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I am
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
Friday. 5.2.08 12:48 pm
So... I've racked up about a thou' in debt in the last few weeks... Maybe more.

But I guess that's what happens when your dad decides to stop helping you out financially. Yeah. He got upset about me dropping out and stopped supporting me financially. I don't blame him for that. He has every right to do that. The person he better still help is my mom. I don't care if they're divorced. He owes her at least that.

Taxes is what really did me over. When I started doing my taxes I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't make sense of it. I didn't have a W-2 but I figured whatever other form I had received wouldn't be that difficult. Well, I got exasperated and went to H&R Block. I couldn't have done it by myself, it turns out. Or I wouldn't have figured it out at least. Apparently my previous job had paid me as if I was my own business. So, I had to fill out my taxes in that way. As if I, Aldo, was my own tutoring/teaching assistant business. Because of that I had to pay for owning my own business. Lovely, huh? All in all, I racked up $800 dollars in debt just that one day.

Luckly for me I got a decent paying job. I'm a security guard now. $10 an hour. The only true cost for having this job is having to shave. I had to rid myself of my beard. I nearly cried. Well, not really. But if I had a soul I would have. After my boss asked me how long I'd had it, I realized I've had my beard for about 4 years or so. But it's worth it, I guess.

It's been really difficult. I have no idea what I'm going to do. None.

I know what I'd love to do.

I don't believe I can do it, though. I honestly don't think I can. Not without a radical life change. However, that opportunity may be opening up. A small work trip to Australia may do what's needed. I'd work as a camp ground attendee. I'd dig trenches, plant trees, mow lawns, feed horses, etc. Maybe then I may get fit enough to come back and do my job. The ad to this job said that they would be willing to pay for travel expenses and I'd have a place to sleep and eat there. It would be wonderful.
Then, maybe then I could come back and do what I'd love to do.
Be a firefighter.

But it's ALL in God's hands.

First I need to clear myself of all this debt. Maybe by mid-june I'll be good and ready...

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These twists and turns of fate
Saturday. 4.5.08 1:31 am
There's a certain peace I feel. A peace I haven't felt in a long time...

I've dropped out of school.

I will now be marred as the kid that couldn't cut it. Frankly I don't care and I dare anyone to say that to my face.

My dad's stopped calling. I miss him. If anything, THAT'S what bothers me. It also slightly worries me that my mom still doesn't fully understand why I did it.

But I figure all of that will be worked in time.
Much like everything.

Now all that's left for me to do is get the job.

I pray my dreams haven't lied to me. I pray this peace remains.

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