Gimme a call
personal growth [t]
Hello Kitty [t]
Asian racism [t]
Saturday. 7.7.07 10:53 pm
The dot has gone mainstream.
Yes, it's sad, but true. No, I haven't gone crazy and gotten a myspace. THe dot has now got a Facebook. *background shrieking* Oh. My. Gawd.
Obviously I won't tell you because it's too close to home. And too easy for Dilated to start stalking me. And for randomjunk to send packages of evil cackling hamburgers to me. Obvious reasons.
I'm actually liking it. For now anyway. I'm finding all these people I've lost connection with. I'll probably lose interest in a week, month or two. Not like the 'Tang. ;)
Don't worry, you guys. The land of dot is always happy, kinda like lalaland. Like I said, I should be commited. ^-^
Thursday. 7.5.07 5:04 pm
My mother's a fuckin' bitch. What the hell is up her nose this time? She's all huffy and accusing over the phone. Yelling at me for for God knows what. What the fuck is wrong with her? I don't know what the hell she's mad at.
God. Fuck. It's friggin' messed up. *kick*
Wednesday. 7.4.07 4:54 pm
Oh, my. Quite a while since I've made an entry...>.> Don't kill me! *staves off swords* We A-okay? *you nod* Okay!
Last Monday=>Beach. Not much fun really. Played volleyball. Sorta.
Night before Monday=stayed over at C's house. She asked if he like me, said no, doesn't know me well enough. =P She said 'Okay, be my boytoy'. He said 'WTH?', she called him boytoy--bt for short. C left multiple crazy messages in hi voicemail hours later. Angry, sad, estatic, sings 'Twinkle, twinkle little star', excited, humble. One after another. >.> I told you she was a maniac!
Oh, and I wasn't caught offguard, shocked or sad by his response. Just getting my sealegs back after being hyped up by C about making him a bf. *eyeballroll* Okay, so he's out. Though she insists that we shoukld hang out more so he gets to know me better and thus...you get my drift. This coming from the girl who spilled soup on him because she said he was gettting on her nerves for no reason. Which, by the way, did nothing but get ME wet and sticky instead of HIM. >.> Cuz he pushed the cup away to his left=me. And the girl says she doesn't like him--hates him. *shrug* Though of course, there's also the possiblity that he lied cuz it was her who asked. Eh, whatever.
Last two weeks=>stayed over at my grandmother's every night. *sigh* No internet connection. No nothing. Double-negative, I know. Shut up. XP *blows raspberrry*
Played DDR twice at C's house. Stayed over once. Stayed for dinner once. May go there more this summer.
*siiigh* typing quikly cuz it's my friend's computer and she wants a hotdog for JulyFourth. >.> Gotta go.
p.s. @randomjunk, crzmanga: I AM NOT EMO! *blows raspberry* Okay, I was then. Sorta. Shut up!
Nuttz is so much better than meanie random. Nuttz-dear, is nice and sympathetic. Hmph. *blowkiss to Nuttz* XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Oh, dear. I won;t do that again. Too Kuri-like. XD =P
Wednesday. 6.27.07 6:31 pm
I want to go out. I want to go out at night. Oh no, I don't mean out all night and returning at midnight. Just...I wanna go to a cafe and people watch. I want a friendwith me. I'm lonely. I don't wanna be by myself. It's boring. I want somebody, anybody.
Maybe I want somebody to care where I am. Mybe that's it. TO care about me. There's no one to do that.
with silent tears dwn an unemotional face, no smiles, no laughter,
--It wasn't that we had a fight. More like she was happy-go-lucky talking over the phone a mile a minute and I was sitting there listening. Half about to yell at me, half laughing-joy. I guess the anxiety in me as I waited, the harsh slap or finally the thing I had wanted for so many years, built up and when neither came, it shook me.
I'm getting tired of waiting. That breathless shaking, thudding heartbeat inside, waiting for the dam to break--either for happiness or sadness. Total opposites, wondering which awaited me?
BTW: Don't kill me over the drama. I was watching 2046. ^-^'' XD Neh-neh-neh-neh! =P Though everything I wrote was true.
My continual absence...
Friday. 6.22.07 8:42 am
Thursday. 6.21.07 7:56 pm
Everything's getting better. I'm finally happy(-ier). Why do you keep bringing up bad stuff?
Wednesday. 6.20.07 8:52 pm
I'm as taunt as a fishing line and as easy to cut. At this moment.
My neck is stiff and my jaws tremble. I hold a great amount of energy within with no obvious outlet. That energy has a name; Hate.
A few moments ago, my mom returned home. I lifted my aching neck at her arrival and waited for her to come through the door. Her immediate response to the sight of me was...
"Why are you wearing that shirt?!"
A torrent of words rushed out after. I was overwhelmed in 5 sec. and different emotions tore through my body at once--confusion, anger, skepticsm. The word 'unforgiveable' echoed in my head.
The whole episode boiled down to this: I wasn't to wear the shirt. I wore the shirt because I was a slut--prostitute in Chinese. I wore the shirt on purpose, knowing that wearing it made me a slut--meaning I had worn it to show off 'my goods'.
It was a white sleeveless ribbd shirt/blouse, whatever. It was my graduation photo shoot day. My outfit was most definitely not whore-ish in any way. In fact, if you had seen me on the street, you would have thought me a young innocent rich girl. You should know the type I mean.
Thus, I am rigid to the bone right now. And holding back that special energy, 'less I do something I regret. I'm having a problem breathing...normally and my chest hurts. From the effort I suppose.
See ya'll tonight? Maybe.
Tonight's for Today
Saturday. 6.16.07 9:08 am
mood: a bit unsettled...?
listening to: Tom's screams and Jerry's spinning feet
I'm a bit more unsettled than usual because I just had a dream. I woke up this morning to find my mother dressed and calling, 'I'm going out!' behind her as she donned my sneakers. Good thing my aunt bought me new sneaks, eh?
Anyway, seeing her first thing in the morning gave my heart a jump. A second ago, she'd been accusing me of murder. The murder of an old man with shifty eyes and a fortune no one knew of, except for his caretaker--a not-so-young flower in a too small nurse's outfit and self-satisfied smile. He died of a stroke. And I was being pointed to as his murderer. >.>
Not exactly the best light for my mother, eh? Waking up a daughter she was about to send to jail, no duh my feelings weren't exactly warm & fuzzy. ;D
*buy new contact solution
*bring glasses case
what else....? Hmm.
See ya'll latah. *wave*
NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.013seconds.
|All content © Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.|