Passion Fruit Smoothie!
Thursday. 5.6.10 12:27 Am
Alright, so, I opened a new shampoo bottle just now, and it's scented "Passion Fruit Smoothie." I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen a bottle trying to pass off a taste as a scent. Because that is obviously a taste! There should be no difference between the smell of the fruit and the smoothie, so it MUST be a taste reference!
In either case, it smells like plain shampoo.
I wonder how inappropriate it would be for me to pass out Mother's Day cards to some girls at school. I'm not close friends with any girls who are pregnant, so that little joke is out.
Saturday I'm driving down to Columbia to watch my brother's track meet there. It will be rad! As long as I don't die or get lost or something.
I've always told people that, in the event that I was about to die and there was no way around it, I'd prefer to jump out of airplane, over the ocean, stark naked. This is still true. I think that would be possibly the greatest way to die.
I had two days off of school for an English IB exam and a Calculus AP exam. I am fairly confident with the English...the math, on the other hand, left me wondering about life, the universe, and everything. It was awful. I was completely and utterly ill-prepared, which is mostly my fault but was aggravated slightly by my class and teacher. Parts of it were beyond my grasp simply because I didn't know how to handle certain numbers (in some cases I could even remember DOING the lesson, but no dice!) but at least I knew what it was asking almost all of the time. And I figured out some stuff on the spot, like deriving a semicircle!
But yeah, I got a pretty bad score on that.
Tonight I decided that I wanted to converse with people on facebook in all caps. Here are some highlights.
LYING IN MY BED
LOLZ I KNOW
WHO DID YOU USE AS YOUR REFERENCE FOR YOUR LAUREL CREEK APPLICATION
IT ASKS FOR TWO REFERENCES.
NO PARENTS OR EMPLOYERS
I DID NOT HAVE TO EVEN FILL OUT AN APPLICATION I JUST CALLED UP THERE AND TOLD THEM I WANTED TO WORK HAHA
IS IT IMPORTANT
yes we are cleaning and going over policies and what not
but i mean they wont tell you no because you missed it. clay wont be able to make it
THAT IS A QUESTION
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SHOUTING CONVERSATION
IT IS CERTAINLY USEFUL FOR SPICING UP LIFE
IT SEEMS LIKE AS GOOD A TIME AS EVER
IT IS FUN TO NOT USE PUNCTUATION EVEN WHEN IT IS INTEGRAL TO THE MEANING
LIKE WHEN AJ MENTIONED CLAY
AND I SAID CLAY BATES
BUT IT WAS A QUESTION NOT AN EXCLAMATINO
SO I HAD TO SAY THAT IS A QUESTION
JUST NOW WHEN I WAS QUOTING MYSELF
NEVER ADMIT TO BEING UNCOOL
YOU JUST BROKE RULE ONE
I ADMITTED NO SUCH THING
I AM THE COOLEST CAT ON THE BLOCK
YOU ARE NOT A CAT
I WOULD KNOW
BECAUSE I AM A CAT
CHECK IT OUT
SEE THERE IT IS
THAT DOESN'T REALLY WORK IN CAPS
NEITHER DOES YOUR MOM
IT IS AS IF A CAT IS BEING SURPRISED
OR RAPED IN AN ALLY
YES I DID
WHICH I GUESS STILL FALLS UNDER THE FIRST INSTANCE
YOU CAN IGNORE THE CRUDE COMMENT I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOM OKAY BUT MY CAT IMPRESSION IS GREAT
YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT ON MY GOAT IMPRESSION
LET ME TELL YOU
IT IS BAAAAAD
YOU JUST MADE ME LAUGH
FOR REAL THAT IS PRETTY NEAT
YES FOR REAL
I HAVE NOT LAUGHED IN A LONG TIME WHILE TALKING TO YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GIRL DRAMA
HEHE GIRL DRAMA
I AM NOT ALL GIRL DRAMA
I DO NOT THINK I HAVE MENTIONED GIRLS FOR A LONG TIME
YOU ARE ALSO FIVE PERCENT WATER
PRETTY SURE IT IS MORE THAN THAT
NOT WITH ALL THAT GIRL DRAMA YOU ARE PACKING
IT'S LIKE DRINKING ALCOHOL
IF YOU HAD A .95 BLOOD GIRL LEVEL I WOULD BELIEVE IT
I'VE BEEN HOLDING DOWN SHIFT THIS WHOLE TIME INSTEAD OF CAPS LOCKING WTF
I AM STILL WONDERING WHAT IS THIS DRAMA YOU SPEAK OF.
OH DAMN A PERIOD
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE GIRL DRAMA
I HONESTLY THINK YOU SAY THESE THINGS JUST TO RILE ME UP
YOU'RE ALL WOMEN BE HATEN ON MEEE
REMEMBER HOW PARANOID I AM.
HOLY CRAP IT'S A PERIOD
THAT IS NOT TRUE BECAUSE THAT IS NOT TRUE
WOMEN LOVE ME
WOMEN HATE YOU
AWW MAN THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A QUESTION TOO
HEY RYAN I AM HAVING SHOUTING CONVERSATIONS WITH KATIE AND AJ
I have an application on my mac desktop that allows me to look at every issue of science magazine, EVER
IT IS QUITE INVIGORATING
starting with 1880.
