I was in training today, topic was interview skills. I was asked to answer a question amongst my 15 workmates who were a part of the audience and I just felt my face flush a bright RED! It may have been pink, but I am sure everyone noticed. I am not good at letting my voice being heard to more than 10 people. I can speak within a small grp, such as in an interview with a panel of 3 ppl. But in class I just go hot, flustered and red! It's so embarassing, and whateva I say is gibberish! :/ I hate being like that, even though I am confident on my own. I just dont like public speaking!

I was going to try for a competition on the weekend, girls modelling and representing youth and fighting for enviro issues. But it was till I found out I had to say a speech I dont want to do it anymore! :( If only I didnt feel this way I could do a lot of things, but it is my fear. In psychology I learnt that most of the time your nervousity doesnt show even though you feel it, to the audience you look confident. I dont believe that! I still advocate for the environment though, but not through speech. Hehehe..which is not helpful!

Ive been working overtime this week and it has been full-on! Earning extra cash but working 12 hours..makes you feel so dead! I have another session tm..cant wait for the weekend. :) But I dont think I will do it...i dont like strutting in a bikini to prove that I am fighting for the environment..

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Life is soooo smooth at the moment...it couldnt be any more simplier...and lovely. :) I had a great week at work, no big dramas, except when we had the bomb scare. hehe. It didnt worry me...I knew it was nothing. But we were told to go home early which was what I needed. Cruisy when it came to fri, had to work over time till 8:30pm but it was no biggie cuz I got to see my boo after. Cuz he was working in the city late too...

It's nice to finally not stress so much about things. I'm glad I can hang out with my work colleagues and be informal and be myself. I like hanging at F's house cuz his bros and parents are so nice to me. I could really get too comfortable being with my bf. :) Plus my grades this sem for uni was better than expected, I got a distinction in my Industrial Relations subject - which I thought it would be my worse!

I think I will take 3 units this sem, even though I am overloading myself! ;) And It is finally nice and easy to talk to my friends openly about subjects when we used to be sooo polite and shy about it. It has made me feel closer to them. Hung out at Jason's house on friday night till 1am just laughing bout stupid stuff. Then Michelle's 21st on sat, all the girls in party dresses and the boys dressed up so smart. The champayne, beer, wine was flowing freely! :p It was fun, everyone was dancing, laughing, screaming..I lost my voice in the end! Didnt get home till 3am, but it was cool...reminded me a bit of yr12 ball...hehehe, cuz it was pretty formal for a bday party - it was at a golf club!

Buggered but glad I have the monday off to recover~ PHEW! I dunno how the rest are coping hehe. Pics coming soon!! Hope youse all havn an awesome weekend.

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From Left: Michelle, Heidi, Me, June, Gail & Melissa

Yea...I'm just having a quiet night tonight. Nothing big cuz I'm just too tired from work to do anything. Plus it is 4 degs outside, and who would be crazy enough to leave the house? I'm just plain lazy maybe...hehehe. I cant go out 2 nights in a row cuz my body is starting to feel it. My colleague at work was surprised at me complaining about being old...haha.. but i guess work is hard. It was an ok week, had training on 'positive workplaces', which was interesting to learn about, work should not only be about work but about fun cuz it takes up almost a third of your life. I say work in place where you love to be everyday and dont dread waking up in the mornings :)

I put up a pic from the Nic's and June's 21st bday party last weekend, those are my girlies. :) So glad to have them. I cant believe I can smile so much after a cry. hehe. Guess my friends did a great job picking my spirits up. God I look pale though after a cry...hehe

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mood: alright


Sometimes I find it so annoying being a girl, because I am sooo emotional! I know I can control my emotions but there are times that they just overcome you and before you know it you are crying about absolutely nothing... my friends and I had this discussion at Nic's and June's 21st bday party. We just cry to pour out our stress I think. Because that is the only time I cry...either when I am frustrated or stressed. I dont think I cry when I am sad...only when I am disturbingly sad (but that is rarely the case).

Being a girl is TOUGH! People when they see you crying, think you are a sook, a whinger, a spoilt brat...but what it really is, is when the girl can no longer keep up her smiles and sunshine. No one can be smiling forever right? That would mean you are a statue with no heart, mind or feelings.

That time when I was speaking with my friends I started crying...how weird! I couldnt control it and the rest of the evening was such a downer! I guess I had to relax my face for a while. hehe. But when you cry it actually means your facial muscles are squeezing together and then it produces tears, cuz it pushes against your tear ducts! That's why being really happy and cracking up your face causes you to cry! hehehe :) I would rather cry that way than the other. But it seems crying is so normal now... as pathetic as that sounds!

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I was nervous moving back to the other house by myself, as I have been so
use to being with my parents and hanging out with them.Staying at the other
house for 2 nights I was annoyed at first, but now I feel really glad I did
move, so I can get good sleep hehe. At my parents house it is always sooo
noisy! Plus living on my own makes me feel more independent and more of the
adult I should be. I am sharing with girls and one of them cannot speak
English and I cannot speak Mandarin, so dunno how it is going to work out.
But I like the arrangement, just girls.

So many parties happening lately, and I have not really been in the mood.
Cuz all these uni students out partying and relaxing, sleeping in and I
cannot do that! At parties and clubs I'm such a bore, I just get moody from
the start cuz I do not feel the same excitement when I used to go. I think
I should find a new entertainment. At the moment though it has been café
hopping and restaurants which is making me a big piggy! I want to try
karaoke but no one is daring enough to try with me. What else is good fun
to do?

At work today I heard the big man speak, the secretary of Australia's DIMIA
Bill Farmer. He was making me sleepy and my eyes kept shutting. Not to be
rude but the room he was speaking in has that effect on people. He had a
lot to say about the dept, and how we are moving towards a more efficient,
positive approach to doing things. It eased my heart cuz at one pt I was a
bit ashamed for working there, I realise we help a lot of people, more so
than destroy their lives. So the media can say all they want. Plus I am
getting along with my colleagues better, more comfortable and not so
formal. I would like friends rather than workmates :)

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