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Mini Me Mod


jinyu
Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity.
Location Denver, CO
School. Other
» More info.
Sprocket's Training Milestones
Came home (Aug 2, 2014)
Asked to go outside (Aug 5, 2014)
Slept 4 hours straight (night) (Aug 5-6, 2014)
Crane Count
7/3/13 - 8
7/4/13 - 30
7/5/13 - 36
7/10/13 - 54
7/11/13 - 57
7/18/13 - 67
2/17/14 - 83
(cumulative)
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Moon Mod!
CURRENT MOON
To Read:
- Carrie
- Dream of the Red Chamber
- Time to Kill
- Scent of the Missing
- Stiff
Nano mod!
Good Manners
Saturday. 10.23.10 11:52 pm
This is a really neat video..

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What we want and what we need.
Monday. 10.18.10 9:03 am
This morning, I decided to try a new coffee. Sick of constantly saying, �No, I don�t drink coffee,� and then having to explain this unusual facet of my personality, I decided that it was not really worth it and set out to find a favorite drink. Currently, it is a caramel macchiato. However, I have been kind of annoyed at the cost of my favorite sugar filled wonder and so I decided to pick something a little lower down the menu, �vanilla latte� to be precise.

It was awful.

The beautiful little coffee shop that I have been frequenting because of its fine macchiato, cheaper prices and nice staff, was surprisingly lacking at 9:35 as I waited for my coffee. They did not understand that I wanted not a vanilla latte hot and instead tried to make just a latte iced, which I have never understood. Why would you want your latte iced, if you could just let it go cold and drink it then? Anyhow, I pitched as little fit as I could and received another one; hot� no syrup� which was probably my fault.

It was that and the fact that I had not really gotten that much sleep the night before and the fact that I tripped over my own feet� again, and falling halfway down the stairs, that lead me to a general resentful feeling for the remainder of the morning, which I did not like. I went home for lunch and on the way back had this conversation with myself:

�Well, assuming that the book your just read was correct, we can assume that we can just change your attitude.�
�Gggerl, just shut up.�
�Come on, Jin-�
�Look, I had a legitimately bad morning! I didn�t sleep last night, my coffee was terrible, I tripped down the stairs and I still have this horrible cough.�
�Well, according to our mood tracker, one tiny thing can change your mood at any point during the day, so it is just as reasonable to believe that something good could come up in the end half of the day to rectify the rest of it.�
�Fine,� I replied, �But for just a moment, I want to be miserable.�
So it was that I was miserable for about fifteen seconds and then let it go.

The second half of the day was based around the theme of �what we need� and �what we want�. For instance, I did not need a decent coffee this morning, I simply wanted it. However, I did need to breath in air and I enjoyed that very much when not impeded by my hacking cough.

It was a great question for class, though. Each class threw in their own tidbits from air, shelter and water to family and friends. With my oldest class, I had them erase one thing from their need list until they only had one thing left. The cars and the houses were the first things to go, then the clothes. Surprisingly, I think the food went after that. They cut out friends before family and we ended up cutting out family before we cut out our own hands. In the end, we lobbed off the hands and the halves of both our brains and our hearts before we finally got rid of water and air, which we decided pretty much killed us off.

And that was when I met Hko Sook, a very pleasant young man recently graduated from High School with his GED. I was headed back from a pleasant dinner date with my friend Lena, who is being decent enough to teach me Korean and answer all my weird-ass questions about what Korean L337 it like (and buying some fantastic new track pants, by the by) when I realized, yet again, that I was lost.

�Schlejiman,� I asked diffidently to the friendliest stranger I could spot.
�Yes?� he said in surprised but perfectly accented English.
I was equally confused. My brain was processing Korean, right then and I was not really prepared for that, �Jihachoal, odi-e-o?�
�The subway? Well, its right up here,� he said.

