, she's not picking up the phone.
She: A--W--?
Me: Yeah.
She: Did you call Lorriane?
Me: No. I was going to save her number last time, but you didn't so I couldn't.
She: No, I did! *checks* Oh, I didn't. I only have Lorraine ---'s number.
Me: See?
She: It's okay. I can call ---------. They'll give me her number.

WTF? She didn't believe me. Like always she thought I was lying--I would skip a day of school or something. She brought up Lorraine to intimidate me. She always uses the friend card on me--people she thinks are good, proper girls who 'aren't like me'. All assumptions and oh, so wrong. You know kids are always polite and sweet in front of adults, it's respect. It doesn't mean they're the best fricken people on the fricken planet.

Lorraine--She hadn't seen her for years, whom I hadn't seen for years, either. Suddenly, I see her in the hallway (before break) and my ma's back to 'using her'. Like I would turn tail and run and spill my guts because you're going to call her. F**kin' B*tch.

I'm so fricken sick of it. I hate it. And she thinks I don't realize it, I don't know what she's doing. I'm much more intuitive and mature than she thinks I am. And I've been this way for years.

Remember Pride and Prejudice? The scene where Lady Catherine and Elizabeth Bennet meet for the first time. Lady Catherine makes a comment to the effect of, "You're quite set in your ways for a young lady your age." I feel I am much like Elizabeth in that way. Goodness knows I haven't changed, I've been like this since before I can remember. Perhaps 12 years old, if not before.

*sigh* I don't want to deal with this anymore. I'm going to bed.

I WISH! We're going to continue household chores today, clean up, maybe go out to lunch, come back, then wait for tomorrow to come and kill me.

Have a good day. Ta-ta!
the Dot

Plugs: frostbitten, ikimashokie, Katrina

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Monday. 4.9.07 7:02 am
I woke up before dawn today feeling absolutely wretched with a horrible painful scratchiness to my throat. Surprisingly, I can still speak. I thought I was out of the danger zone, but I guess I better take some precautionary measures, just in case. More water, vitamin C (Halls Defense), fruits, soup, nothing fried/anything 'with heat'.

I'm feeling a bit cold so I'm wrapped up in my blankie, but I'm not sure if that's just the early morning. I might go to the doctor later today, I'll have to call my gran to get her to go with me. I'd rather go alone so I don't bother anybody or whatnot, but I can't, stupid 18 and older policy--pediatrician, btw.

Ugh. *squirm* Now I have a tummy-ache, too. ={ Hellllp! Waaaah! TT.TT


--Check out reading room. Wanted ya'll to tell me what you think. Doesn't 'Untitled' sound like a children's book? Yes, it does. I'm not feeling that much better...okay, a little, but that's like comparing an in. to a mm. >.> I wanna say good-night, but I'll say good day instead. So...

Good day! ^-^

Plugs: ikimashokie, Katrina, LostSoul13, kKaMA67

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Do you believe?
Sunday. 4.8.07 12:31 am
I thought up this entry earlier today on the way to class. Most of my ideas are thought up this way, when my feet are set in a direction and my mind flies away.

Do you believe? Do you believe the stories in books? Fantastic scenes from far away places, realms that may or may not exist, dreams that may never come true as much as you hope, people--creatures that live in them. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, mermaids. Thumbalina, Edward Cullen, Turquoise Draka, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Oh, and below is a piece that I'm thinking of using in my next layout. Tell me what you think. ^-^

in the myst by ~evil-bunny on deviantART

BTW: The piece has nothing to do with the topic above it. I just thought it would be easier to mention them together, given my awe-some memory and the similarities between the two.

So, do you believe?

Plugs: frostbitten, ikimashokie, Dilated, Katrina

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Saturday. 4.7.07 10:37 am
This is what I wanna do:

Snuggle away!

But...I cannot. I must make like the Roadrunner and run. Bye-bye!

Plugs: Dilated, LostSoul13

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Friday. 4.6.07 8:18 pm
did anyone read the two newest additions to my Reading room?

One is a piece named 'Untitled' and the other is the Beatles' 'I'm so tired' lyrics. The latter is sort of tied into my 'Something I wrote...' entry. I'm not giving you a link to it. Click it from the mods on your left. =P

I am bored, tired...strangely energetic and lethargic at the same time. I want to do something, something interesting yet I don't feel like it. That is, I want to...but I don't. >.> Heh.

Okay, this is a boring entry so I'll leave it here. Peace!
the Dot

p.s. Kudos to dear, dear randomjunk for being the only one to comment my prev. entry. ^-^

Plugs: randomjunk

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