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Mini Me Mod

Age. 33
Gender. Female
Location Denver, CO
School. Other
» More info.
Sprocket's Training Milestones
Came home (Aug 2, 2014)
Asked to go outside (Aug 5, 2014)
Slept 4 hours straight (night) (Aug 5-6, 2014)
Crane Count
7/3/13 - 8
7/4/13 - 30
7/5/13 - 36
7/10/13 - 54
7/11/13 - 57
7/18/13 - 67
2/17/14 - 83
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Moon Mod!
To Read:
- Carrie
- Dream of the Red Chamber
- Time to Kill
- Scent of the Missing
- Stiff
Nano mod!
My Almost Rotten Day
Tuesday. 10.26.10 5:40 am
Hrm... How to start. I broke out in hives for no reason yesterday. All over my knees and hands. So, I took some benedryl and it went away. Then, this morning, I was putting on my hair frizz stuff and *BAM* hives, all over. So, I went to school and I told my teacher, "I keep on breaking out in hives for no reason, I think I should go to the doctor" and they replied, "Hunh! Okay."


So, I went to the doctor and I tried to get in.

Well... I went to the pharmacist, who seemed to be very annoyed that I thought they were the doctor. So, they chased me out and down the hall to the "skin doctor". Great.

I felt really tired and achy because I haven't been sleeping and I have this terrible cough. So, they asked me for my card and I went through my purse over and over and over, just like I was the brother in "It's a Wonderful Life" (or just me on any day of the week) and- I couldn't find it. I had gone through a reorganization when my ID holder popped a hole in its pocket and I left it at home in my big planner which I had replaced with my little food diary. (SUCK!). So, I told them that I would be back.

On my way home, I started to wonder, "What if breaking out into hives in normal? Why did no one else seem particular concerned when there were bright red blotches all over my face, rising up out of my skin like a molten volcano? Is it really just normal stuff? So, once I had my card.. I went back to school and decided to go at lunch.

As I walked into my classroom, I kept thinking "I hope they don't mention. I hope they don't mention it. Man, I'll kill someone if they mention it" and you know what the first thing out of their little kindy mouths was? "Why do you have red all over you face?" and I surprised myself saying, "I don't know," and starting the lesson as though nothing had happened.

I went to the doctors office at lunch, instead of during school. I thought I still needed to go, even though most of the hives had gone away.

"Do you speak Korean?" he asked.
"No," I said.
"What is your problem?" (it sounded a lot better than it writes out)
"I have hives... like allergy? It's all over my face and hands. It's mostly gone now. I took an antihistamine last night and to make it go away."
Hearing antihistamine, he nodded sagely.
"Urticaria!" he said.
Ultra-Korea? I thought, well no kidding, but "Hunh?"
"Urticaria. That is what 'we' call it. Hives."
"Oh," I said. I think I was halfway out of the office by time I realized that this was, 'we': the doctors not 'we' the Koreans.
"I will give you a pill," he said, "antihistamine."
"Okay," I said.
Strange look.
"You can get the prescription at the front desk.
"Oh! oh! okay."

So, the people gave me a prescription... and then I went to school. The antihistmaine helped a lot. I mean... I keep on breaking out in hives for no reason when I stop taking it, but I feel awesome when I'm on it. It sort of sucks, though, because it's kind of a "hurry up and wait" deal. It takes so much effort to get to the doctor and then they want you to "come back in two weeks if it doesn't get any better". Okay, and if I'm dead, I'll totally and come back and complain.

So that was my day. Hopefully the end is a little better. 'Night.

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Good Manners
Saturday. 10.23.10 11:52 pm
This is a really neat video..

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What we want and what we need.
Monday. 10.18.10 9:03 am
This morning, I decided to try a new coffee. Sick of constantly saying, “No, I don’t drink coffee,” and then having to explain this unusual facet of my personality, I decided that it was not really worth it and set out to find a favorite drink. Currently, it is a caramel macchiato. However, I have been kind of annoyed at the cost of my favorite sugar filled wonder and so I decided to pick something a little lower down the menu, “vanilla latte” to be precise.

It was awful.

The beautiful little coffee shop that I have been frequenting because of its fine macchiato, cheaper prices and nice staff, was surprisingly lacking at 9:35 as I waited for my coffee. They did not understand that I wanted not a vanilla latte hot and instead tried to make just a latte iced, which I have never understood. Why would you want your latte iced, if you could just let it go cold and drink it then? Anyhow, I pitched as little fit as I could and received another one; hot… no syrup… which was probably my fault.

It was that and the fact that I had not really gotten that much sleep the night before and the fact that I tripped over my own feet… again, and falling halfway down the stairs, that lead me to a general resentful feeling for the remainder of the morning, which I did not like. I went home for lunch and on the way back had this conversation with myself:

“Well, assuming that the book your just read was correct, we can assume that we can just change your attitude.”
“Gggerl, just shut up.”
“Come on, Jin-“
“Look, I had a legitimately bad morning! I didn’t sleep last night, my coffee was terrible, I tripped down the stairs and I still have this horrible cough.”
“Well, according to our mood tracker, one tiny thing can change your mood at any point during the day, so it is just as reasonable to believe that something good could come up in the end half of the day to rectify the rest of it.”
“Fine,” I replied, “But for just a moment, I want to be miserable.”
So it was that I was miserable for about fifteen seconds and then let it go.

The second half of the day was based around the theme of “what we need” and “what we want”. For instance, I did not need a decent coffee this morning, I simply wanted it. However, I did need to breath in air and I enjoyed that very much when not impeded by my hacking cough.