We got a good conversation going about how he grew up in New Zealand and how now he was working for Burger King and applying to colleges in Seoul. We talked about how strict the Korean college system was and how it used to be a lot like that back in the US. We talked about where I had been, my school, all that, all in such as easy and friendly way. I liked him so much, that I hardly noticed that he was taking me to the wrong train station until we were already there. So, we traded contact info and I bid him farewell� and well I probably won�t ever see him again, but he was a really cool guy and oddly was that one thing that made my day.

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Friday. 10.15.10 9:59 pm
I was reading/watching this really compelling article about gay suicides and teasing. There was this recorded speech of a city councilman which basically talked about how, even though you get teased and you don't fit and everything feels so dark in the world, that eventually it gets better and you get out of it. With suicide being something I give a lot of thought to, this was an important a meaningful message not just for gay teens but all teens throughout the world.

Then, right below was this snide little comment from someone, who I imagine must be a disgruntled atheist, who talked about how religion causes homicides, which is not only untrue, but off topic. Oddly, though, I do not know how many times I have been in discussions about important issues like suicide, rape, or our future as an accepting society and "The Evil of Religion" comes up. It is so unnecessary. It is as if, in the face of intolerance, people can do nothing but generate more intolerance.

So, I suppose it is mostly for myself when I say: hope, like hate, can be found in so many different places. But let us take a moment to be aware that whether it be hate or hope, the origin of that emotion is deep within ourselves and it is we that are in control of how we think and how we feel. It is we who should be called to account for how we think and how we feel. And it is we who are imperfect and flawed. It is we who need forgiveness. It is we who need a helping hand. It is we who need to be prayed for every moment of every day to become what we only hope we can be.

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The Magic Cream
Thursday. 10.14.10 7:07 am
I have a magic cream. I have no idea what it is, but it was given to me by the mother of one of my students. It is very expensive. It is magic because it does everything: gets rid of wrinkles, narrows you poor and makes your skin glow. I put it on at night, I put it on during the day and it will erase it whatever misery or weariness that I have inflicted upon it. It is called "Waterfall Cream" and it is magic.

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Korea and the Taxi
Tuesday. 10.12.10 8:34 am
So I went to Costco with my new coworker Sunny. She brought her Costco card from home, so it was pretty much awesome. We bought all kinds of fantastic stuff. I got granola (SCORE) and yogurt (DOUBLE SCORE) chicken, green beans, coffee, hot dogs, beans and salad. Anywho, we ate a lovely dinner with the cutest little Korean baby ever (like... every Korean baby). And then we decided to take a cab. We were trying to decide whether or not to take the little Taxi or the Van when some van drivers started to make a deal.

"How much," I asked. I told them I was around Jangsan and between the two of them, they figured out that it was a pretty reasonable number, so off we went, in the cab.

The guy who spoke better English did most of the talking, but it was the guy who spoke less English who approached us, so, doing the decent thing, the other van driver let the first guy take the job and navigated the whole directions piece for us. I told him my apartment building and then, the second guy explained to the first guy that we didn't want to go to Jangsan Station like I originally had said, but some place very near Jangsan Station. He explained it was very near and off we went.

This presented a little bit of a problem when we were in the taxi, though, because, like all human being, he started to become uncertain of his directions and tried to ask us if this was what his friend was talking about. Unfortunately, I didn't understand his question and just kept on saying, "yes, yes," because I was pretty sure we were going the right way.

Finally, I just wanted to tell him "Go straight," but I couldn't remember the word. There was just a blank in my head. "Go straight" I said pointing. I pressed my head trying to get my brain to work.

"Chin, chin?" he said.

I brightened. I knew this word. This word was "go straight"

"Ne, ne!" I said, which is "Yes, yes".

And then we went straight. Sadly, we took the wrong fork of a two forked road and ended up on the other side of where we want to be. I still knew where I was, though and set about finding my way.

"Chin, chin," I said and then, as we got closer he asked, "Oren choke?", which is right. I shook my head, "When choke" and then he tried to take a hard left into a alleyway I hadn't notice up until that moment.

"No, no, no!" I said, "Chin, chin, THEN when choke" (which I can imagine was only slightly more helpful), but between my fervid hand motions and my scattered Korean, it was understood. We waited until we came to the light and then me and my friend both said, "when choke!"

