Monday. 9.17.12 1:56 am
Drinking champagne by Christmas light at four in the morning, and watching friends ballroom dance during dinner at an upscale jazz bar, and talking about the comfort in vast nothingness on the edge of nothingness and nowhere at midnight, and that morning goodbye kiss just before you head off to work, and the perfect lamb burger with caramelized onions, and the sentence, "This is it; we made it."
Saturday. 9.8.12 7:05 pm
This is the coolest video I've seen all week.
Segue into a talk on politics.
I tend a lose a lot of respect for people during election periods, because it brings out the ugly. I'm not for Mitt Romney, but every time I see an attack on his sexuality, it makes me sick. That attack insinuates that there is something wrong with being closeted L/G/B/T (even though I'm content with believing, personally, that Romney is not, simply because he says so), and that obviously goes against everything over which many Obama supporters of the LGBT community are fighting.
SO SHUT UP AND STOP MAKING THEM LOOK BAD.
Plus, it's just needlessly mean. These candidates are people.
Come on, world, you can do better. Push your boundaries, here.
"Looks like a grade one high ankle sprain. Shouldn't be too worried. If it hurts two weeks from now definitely see a doctor"
"So I have to brace both my ankles? D:"
He proceeded to tell me to get over it, and that he liked listening to rap at 3am.
Oh well that's cool hey but by the way I JUST SPRAINED MY ONLY GOOD ANKLE COME ON.
I asked him because I was hoping I was wrong. I spotted it while I was in the bathtub--one of those inside-of-an-old-strawberry red types of bruises, right on one of my most useful tendons.
"AAAHHH," I said, because this was not good news, and I was hearing the pop it had made, earlier that day, in my mind, over and over.
So here come the braces. Meeeer.
Making My Way Towards Yachts
Friday. 8.31.12 11:08 pm
We make eye contact, and I see his expression flash with interest.
Whassup, says my expression.
I turn back to my psychology reading, assuming this is the extent of our interaction, but he, meanwhile, decides to turn his bike around.
His approach is kind of nutty and quirky, asking how I found out about the spot in which I'm resting to do homework. It's kind of an impressive little human cubby, about five or six feet off the ground, in the science building in which I have an evening class. We engage in some banter and conversation, and I find out that he's in Charleston for an unknown amount of time, escaping the hurricane hitting Florida (where he lives). He tells me he sailed up in his boat.
He suggests I let him take me out on the harbor.
"My parents always told me not to get in boats with strangers," I half-tease. He tells me that this is fair enough. We exchange numbers for land activities (such as coffee and a late-night tour of the city), he departs on bike, and I go back to studying.
And then I realize that I was just asked to go sailing on the harbor at sundown by a beautiful man and burst out laughing.
I've decided to take all the cool opportunities presented to me. All of them. Ever. I'm joining a volunteer organization on campus and taking advantage of the fact that we have $10 paddleboarding lessons and free sea kayaking. I joined rugby and even went to the recruitment party, which was probably the coolest party I've been to, to date--especially considering the fact that I was asked out to dinner by a really cool teammate, on the walk home. I'm so organized it's ridiculous, too, so all my classwork is taken care of. I'm quitting my job and looking for something on-campus, because...well, screw money, it upsets my mum when I don't come home for winter break. I'd rather be a bit less comfortable and see The Hobbit in theaters with her and my brother.
And Les Mis.
And The Great Gatsby.
Life is so super balanced. Furthermore, I'm back to dating Mike, and things are progressing so much more smoothly, without the premature relationship hanging over my head. I feel like he and I are really starting to work well together, as two people with the potential to become a couple (NOT YET THOUGH, GET OFF MY BALLS). His interactions are becoming more familiar.
The monster is moody and probably feels like I completely deserted him, when I started going with Mike.
People detach, emotionally, when you somehow manage to make them cry, regardless of how much that person may have told you that she never told anyone else.
Afraid of hurting me?
YOU DID A SHIT JOB.
All right so awesome bye!
PS the monster was actually quite lovely, the other night. We talked through movies and nerded out about Pompeii, and he just freakin' gets me. Also he's a kickass cuddler.
back to that spot where I forgot to carry the one
Thursday. 8.24.12 12:48 am
Helloooo! No more password-protected entries, and I'll get back to everyone ASAP, I just don't want these entries halting my progress on writing about COOLER, LESS STUPID THINGS!
First of all, this new house is amazing. I look out the kitchen window and see my shirtless neighbors ironing their slacks and doing other manly things like making tea in a kitchen decorated with a TMNT poster. My upstairs neighbor plays the blues guitar and is actually really good at it, so I sometimes listen to him when I'm trying to get a quick afternoon nap. The windows are tall and start at the ceilings, and the wood floors have a distinct tilt to them that comes with the age of the house. I can navigate it in the dark, already, just from the way the floor tilts and the floorboards creak.
Everything is peaceful and far from campus. Outside, I can hear the steady flow of traffic and the palmetto trees that scrape against my windows, a bit. When it rains, our whole street floods, and it's kind of fun to sit at my window and watch nervous drivers splash around in the calf-deep water.
My classes are going fine, too. Wednesday was my first experience having a split day; I went to class in the morning till eleven, then went home, had lunch and siesta, and then worked a quick shift and had class from four to eight thirty. It was weird, but SO nice. I had plenty of time during the day to eat properly, rest up, and visit with friends. What a delicious life I'm living.
Also, I'm joining rugby. I may not be able to jump up high enough to grab a frisbee out of the air, but I can certainly take someone down to prevent them from ever throwing it in the first place. Ultimate was never my calling. No-contact was never my calling.
Speaking of no-contact not being my calling...
I told Mike that I'd never gone back and dated an ex after breaking up. Usually, it would be a breakup, then a second shot at the relationship, if anything. None of this dating stuff. Naturally, that approach didn't work, but I told him that I didn't really know what I was doing, with this more subtle approach, either.
it's like when you make a math error in the middle of a problem.
you just gotta go back, fix the error, and rework the steps
We're seeing each other this weekend, and I'm very, very excited. Because I like him. Because he's attractive. Because he gets it.
Because he uses a math analogy to explain our relationship, which is something I not only WOULD do, but HAVE done.
I know my whole romantic life is a big, stupid roller coaster. I look at it from an outside perspective and become fully aware of how silly and petty my situations tend to be. I dig my own grave, you know?
If I'm going to be six feet under, though, this is the way to go. Aside from the occasional night spent on the floor barfing all my feelings, my romantic life is...well. It's freakin' fun.
Anyway, it's nice to have trivial problems feel large and terrible. I would prefer that to having actual, heavy issues currently pressing on me. I do have more uncomfortable and stressful things going on in my life, but that's all behind closed doors, and, frankly, it doesn't occur to me to think on them too often. They can't be changed, and no amount of brooding will help.
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