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Only me
Friday. 10.17.14 10:53 pm
I bruise my hand, somehow, during CPR class this morning. I mean, I had the correct hand position and I was applying the correct amount of pressure. Apparently the way my left hand was leaning just right on the back of my right hand was too much for the tissue and tendons underneath, or whatever it is that got bruised. I can see that there's a small spot that's slightly swollen and it's tender to the touch. This is one of those situations where someone would say "only you ..."

The class got out early and it was nice because traffic on the freeway hadn't gotten bad yet so I was still able to get home in under 30 minutes. Without traffic, the commute is about 20 min, give or take, depending on how fast the flow of traffic is going. With traffic, it could take me anywhere from 30-50+ minutes to get from point A to point B.

I was going to take a nap when I got home, but I met up with my friend for lunch. We got pizza to go and went back to her place to watch TV. We watched The Young Doctor's Notebook and Other Short Stories and Forever. It was a really nice way to spend the day. The rain being back definitely added to it.

Sleeping in and laundry for tomorrow morning's plans then I'm meeting up with another friend of mine to get in some puppy time and help him go shopping for a ring for his girlfriend. Her tastes are pretty much the opposite of mine so if I think it looks gaudy and horrible, she'd probably love it. I'm most likely going to get in a little shopping of my own while I'm out. After that, I have some tentative plans, but I haven't heard anything back about it yet. It can't be too late, though; I do have work Sunday morning.

So this is definitely a full weekend for me. A non-stressful one, but a full one nonetheless. Next weekend there might be some plans, but they're just an idea right now and could turn in to nothing. It'll depend on the circumstances. I'm cool with going out or staying in. The weekend after I have plans and I'm pretty damn excited. It'll be a fun, new experience and I can't wait!

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Encryption number 2549
Thursday. 10.16.14 6:41 pm
I feel like I've had something rather cryptic in some of the recent entries and this one will not be exempt. I've come to the realization that there's something I'd do again in close to a heartbeat. The circumstances would have to be just right in order for it to happen, but I would definitely let it happen. Oh, the things you think about when you take an extra long shower. Sometimes it allows you to clear your thoughts almost as well as when you exercise.

My trip to the eye doc today was hopefully enough to make it my last trip for a problem. The doctor did some tests to eliminate the problem as being a prescription issue and making absolute sure it was a measurement/alignment issue. Hopefully by next weekend I'll be using my new glasses. Luckily everyone there is really nice, except the one guy who's older; he's kind of a prick, but I didn't have to deal with him today so it wasn't a horrible experience.

When I left the eye place, I knew that I wasn't going to be taking the freeway home because I saw how shit the traffic was coming southbound. Instead, I wanted to see where the Ballard Market was located, you know, for future reference. I missed the exit that I needed to take, though, so I ended up getting lost in Queen Anne. Luckily I knew which direction I needed to be heading in {thank you Seattle landmarks} so I didn't have to worry about doubling back or getting turned around. It did take me a bit longer to get home than I anticipated, but it was still probably faster than the freeway. And it was a nice little scenic adventure.

I have to be up much earlier than I want to be for my day off tomorrow, but I have CPR class that is required for my job. It'll be one of those things where the alarm will go off, I'll get up, throw on the comfiest clothes I can find {yoga pants and a tank top,} toss on a jacket and flip flops and head out the door. That time of morning, it'll take me no more than 20 minutes to get to where I need to go. Coming home, however, will be a hit or miss when it comes to traffic.

After the class, I've been trying to convince myself all week that I want to go for a walk around Lake Union. There's a 6.2 mile path that goes around the entire perimeter, but I have to really be committed to this in order to accomplish the entire thing in one go. It would probably take me a good 2 hours. I have some errands to run afterward; things to search for and purchase. I'm hoping to accomplish that all in one go. We'll see what happens. Knowing me, I'll end up just coming home after class and going back to bed.

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It's fine, I'll just do it myself.
Wednesday. 10.15.14 9:28 pm
Today was one of those days where, after asking the person who's job it was to do something, I'd end up just doing it myself because it was easier than trying to get them to understand. It would have been easier to teach calculus to a rat.

I feel like I should explore the Ballard area more so that I can see what else is beyond the eye place. I have to go back there, again, tomorrow. The doc wants to do some additional testing just to ensure that everything was set up properly. Hopefully this will be enough to fix the issue and when I go pick up the glasses, it'll be the final time I'm in that area until April.

The weather was finally the kind of PNW weather I moved up here for. Cool, rainy and generally miserable. I'm glad the sun waited to make itself known until I got home and didn't have to be out in it.

I was going to clean this weekend, but I've since made plans so I guess it'll wait until next weekend. I have to purge my things; there's a lot of stuff I need to get rid of. It'll be an all day ordeal, if not two. I may live in a small space, but you'd be amazed at how much can accumulate over a length of time.

By the end of the month I'd like to have my place move-ready.

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Tuesday. 10.14.14 6:21 pm
I'm feeling rather antisocial today and the reasoning behind it is rather childish. It's kind of along those lines of when someone goes "if I can't have something, then no one can." We'll leave it at that.

The weather has finally affected the tire pressure monitoring system in my car. I drove it up to the tire place and had the guy put air in them, but the light didn't go off on the way home. If it's still on when I'm leaving work tomorrow, I'll stop at the gas station and put air in the tires myself. I was hoping to avoid having to do so by driving to the 'professionals,' but apparently my car would rather me use up quarters.

