And I decided that I want to be a school teacher and breed dogs... I'm just deciding which breed.

...And I love emote stickers. They are all over my journal now.

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There it is: the question. What am I going to do with my life? Or in its shortened version, the question I have been asking every day almost every hour to myself for the past week "What do you want?"

So, as oft times before, I go to what other people have said about me. Of the people who dare to venture a guess, these are the answers I have been given: a nun, a religious person, an editor, a teacher, a captain, a grandma and a life coach. I am also occasionally told to do what I want to do, which I am usually told is being a writer. I want to do that, too.

So, in short, people see me as an old person who knows stuff and is able to give advice about other people's novels, lives, etc. So maybe I should do that... whatever the heck that is.

A professional question asker? You tell me.

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When you are finding a seat on the subway, do not take for yourself the best seat (the one right on the end so no one has to sit by you on one side and your can lean your head against the metal bar if you're tired), because a little old lady may be waiting for it and then you will be embarrassed. Instead, stay standing and hold onto a handle as best you can until someone offers you the seat. Then you can be honored by taking it. This is humility.

This is why they say, some of the first shall be last and some of the last shall be first.

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I have now officially participated in the South Korean Census.

For me, this all began a couple of weeks ago when I found the census form on my front door. I reflected on the number of immigrants who go uncounted in America because of their inability or reticence to fill out the form. I also thought about what a shame that really was and how the government could serve them far better if they could only be counted. I also looked at all of those Korean characters, tore it off my door and threw it at the ground.

A few days later, new census form. Rip off tape, let fall gently to the ground.

Today, *ding, dong*.

There are usually only two reasons that Korean people knock on my door 1. they have the wrong apartment number 2. it's three o'clock in the morning and they are drunk. So, I did not think she was a census worker, so I simply said 'hello' and opened the door.

"Anyanghaseo! [insert paragraph in Korean here] English?"
"Yes," I replied.
"[insert pleasant rapid Korean]" she pointed at the form in English which needed my phone number and name. I filled it out.
She continues speaking in rapid Korean.
Points to the form.
I began to fill it out.
"What does this mean?" I asked.
"Uh..." she began.
"University?"
"Yes. yes. yes." she replied.
"Hrm.."
Penciling.
"And this? [teacher]?" I asked in Korean.
"Hrm.." she points.
"Okay," I say.
"[Thank you! Peace be with you!]" she says.
"[Peace be with you!]" I reply.

She was a very nice census worker.

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So, I was on the subway talking to my new friend. There was this old man sitting in the old men seats with these two pre-stretched canvases. I started to talk about language proficiency because we are always talking about if her English is good and stuff and then he starts slamming his paintings on the ground of subway, trying to interrupt my train of thought. I continued and then he started to shout a little, small spurts of words like he was trying to 'channel' them out of his mouth instead of actually say them. "No!" "Stop!" he muttered. I paused and then continued, a few seconds late "Nrmph!" "Starnp!" I stopped completely, but my friend didn't seem to notice, she just went on as if nothing happened. So strange.

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Hrm... How to start. I broke out in hives for no reason yesterday. All over my knees and hands. So, I took some benedryl and it went away. Then, this morning, I was putting on my hair frizz stuff and *BAM* hives, all over. So, I went to school and I told my teacher, "I keep on breaking out in hives for no reason, I think I should go to the doctor" and they replied, "Hunh! Okay."

...

So, I went to the doctor and I tried to get in.

Well... I went to the pharmacist, who seemed to be very annoyed that I thought they were the doctor. So, they chased me out and down the hall to the "skin doctor". Great.

I felt really tired and achy because I haven't been sleeping and I have this terrible cough. So, they asked me for my card and I went through my purse over and over and over, just like I was the brother in "It's a Wonderful Life" (or just me on any day of the week) and- I couldn't find it. I had gone through a reorganization when my ID holder popped a hole in its pocket and I left it at home in my big planner which I had replaced with my little food diary. (SUCK!). So, I told them that I would be back.

On my way home, I started to wonder, "What if breaking out into hives in normal? Why did no one else seem particular concerned when there were bright red blotches all over my face, rising up out of my skin like a molten volcano? Is it really just normal stuff? So, once I had my card.. I went back to school and decided to go at lunch.

As I walked into my classroom, I kept thinking "I hope they don't mention. I hope they don't mention it. Man, I'll kill someone if they mention it" and you know what the first thing out of their little kindy mouths was? "Why do you have red all over you face?" and I surprised myself saying, "I don't know," and starting the lesson as though nothing had happened.

I went to the doctors office at lunch, instead of during school. I thought I still needed to go, even though most of the hives had gone away.

"Do you speak Korean?" he asked.
"No," I said.
"Oh."
Typing.
"What is your problem?" (it sounded a lot better than it writes out)
"I have hives... like allergy? It's all over my face and hands. It's mostly gone now. I took an antihistamine last night and to make it go away."
Hearing antihistamine, he nodded sagely.
"Urticaria!" he said.
Ultra-Korea? I thought, well no kidding, but "Hunh?"
"Urticaria. That is what 'we' call it. Hives."
"Oh," I said. I think I was halfway out of the office by time I realized that this was, 'we': the doctors not 'we' the Koreans.
"I will give you a pill," he said, "antihistamine."
"Okay," I said.
Typing.
Strange look.
"Hrm?"
"You can get the prescription at the front desk.
"Oh! oh! okay."

So, the people gave me a prescription... and then I went to school. The antihistmaine helped a lot. I mean... I keep on breaking out in hives for no reason when I stop taking it, but I feel awesome when I'm on it. It sort of sucks, though, because it's kind of a "hurry up and wait" deal. It takes so much effort to get to the doctor and then they want you to "come back in two weeks if it doesn't get any better". Okay, and if I'm dead, I'll totally and come back and complain.

So that was my day. Hopefully the end is a little better. 'Night.

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