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Picking up the slack
Tuesday. 11.4.14 6:23 pm
I didn't go jogging today. I must have pulled a muscle on my Greenlake outing because my right leg, down by my ankle, is still sore. It hurt more yesterday, though, so hopefully tomorrow it'll be better enough that I can make up for not going out today. It sucks because it didn't actually rain today so I was looking forward to not getting wet. However, I'd rather not mess up my leg more than necessary. Until I'm able to do a full 3 miles in my interval training, I think I'll save the 3 mile, once-around, paths to when I can get it all done with during the training. The extra mile after jogging through was probably what pushed my leg past the endurance point.

The last couple days I've been purposely avoiding doing a specific thing. It's something that I should have stopped doing a couple months ago, but it became a rather toxic habit. It started to lead down a very dangerous path, on an emotional level. So I cut out the habit. The resistance level wasn't too bad yesterday, despite an unforeseen circumstance, and it was actually easier yet to avoid doing today. However, I took a nap and had a dream doing the very action I've been doing so well at avoiding. Thank you, subconscious, for picking up the slack. <~~~ sarcasm, if you didn't catch that.

I have absolutely no plans for this weekend. I feel like I'm supposed to have plans, that I made some that I'm forgetting about, but absolutely nothing is coming to mind. So I'm making the plan right now to clean. And I mean seriously clean, to the move-ready level that I've been wanting for the past month.

Hopefully my mind behaves itself tonight and I don't have tripped out dreams again.

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Lunar bound
Monday. 11.3.14 6:06 pm
Did you guys read that China sent a probe to the moon? I, for one, think that this is awesome because well ... I can see the moon from here. As awesome and exciting and fascinating as it is that we have a rover on Mars, I can't see Mars the way I can see the moon. It's the first lunar mission to be completed since the 70s and, despite the fact that it's not the US completing this project, it's still very cool.

Also, there was an article that had a 'robochick' wheeled in to a colony of emperor penguins so that their heart rates could be monitored. It was disguised as a fluffy baby and all the other babies would crowd around it to help keep it warm. They didn't even seem to care that there were wheels. It's adorable.

Work wasn't horrible; it was just the same shit on a different day. Well, mostly the same shit. There was a crazy guy that started out in the pharmacy, ranting and throwing punches at nothing in particular. He then made his way outside, stole a chair from the cafe, and broke two windows in a parking pay booth, attacked himself and a car with a brick and just was generally destructive. It took at least 7 cops to hold this guy down. Don't do drugs, kids.

Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week, but it does signify that I'm halfway through so I guess it shouldn't be frowned on too much. Knowing that I'll be jogging after work is actually helping me not hate it so much because it gives me something to look forward to. I just have to figure out where I want to go this time. I like that I change it up every time because it allows for a change in pace and scenery. Hmm... I wonder what the parking situation looks like at the Arboretum. I read they have a path there...

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Stick with it.
Sunday. 11.2.14 6:00 pm
Cutting out an addiction is much more challenging than forming a new one. Well, at least it certainly feels that way.

Week 2 of the interval jogging started today and I kicked it off at Greenlake Park. Going on a typical rainy Seattle Sunday afternoon meant that there weren't many people there. It might have also had something to do with the fact that the Seahawks were playing here at home against the Raiders {who still have yet to win a game this season.} Let's just say it was nice not having to weave in and out of a lot of people. If the weather continues to be like this, I may go to Greenlake more often.

The difficult part of adjusting to the time change is the fact that it gets dark much earlier, sort of all of a sudden, so you think it's still later than it is. It'll probably take me a couple more days to adjust fully, but I like when it gets dark early. This also means that I'll be forced to jog immediately after work, rather than napping first because I'll run out of daylight. The first obstacle will probably be next week, when the program starts introducing longer jogging intervals. I have yet to make it past week 5 day 1. I'm determined to do so this time around though.

I don't think I'll be going back to this therapist. He emailed me asking if we could push out our appointment time tomorrow to a time later than I'm willing to go out. If he's unable to regularly schedule me for an earlier time, then I'll look elsewhere. I had already told him what the latest I was willing to be out was; it's not my problem that that can't work for him. I'm not going to always worry as to when the appointment will be and if he's going to want to change it last minute. He introduced me to the book that I've been reading and it's actually helping me. It's also opened me up to other options in the same subject so now I know what to look for. Perhaps if I find myself falling in to another downward spiral sometime in the future, I'll look back in to therapy; with someone more reliable.

Until then, I continue reading and interval training, blogging and doing things that I want to do. For me.