After I left there, I headed back to the eye place and explained the problem I was having with the newly replaced lenses. The lady took both pairs of glasses and compared the two, then measured something with my eyes and it was determined that the current glasses have the lens just slightly off center, while the new ones were exactly centered. Since I've gotten so used to having them off by a couple millimeters, she said that she would let the lab know to put the lenses in for the exact same measurements as my current ones, so that my eyes should be able to focus as they're used to. And so I wait another week. Or so.

My 4 year anniversary in Seattle is next week and I want to do something for it. Some kind of celebratory type of thing. It's something I'll most undoubtedly be doing on my own, since it's in the middle of the week, but I wouldn't mind having company for the celebration. I guess we'll see what happens.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be acting less childish, but this is the kind of tantrum that doesn't always go away quickly. When a child throws a tantrum, people just write it off as it being an annoying child. You throw a tantrum as an adult and people question your sanity and mental health.

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Rejection: number 17
Monday. 10.13.14 4:20 pm
I'm not actually keeping track of how many times shit has gone south over the last few months, but 17 is a good number. It's entirely randomly chosen.

I didn't get the position that I interviewed for. I'm more upset by the fact that I have to deal with the rejection of it, adding it to the ever-growing list of things that haven't worked out, than I am about actually not getting the position. I wasn't terribly interested in getting it to begin with, mostly due to the hours, but I was really hoping it would be my ticket out of where I'm at. Going in to a job that I don't want to do would be counterproductive anyway. There'll be a spot opening up at another facility soon, but I want to be there about as much as I want to be where I currently am so going for that would be along the same lines as why I originally tried for the position I was turned down from.

My response to this rejection was to blow up my friends phones by telling them that I'm doomed to be stuck at the place I'm at ... forever. With a corresponding crying face. I stayed quiet the rest of the shift and avoided any kind of social situation. It's probably a good thing I didn't tell anyone in my own department that I was trying to leave. At least everyone else I told will just encourage me to keep trying. I put in 7 more applications this morning. Four of them are all in the same building, but since there were different job numbers, why the fuck not? Can't hurt. Worst that could happen is that the number in the title goes up to the 20s or 30s.

I made two phone calls when I got home from work. I have an appointment set up to get my back fixed, finally. It's still not for some time, but the fact that I have an appointment set up and a design being worked on, I'm stoked. It's been messed up for 8 years and to know that I'll finally have a reputable artist fixing it is awesome. Plus, more ink. What other reason do I need? Duh!

The other is an appointment to meet with a therapist. I'd been thinking about going back, but kept putting it off. I put it off the week before my birthday and it didn't happen last week either so with the negativity that occurred this morning, I knew it was time to finally make that phone call. I actually called a different guy from the one I was originally going to call. I looked at his information again and something told me not to call that guy. So I went with another one who's 'about me' section got my attention. We'll see how the first meet goes. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character when I first meet someone. Every once in a while I'm wrong, but not often. My sister is the same way.

I don't know why I keep getting turned down for positions that I'm applying/interviewing for. Something has to give at some point, right? Where the fuck is the open door that I'm supposed to go through? Hell, I'll take a fucking window at this point. Something open that I can go through and come out on the other side as a success story. I deserve something to go right in my life, dammit.

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Sunday. 10.12.14 4:24 pm
I admit, I did got caught up in the hype of the Seahawks' winning streak last year, all the way up until the point at which they won the Super Bowl. I said it was hard not to, being so close to the stadiums and all. I think I was just looking for an excuse to tell people who have known me the entire 4 years I've lived here and know that I'm definitely not in to sports. I was also working at Sam's Club then and people would come in and the excitement was contagious.

Today, hearing the crowd roar ebb and flow with each play against the Cowboys just annoys the hell out of me. This is the first home game of the season that I've been home the entire time and I, unfortunately, wasn't able to stay asleep long enough for the game to be over. This year, I absolutely refuse to get caught up in the hype. I don't give a fuck how well they're doing or who they've beaten or any of it. I'm not in to sports; I never have been and if I couldn't have my mind swayed with last year's spectacle, nothing is going to make me 'come around.'

If my future significant other is in to sports, he can keep it. I'll find other things to do on game day. I may participate in some activities, if asked, but I'm not going to pretend that I'm in to something I'm not.

Anywho, I'm back to wearing my old glasses for now. The eye place is closed today and tomorrow so I have to wait until Tuesday before I can bring them back. They're going to get really sick of dealing with me, but hey, I need glasses that don't make me dizzy and disorient me. Which is exactly what happened to me today. I'm not supposed to leave work while I'm on the clock, but I was starting to walk around without them because it was less disorienting to see everything in a blur. If I looked through one lens at a time, it was fine, but both together fucked with me too much. One of the ladies joked and told me to get an eye patch, turn myself in to a pirate for the day. When I go in there on Tuesday, I'm going to see about scheduling an appointment to get fitted for contacts. Hopefully those don't get fucked up the same as the glasses.

I'm already halfway through season 1 of The Blacklist so there's no way that I'm going to to still have that to keep me entertained throughout the rest of this week. I know that season 2 is on Hulu, but I'd still need something to fill in the in between times. New episodes only air once a week.

Any suggestions?

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