Point is, we got there and learned some Korean on the way.

What we learned:

Go straight "Chin, chin"
Left "Wen choke"
Right "Orin choke"
Over here "Yogi-oh"
Yes "Ne"
No "Ani-yo"

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The Day Jay ate Wok
Sunday. 10.3.10 7:47 am
I used to have two hamsters up until yesterday. In fact, I was on Skype with my dad, telling him, "I'm just here in South Korea with my two" when I looked over and realized that there was something odd about my hamsters. There was no life in the cage.

I remember the first time my rodents died on me. It was about three months after I got them, just like this. I reached my hand into the cage and tried to pick one up, thinking that it was just sleepy. Holding the cold dead thing in my hand caused me to scream in a way that my mother certainly wont ever forget. "They're dead! They're dead!" I screamed, but there was no screaming yesterday.

"Oh no," I said. I was more disappointed than anything. I didn't have my glasses, so I could not see the pile of fluff that used to be Wok was lacking meat on it's tiny bones. I just hoped, for a moment, that Jay might still be alive, but I shook the whole cage until Jay's dead corpulent body rolled out of their tiny house, "Oh no," I repeated.

"What happened?" my dad asked.

"They're dead," I said simply, "Oh no, they're dead."

I talked to my dad for an hour after that with them just lying there. It reminded me of how David was after the death of his first son by Bathsheba. He mourned and fasted as the child was sick, begging God to spare the infant for his misdeeds, but when the child was dead, he got up and moved on with his life. After all, I was the only one waiting for their funeral.

Finally, I was done with having death linger in my room and I excused myself to go outside. In a morbid moment, I had decided before they even died that I would have to put them in the food waste. I live in a city now, there is no back garden for me to bury them in and the plumbing in my department is a septic system, so no flushing (not that I would. Flushing is more for fish anyway).

I took the cage down the hallway.

"Oh no," I said, examining the remains, "Oh no."

In the pile that used to be Wok, I saw a bloody bone sticking out the remains. I think it was only then that it hit me that Jay must have eaten Wok. That was why Jay's little dead body had swollen to the size of two hamsters. My hamster really ATE my other hamster? And then he choked on him?

There were other explanations of course. They could have eaten bad food. Jay could have been 'cleaning up' the remains of his friend and paid dearly for it. Then again, Wok and Jay never really liked each other all that well and they had been fighting before. I settled on the cannibalism story. Somehow, it was funny enough for me to deal with, funny enough for me not to have to think about it too much and it fit all of the gory details of the crime scene.

It was a little embarrassing to carry them down in the elevator. This cute Korean couple was trying to have a nice conversation and I kept on thinking "I have dead hamsters in this cage. I hope they don't notice the dead hamsters".

I tried to tuck it behind my back, but it was too big. I had to choose between alerting them to its presence by smooshing everyone against the front of the elevator to accommodate it, or do the modern version of whistling non-chalantly and keep it quietly tucked by my side as I stared at my shoes.

You could tell they were curious. "Is that a hamster cage?" they probably thought. Maybe they were playing with the idea of asking me about them. That would be embarrassing:
�Oh, are those hamsters?�
�Yes.�
�Can, I see them?�
�Uh� no.�
�Why not?�
"They�re dead.�

I let them clear the elevator and then rocketed past them down the street. Ducking behind the PB, I gave the cage a good look. I didn�t want them to spill out. No, I could not deal with that. My expert hands flashed over the latches and I took apart the cage. Then it was a simple matter of dumping them into the trash. I gave them one final look, fearing and hoping that the dead body of Jay might come back to life. It did not and so I made my peace with it and replaced the trashcan's lid.

There was a weird art piece at the Biennale a week or so back. It was made by a New York artist. It had a piece of writing on it from who knows where talking about how Americans did not know how to deal with death. I thought about that as I carried the bright and empty cage away from the trash cans. Americans don�t know how to deal with death? That kind of assumes that there is some culture out there that does. But really, there is no right way to handle death. Only a right place to put the body. And that�s what I did.

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