It was a great question for class, though. Each class threw in their own tidbits from air, shelter and water to family and friends. With my oldest class, I had them erase one thing from their need list until they only had one thing left. The cars and the houses were the first things to go, then the clothes. Surprisingly, I think the food went after that. They cut out friends before family and we ended up cutting out family before we cut out our own hands. In the end, we lobbed off the hands and the halves of both our brains and our hearts before we finally got rid of water and air, which we decided pretty much killed us off.

And that was when I met Hko Sook, a very pleasant young man recently graduated from High School with his GED. I was headed back from a pleasant dinner date with my friend Lena, who is being decent enough to teach me Korean and answer all my weird-ass questions about what Korean L337 it like (and buying some fantastic new track pants, by the by) when I realized, yet again, that I was lost.

“Schlejiman,” I asked diffidently to the friendliest stranger I could spot.
“Yes?” he said in surprised but perfectly accented English.
I was equally confused. My brain was processing Korean, right then and I was not really prepared for that, “Jihachoal, odi-e-o?”
“The subway? Well, its right up here,” he said.

We got a good conversation going about how he grew up in New Zealand and how now he was working for Burger King and applying to colleges in Seoul. We talked about how strict the Korean college system was and how it used to be a lot like that back in the US. We talked about where I had been, my school, all that, all in such as easy and friendly way. I liked him so much, that I hardly noticed that he was taking me to the wrong train station until we were already there. So, we traded contact info and I bid him farewell… and well I probably won’t ever see him again, but he was a really cool guy and oddly was that one thing that made my day.

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Friday. 10.15.10 9:59 pm
I was reading/watching this really compelling article about gay suicides and teasing. There was this recorded speech of a city councilman which basically talked about how, even though you get teased and you don't fit and everything feels so dark in the world, that eventually it gets better and you get out of it. With suicide being something I give a lot of thought to, this was an important a meaningful message not just for gay teens but all teens throughout the world.

Then, right below was this snide little comment from someone, who I imagine must be a disgruntled atheist, who talked about how religion causes homicides, which is not only untrue, but off topic. Oddly, though, I do not know how many times I have been in discussions about important issues like suicide, rape, or our future as an accepting society and "The Evil of Religion" comes up. It is so unnecessary. It is as if, in the face of intolerance, people can do nothing but generate more intolerance.

So, I suppose it is mostly for myself when I say: hope, like hate, can be found in so many different places. But let us take a moment to be aware that whether it be hate or hope, the origin of that emotion is deep within ourselves and it is we that are in control of how we think and how we feel. It is we who should be called to account for how we think and how we feel. And it is we who are imperfect and flawed. It is we who need forgiveness. It is we who need a helping hand. It is we who need to be prayed for every moment of every day to become what we only hope we can be.

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The Magic Cream
Thursday. 10.14.10 7:07 am
I have a magic cream. I have no idea what it is, but it was given to me by the mother of one of my students. It is very expensive. It is magic because it does everything: gets rid of wrinkles, narrows you poor and makes your skin glow. I put it on at night, I put it on during the day and it will erase it whatever misery or weariness that I have inflicted upon it. It is called "Waterfall Cream" and it is magic.

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Korea and the Taxi
Tuesday. 10.12.10 8:34 am
So I went to Costco with my new coworker Sunny. She brought her Costco card from home, so it was pretty much awesome. We bought all kinds of fantastic stuff. I got granola (SCORE) and yogurt (DOUBLE SCORE) chicken, green beans, coffee, hot dogs, beans and salad. Anywho, we ate a lovely dinner with the cutest little Korean baby ever (like... every Korean baby). And then we decided to take a cab. We were trying to decide whether or not to take the little Taxi or the Van when some van drivers started to make a deal.

"How much," I asked. I told them I was around Jangsan and between the two of them, they figured out that it was a pretty reasonable number, so off we went, in the cab.

The guy who spoke better English did most of the talking, but it was the guy who spoke less English who approached us, so, doing the decent thing, the other van driver let the first guy take the job and navigated the whole directions piece for us. I told him my apartment building and then, the second guy explained to the first guy that we didn't want to go to Jangsan Station like I originally had said, but some place very near Jangsan Station. He explained it was very near and off we went.

This presented a little bit of a problem when we were in the taxi, though, because, like all human being, he started to become uncertain of his directions and tried to ask us if this was what his friend was talking about. Unfortunately, I didn't understand his question and just kept on saying, "yes, yes," because I was pretty sure we were going the right way.

Finally, I just wanted to tell him "Go straight," but I couldn't remember the word. There was just a blank in my head. "Go straight" I said pointing. I pressed my head trying to get my brain to work.

"Chin, chin?" he said.

I brightened. I knew this word. This word was "go straight"

"Ne, ne!" I said, which is "Yes, yes".

And then we went straight. Sadly, we took the wrong fork of a two forked road and ended up on the other side of where we want to be. I still knew where I was, though and set about finding my way.

"Chin, chin," I said and then, as we got closer he asked, "Oren choke?", which is right. I shook my head, "When choke" and then he tried to take a hard left into a alleyway I hadn't notice up until that moment.

"No, no, no!" I said, "Chin, chin, THEN when choke" (which I can imagine was only slightly more helpful), but between my fervid hand motions and my scattered Korean, it was understood. We waited until we came to the light and then me and my friend both said, "when choke!"

Point is, we got there and learned some Korean on the way.

What we learned:

Go straight "Chin, chin"
Left "Wen choke"
Right "Orin choke"
Over here "Yogi-oh"
Yes "Ne"
No "Ani-yo"

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