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Something's different.
Saturday. 11.1.14 11:52 am
I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that this is the 1st of a different month, but I woke up this morning feeling like something had changed. Something definitely feels different and I have no idea what. It isn't necessarily a good or bad feeling; it's just a feeling. I haven't had this feeling in a while, this vibe, so I'm really not sure what to make of it.

The party last night was fun. It didn't really have much of a party atmosphere, but more that of a get-together. People kind of showed up sparingly and brought food and booze. They hung out for a bit and left, then another small group would arrive with the same intentions, with a few overlaps. The decorations are much more impressive in person than in pictures, so if you're looking at them on my Facebook page, just know the pictures don't do them justice. Some of them didn't turn out very well simply because I am still using my phone camera so the quality for night pictures drops quite a bit. Eventually I'll get a more professional camera.

I left around midnight. The drive out there wasn't too bad, but I did hit the evening commuter traffic in some spots. Let's just say 5pm was a bad time to want to take the 90 to 405 Southbound. I hit another patch of slow traffic in Issaquah, but after that it was clear. Coming home was really nice because it was dark and there were hardly any drivers on the road. Even coming back in to Seattle, the vehicles on the freeway were at a minimum. Driving at those speeds, in the dark, with it raining, kind of reminded me of the one time I took my car up over 100mph. I was tempted to do so again, but there were other cars on the road. The one night in Vegas, no one else was around for miles.

I'm curious to see what this vibe turns out to be that's got a hold of me today. For all I know, it could turn out to be nothing. However, this weird sense that my sister and mom both have as well, the feelings {intuition, as some like to call it} like this usually turn out to be something. I guess only time will tell...

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Success! Well, sort of.
Friday. 10.31.14 1:57 pm
I have all the components of my Daria costume. The final piece that I was missing was the skirt and that was a journey in and of itself. I thought the shoes would be the hardest thing to find, but that was actually the first part I was able to get. The jacket was simple enough; I just bought a dark green fleece from Target. It's not the exact style, but it gets the point across. The orange shirt was also easy enough. I had to choose between short sleeve, long sleeve, tank or cami and since I wear mostly tanks, I went with that. The skirt, I found multiple ones with the right style, but the wrong color. Apparently black only seems to be made in "professional" style or mini-skirt style. It's also not exact, but it's the closest I could find that was solid black.

Despite the fact that I've been excited about this party for a month and I went to some lengths to find all the components required, I'm suddenly not interested in going. I'd rather just hang out in my pajamas and watch Netflix all night. Just like with the pumpkin carving party, I'm really not wanting to go anymore. This happens to me quite often, actually. I'll make plans with someone and when the time comes, I want to do whatever I can to get out of it. A part of me actually hopes that the person cancels and I'll feign disappointment when in reality, I'm rejoicing that I didn't have to be the one to bail.

I know I'll probably have a good time tonight, but I may keep my alcohol intake to a minimum just so that I can dip out early, if need be. I won't mind the drive in the middle of the night.

I guess tomorrow's entry will be the tell all.

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From drizzle to blind in 30 seconds.
Thursday. 10.30.14 8:02 pm
I got home from work and laid down for a nap. It took me longer than I anticipated to fall asleep because I completely forgot that I had a bill to pay and it takes two days for it to process and it needs to be paid by the end of each month. So that got my brain active again so it took a bit before I was able to doze off. Thanks to this, I woke up about an hour later than I wanted so I didn't get the chance to go to the park that I wanted. Instead, I'll save that for Saturday or Sunday, whichever day I go jogging next.

I did still go, however, I went to a park closer to work and just looped through it twice. When I drove there, it wasn't raining. When I parked my car, it had started to drizzle a little bit. By the time the first minute of my warm up was complete, I was soaked. The sudden rain came out of nowhere and it was actually easier to see without my glasses on than it was with them due to all the rain drops on the lenses. It was kind of ridiculous. The rain did eventually slow, but I jogged through it and felt better afterward. My pace increased from Tuesday, even with the hills. I know it'll slow down again next week because the time will be longer so I'll have to pace myself, but as I go through the weeks, the pace will naturally increase as I get stronger.

I'm not sure how early I'll be going out tomorrow, but I want to be able to find what I need and still have enough time to come home and do laundry before I head to the party. I'd rather not have to do it on Saturday, despite the fact that that's when I normally do it. I probably won't stay at her place too long Saturday; I'm more or less crashing there just so that I can drink and not have to worry about driving home. I will probably need most of Saturday to recover from partying, though, thanks to how my body has reacted recently to alcohol intake.

Despite all the other times that I've gone jogging, this time feels different. I feel much more positive about it this time. And I honestly think that it's because I'm doing it alone. We'll revisit how I'm feeling about it in a few weeks, see if it's the same or has changed at all.

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