i got a letter in the mail from Scripps Medical Center yesterday with all my test results. everything is normal. well, obviously not since my BP was through the roof just 1 week ago and my ankle and foot were grossly swollen, but at least my liver, kidneys, etc. are not about the give out on me.


i still have to follow up with my doctor, and then i'll get a referral for the weight loss specialist/endocrinologist. we'll get to the bottom of this, hopefully, eventually.


it's good to feel somewhat normal again and not be worrying that i'm going to spontaneously combust at any second.

Comment! (3) | Recommend! | Categories: health [t]

sometimes, the simplest things truly are the best. last night, i went to karaoke and just had a blast with my boyfriend and another friend, who has taken to calling me his "big sister" (i'm 10 years older than him). the 3 of us had a blast, just being silly and goofy and singing. and of course, i was at my favorite bar, where i know pretty much everyone, so that's always a plus.


just found out another one of my buddies is going to be in town today, so i hope to get to see him. he was my first best friend here in san diego, and then he just HAD to up and move to L.A. last month.


it's amazing that i actually feel GOOD today. happy. at peace. i just with my boyfriend and my "little brother" (who stayed over on the couch) would wake up so we could go get some breakfast or something. i'm STARVING.

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: life [t], fun [t]

i've got my tickets to see jimmy eat world at the house of blues in october.


next saturday, tickets go on sale for fall out boy in december. they also mentioned something about "a special surprise for our friends in california" -- i can only HOPE that there could be a DecaydanceFest here in the states, and in cali no less!

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: music [t]

well, my pee-in-a-cup results showed that i have a urinary infection, so now i'm on antibiotics for the next few days. on top of everything else.


still no blood test results back yet. but apparently i'm getting a referral to a nationally renowned weight loss specialist/diabetes specialist/endocrinologist. we don't even know what the hell is wrong with me. we just know that i've gained 50 pounds in a little over a year. sure, i go out more than i used to, but not 50 pounds worth.


fuck it. i'm going to karaoke tonight. i miss having fun, and i'm sick of laying around, sleeping and moping.

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: health [t]

oh gerard!




also, the new jimmy eat world song rocks my muthafuckin' world. that band, i swear can do no wrong.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

listening to: whatever the boyfriend is playing on itunes

mood: hyper


after all this time, you'd think there'd be some definition, some statement. you'd think it'd just be THERE and TRUE and a GIVEN. but i continually fret, and that's how i destroy everything precious to me. i've done it before, and i'll do it again, i'm sure. i can only hope that i'm wrong, so wrong.


i've never wanted anything so much in my life.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!