I LIKE MY STORY BETTER
do...do you need some water?
you sound like you're getting hoarse.
I JUST MADE KATIE LAUGH
SO I AM ON A ROLL
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I TOLD HER
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS
i really wish you had replied to my comment wiht
naaaahhhhhhhaahahahah (neighing like a horse)
wait, which katie
i know LOTS of katies
LOTS OF KATIES YOU HEAR
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS
AND SHE SAID MEOW
way to not answer my question.
AND I TOLD HER THAT MEOWING DOES NOT REALLY WORK IN ALL CAPS
that wasnt even a skillful dodge.
YOU LIE OF COURSE THEY DO
WHO NEEDS SUBTLETY WHEN YOU CAN TYPE LIKE THIS
well. i have exams in the morning.
so, sleep well steve.
try not to yell in your sleep.
WHY WOULD I TRY THAT
IF I CAN YELL IN MY SLEEP I WILL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT
did you consider that it might not be voluntray?
IT IS LIKE THE CLASSIC LIBRARY MISSPELLING
goodnight, one of the overflexed lungs and vocal chords.
Oh man. This is actually a lot of fun.
I have been using the straight-faced awkward approach a LOT lately. Talking about sex in youth group, for example. Now, to be clear, nobody in my youth group believes that sex itself is bad or taboo or anything. So certain discussions are allowed and even encouraged. But it's still sort of awkward, especially when both genders are present and we're talking about breast reductions.
Also, I was looking up the KIN phone today in school (apparently an awful phone) and some kid kept making jokes that I was looking up Ken from Barbie. He asked, "What were you and Ken doing last night?"
I looked him right in the eye and said, "Masturbating."
...so if anyone's wondering about my part in the current shoutbox conversation...yeah.
Monday. 5.3.10 7:53 pm
So basically every time I listen to one of my favorite songs I want to post a blog. And then I forget alllll about it.
Feelin' sort of mixed up right now. Same old story. Not to my liking at all.
Prom coming up- wait, what? EXAMS coming up. Huh. Prom was Saturday (and the Friday from the week before). OH YEAH ABOUT THAT. Um. I had a date this year. Go me? Yeah! It's pretty much a completely different experience. But I'm sure YOU know that!
Yes, you! Fourthwallwhat?
Instead of standing around by myself or creeping on my friends, I danced! There was still an issue when the DJ insisted on playing nothing but grind music, but at least I was awkward with a friend. Last week was the private school prom (Lauren had to "import" me). I think there were around 60 kids or something...pretty small. They tried to censor the music (it's a Christian school, which is sort of a joke,) but that didn't completely work. Afterwards Lauren, her friends Michelle and Katherine, and their three dates (myself included) planned to go bowling. But instead we sort of collapsed at Michelle's house until 2:30 in the morning, when I woke up long enough to drive Lauren and then myself home.
This past Saturday, however, was Prom at MY school. The beforehand was basically the same deal except with different people; lots of pictures, some car rides, and dinner. Except dinner sort of sucked and Lauren's dress had a small tear that was threatening to make her indecent. Luckily I plan on never going to that restaurant again and Mom threaded up the hole before we left to go eat.
...Wow, those ideas are completely in the wrong order.
There were a lot more kids, maybe two or three hundred. But the gym was more than big enough to handle us all...the music was about the same composition, but with much less censorship. I felt bad that we couldn't, er, participate in a lot of the...dancing? But Lauren and I sort of made up our own dance. And that was crazy.
And after THAT we headed to Meredith's house, which has a crazy backyard and a swimming pool. Even though it was kind of stuffy outside the water was about 68 degrees. We swam anyway...I and a few of the guys figured that it's the same temperature we swim at for school anyway. But we didn't stay in long because apparently nobody else is used to that. It was still nice to be woken up so thoroughly, though. I made some major splashes. Fun fun.
After we got settled in there was food and a campfire. This entertained us for a few hours. Eventually I retired to a tent and tried to go to sleep, but there were 6 guys and girls in there so we ended up talking past 5...and we woke up at 8 or so. Great time. Loved hanging out with those people.
...as of right now, I am extremely bored. My brother's playing xbox, my mom is in her room, I have exams tomorrow so of course I'm not studying, and the girl I was in the middle of a conversation with just STOPPED RESPONDING for like 15 minutes (she literally JUST answered! Creepy!). Nobody's on facebook. Seems like a good time for me to start READING THE BIBLE like I wanted to. Oh yeah. That's right! I thought of that right as it left my fingers.
Magic fingers, baby.
Also, can you tell I've been reading a LOT of Dinosaur Comics? I might have already pointed this out, but my writing style is visibly changed. If it wasn't so awesome I'd be worried that I'm so impressionable.
Sunday. 4.18.10 12:52 pm
This whole Prom thing is ridiculous. It's pretentious! It's melodramatic! It's one thing if I'm dating some chick and I want to buy her dinner and flowers and the whole nine yards, but I'm not! I'm going with a friend, which is actually what a TON of people do. And I don't mind paying for all that, not really, but I think it's weird. It kind of overlooks the whole point of those gestures being romantic and thoughtful.
