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back to that spot where I forgot to carry the one
Thursday. 8.24.12 12:48 am

Helloooo! No more password-protected entries, and I'll get back to everyone ASAP, I just don't want these entries halting my progress on writing about COOLER, LESS STUPID THINGS!

First of all, this new house is amazing. I look out the kitchen window and see my shirtless neighbors ironing their slacks and doing other manly things like making tea in a kitchen decorated with a TMNT poster. My upstairs neighbor plays the blues guitar and is actually really good at it, so I sometimes listen to him when I'm trying to get a quick afternoon nap. The windows are tall and start at the ceilings, and the wood floors have a distinct tilt to them that comes with the age of the house. I can navigate it in the dark, already, just from the way the floor tilts and the floorboards creak.

Everything is peaceful and far from campus. Outside, I can hear the steady flow of traffic and the palmetto trees that scrape against my windows, a bit. When it rains, our whole street floods, and it's kind of fun to sit at my window and watch nervous drivers splash around in the calf-deep water.

My classes are going fine, too. Wednesday was my first experience having a split day; I went to class in the morning till eleven, then went home, had lunch and siesta, and then worked a quick shift and had class from four to eight thirty. It was weird, but SO nice. I had plenty of time during the day to eat properly, rest up, and visit with friends. What a delicious life I'm living.

Also, I'm joining rugby. I may not be able to jump up high enough to grab a frisbee out of the air, but I can certainly take someone down to prevent them from ever throwing it in the first place. Ultimate was never my calling. No-contact was never my calling.

Speaking of no-contact not being my calling...

I told Mike that I'd never gone back and dated an ex after breaking up. Usually, it would be a breakup, then a second shot at the relationship, if anything. None of this dating stuff. Naturally, that approach didn't work, but I told him that I didn't really know what I was doing, with this more subtle approach, either.

[Mike] 1:38am
it's like when you make a math error in the middle of a problem.
you just gotta go back, fix the error, and rework the steps


We're seeing each other this weekend, and I'm very, very excited. Because I like him. Because he's attractive. Because he gets it.

Because he uses a math analogy to explain our relationship, which is something I not only WOULD do, but HAVE done.

I know my whole romantic life is a big, stupid roller coaster. I look at it from an outside perspective and become fully aware of how silly and petty my situations tend to be. I dig my own grave, you know?

If I'm going to be six feet under, though, this is the way to go. Aside from the occasional night spent on the floor barfing all my feelings, my romantic life is...well. It's freakin' fun.

Anyway, it's nice to have trivial problems feel large and terrible. I would prefer that to having actual, heavy issues currently pressing on me. I do have more uncomfortable and stressful things going on in my life, but that's all behind closed doors, and, frankly, it doesn't occur to me to think on them too often. They can't be changed, and no amount of brooding will help.

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okay one more pp. if you know it, go for it.
Thursday. 8.23.12 12:33 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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The Monster Emerges
Tuesday. 8.14.12 8:16 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Sunday. 8.5.12 9:56 pm
I'll try really hard to respond to everyone in the near future--it's too annoying, on my phone.

And I am currently using my phone.

For everything.

Things have gone back to normal. I think I went temporarily insane because, FYI, the future is terrifying, and letting go of comfort blankets is also really scary. So there I was, trying to deal with all of that and not being able to talk to anyone about why it was so hard...mostly because I sometimes feel really, really judged by my friends, as far as my decisions go. And, hey, sure, it's smart to mention when something sounds like a bad idea, BUT LEAVE IT AT THAT! It just plain does not help to keep being upset about someone else's decision. Let people make mistakes--they educate us better than a disapproving glance ever could.

-takes a breath-

I moved into the new house with yourcupoftea. My room is super adorable and has a great claw foot tub in the adjacent bathroom. Mike helped me build a bunch of my furniture, which definitely made for some excellent bonding time. It had been three weeks since we'd last seen one another; I'd forgotten how he looks at me. yourcupoftea brought me dinner because I was super pissy and tired, and I ate that while Mike hammered nails. He told me I was very helpful, so GOLD STAR FOR ME.

It is really good to be back. I'm so ready to see all my friends and start in on this school year.

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