Now we just do them because it's expected. Expectations! Traditions! I hate them a bit. When a society commercializes kindness then it's no longer kindness to do things like buy a girl chocolates or something like that. It's expected. Imagine if a dude buys gifts or makes a loving gesture several times a year, just because, and doesn't think Valentine's Day is anything special because, to him, every day is special. Even if he does all sorts of nice things, if he doesn't do anything on Valentine's Day then the girl is going to feel a bit miffed. And I don't blame her. It's not her fault for being miffed, it just sucks that there's a day that everyone expects a surprise.
(All of this is gender-reversible, by the way. It's just easier to type from one point of view.
Doesn't that just SOUND dumb? Expecting a surprise? And that's the best scenario. At least if they're "expecting a surprise" then the whole thing has the tiniest semblance of magic. Otherwise it's just, "OK, where is my card?"
The whole point of doing nice things for someone you care about is to NOT have a reason to do them. That is what I meant by "surprise," by the way...not that she doesn't expect it, but that there was no particular reason to do it in the first place. (It just so happens that this often is a surprise!) This should apply to basically every gift-giving holiday and partially to Prom-esque traditions. Christmas is great, but I think it's awful that people actually thing that they "owe" a present to someone. Valentine's Day? Sort of obnoxious and awkward for way too many people. Anniversaries are way more legit, but slowly also becoming Mundane over Magical with the long-past advent of the Anniversary Calendar
The mother of the girl I'm taking made it very clear that she expects me to be chivalrous. BUT IT'S NOT! Even if I was planning on being chivalrous, now everything I do is less special because it's just the norm. And worse, it will be less special when it really IS a romantic gesture (as opposed to being chivalrous, which is sort of in the middle).
This falls under the same category of The Kid Who Apologized Because You Told Him To, Saying I Love You Because She Said It/Because That's What Couples Do, and, according to Oscar Wilde, most aspects of Victorian Society.
Here's a more/less interesting topic!
I went to Georgia Tech for a legit tour yesterday. 4.5 hours driving in each direction! Crazy drivers going 30 or 40 over the speed limit! LOTS OF WALKING (it was a FANTASTIC tour though). My mom became very tired and very cranky. I just switched tenses! I may have done that a few times already, actually.
I saw Kick Ass yesterday. Pretty exciting. I just realized that one of the characters who you'd think would at least play a minor role COMPLETELY drops off the script after one appearance...if you knew the character and her relationship to the other characters, it would bother you too! But yeah I liked it a lot.
"Balls to you...
Thursday. 4.8.10 10:44 pm
...you and your lack of urgency!"
I actually said that to somebody! Well, I texted it. It still felt great. I'm pretty sure I was giggling for like six minutes.
On an almost unrelated note, girls are still weird. THE WEIRDNESS KEEPS CROPPING UP. Every time I think things are settled with somebody, somebody else gets weird! It's like Whack-a-Mole, but with girls being weird instead of mammals jumping out of the ground.
Now that I think about it, a few guys have been a bit weird lately, too. So that's a relief. Now I'm not worried about being sexist. Can't have THAT!
...that's a serious comment, not some sort of sassy reference.
I spent the night in another city with Kyle! It was pretty rad. His grandparents live in a city less than an hour away, and he was visiting, so he invited me and we drove up there. Great times. His friend Matt lives in Georgia, but also has grandparents living there (across the street, actually), and he was visiting too, so we hung out all night and the next day. We got a game of Ultimate Frisbee together with a bunch of kids from the area, and Kit and Jack drove up to join us. It was actually a lot of fun, even though it was abysmally hot and most everyone got sunburned. The one girl brought freeze-pops in a...thermo...thermos! She brought them in a thermos filled with ice water. I was pilfering some of the ice for my own water bottle when she informed me that she had mono.
"And you're drinking out of that thing?"
"You brought us freeze-pops and have them soaking in mono water?"
So yeah, I drank frozen mono water and put my mouth on a mono pop. I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE KISSED HER!
(I have been forgetting a LOT of words lately. It's a bit concerning. I had to get help with "thermos", not even kidding.)
Speaking of communicable diseases, my brother has something that resembles flu A...a few nights ago he fell asleep watching TV, and the next thing Mom and I know he's laughing/crying hysterically, not responding to anything we say or do, and burning up at 105 degrees F. So yeah. Midnight hospital run...I held down the fort here. He's fine now, maybe TOO fine, so that's good. But man, it was scary to watch him and hear him. He would laugh and then start screaming like we were stabbing him or something.
Other stuff that's happened: I went to a picnic that was almost awkward because of the small "friends to strangers" ratio. I saw The Book of Eli in theaters just a few hours ago, and that was pretty good. The twist at the end made me particularly happy...
Um! I got a new phone, right? The Samsung Impression! And it's actually really neat. Maybe I already mentioned that. Either way, I have a strong inclination to tap out some text messages now, but nobody in particular to text. It's perplexing and a bit frustrating. This is why you don't...well, nevermind that. Byebye!
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