feeling: Serene
listening to: Covenant Under The Rainbow - Streams of Praise

...Whatever that was upsetting me from before was actually sorted out in the evening... ^^;;

Sigh, basically various misunderstandings with a friend throughout the day just caused a load of unnecessary drama, but at least it brought us closer together, methinks at least^^

And at least, everything's okay again now :)

Thanks to those who worried for me~

I've set myself various targets to achieve per week (i.e. how much German I should be listening to etc) and hopefully, I'll be on target starting next week :) My New Year's resolution tho: to speak a lot less English and a lot more German!!

That's one I'm defo gna have to stick to if I want to pass my degree^^;;

At least I've told my parents I might not manage to land an internship, which takes the pressure off my back significantly, but of course, God will lead the way. Hopefully He has something planned for me, better than anything that I could ever imagine.

He always does :)

��Kuriח

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feeling: Upset
listening to: Sufficient Grace - Amy Sand

...I Hide.

I run away.

I don't talk to anyone, no matter how much it pains me, no matter how much I want to tell people, because... who can I tell? Who can I trust?

Who can I tell, when it's meant to be a secret?

Who can I tell, when the one I usually tell is the one that's causing the pain?

And when I try to distract myself with other activities, other friends, it's so tiring.

This fa�ade is so tiring.

And when it hurts too much, I have to tell someone.

But I make up another reason, another excuse about what is troubling me.

When all is going wrong, what can I do?

Who can I turn to?

Who can I turn to but my God?

But when He leaves me to find the answer for myself........

��Kuriח

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feeling: Full~
listening to: I Want To Follow You - Amy Sand

...would help improve your German. Aber nein. If only.

I swear, the only thing I have managed to achieve fluency in is ChinGerLish. I can no longer speak decent English or Chinese and my German is still a joke. This was not supposed to happen D:

Last night my doorbell (more like the loudest farking buzzer in the world) rang at 4:30am. I went out only to find my neighbour pressing the button to unlock the front door (cos it's uni dorms).

Whoever it was obviously had obviously rung quite a few people.

I closed my door properly and locked it again and went to bed. But it took quite a while to get back to sleep. What scared me tho, was that whoever was ringing the doorbells of all my hallmates obviously had no key of their own. Therefore, they either left it in their (unlocked) room when they went out, or they don't live here at all. Meaning they were coming in to steal stuff.

I woke up and the door was not closed properly, albeit it was still locked.

Thank God it was locked.

I wonder if I should report this to the Hausmeister?

��Kuriח

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feeling: So Epically Tired
listening to: I Really Need You - Amy Sand

So I'm knackered like hell due to lack of sleep, once again...

It really does amaze me how Kpop stars manage to live on like 4-5hrs sleep a night, if even that. No wonder they keep fainting left, right and centre ><;; But, aside from that, I'm really happy^^

Really very happy <3

I had a great weekend :)

But then again, I always have loads of fun hanging out with those two haha. Ah, I should prob explain, I recently (as in, over the past few weeks) got to know a couple of people from the church in N�rnberg really well. Let's call them LT and YH.

And we get along great^^

They're so damn funny haha... and always manage to cheer me up whenever I'm down. Or just make me laugh until my stomach hurts so much I can't breathe. Either way, I really thank God for them <3

But we won't be able to mess around/play around together like that again for a while. Really have to buckle down with studies and LT's house will no longer be available for us to crash for a while.

Good thing, I guess, otherwise we were becoming a little too crazed. All this cannot be good for my health either >3

This weekend we watched R.E.D. Farking amazing film, muchos recommended!!

Okie... even tho it's only 20:42... I need sleep... G'night!

��Kuriח

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feeling: Ill
listening to: Sufficient Grace - Amy Sand

So I'm still not feeling quite well, but it's an improvement from yesterday^^ I'm skipping all my classes today though (that would be: only 2). Womanly pains are the biggest biatch in the world, I tell you D:

So tmr I aim to have my first ever blog entry on my new site posted for 11:11 on 11/11 haha. I wonder if I should write the entry earlier and set a time for it to be released, in case I miss it.

One thing that sucks about being here tho, is that so many videos are licensed and therefore 'not available in this country'. But that's ok :) I'm in a really good mood today^^

Hopefully I'll be going to watch RED with a couple of friends this weekend, really looking forward to it! It looks like such a great film haha x] I'm really thinking of watching it in English online before I tackle the film in a German cinema.

I'm too chicken to try to improve my German really. I don't dare to speak German half the time. I swear I'm getting worse at the language D: This wasn't meant to happen TT_TT

I'm also reading a book lately: The Five Love Languages For Singles by Dr. Gary Chapman. It's a really good book and does teach quite a lot, but I'm not quite sure if it lives up to the hype I've heard from it.

I'm sure there's a reason God is letting me find this book now, letting me meet the people I've met now. And the events of the past couple of weeks... It feels like He's been preparing my life, the people in my life, very carefully, for what is to come. And I feel safe.

Maybe I've finally met The One :)

L8r,

��Kuriח

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feeling: Sick
listening to: Once Again - Matt Redman

So it's been a really, really long while.

During this very long while, I have finished my second year at uni, got an average of 57.7% [2:2] and my tutor's support that I can graduate with a 2:1. I have gone back to China with my mother and sister to reunite with my father and finally, I have moved to Germany for my year abroad.

Let me tell you... living abroad alone really isn't great as it sounds. Sure, new country, new atmosphere, new sights, new culture, exciting blah blah, but it's hella lonely.

Thank God I've made a few really lovely friends here who keep me company and make me feel blessed to have them.

But as I type I am huddled up alone in my room in the dark, because I am ill and don't have the energy to move or do anything. I feel like throwing up but my body isn't quite letting me.

But today has taught me: I'm really blessed to have so many friends who really care about me over here. I swear, they're even dearer to me than most my friends back in the UK (and that would be about 1,000 odd, if we're going by Facebook).

I never thought I'd get so many get well wishes and people who really would cook for me or bring me medicine if I just said the word... I've already been given 2 invites for dinner and another friend said he'd brought me medicine, all I had to do is give him my address.

Ofc, I declined all politely, but my heart is so touched by all of this...

Thank you, God, because You know exactly how weak I am, how weak my heart is, so you have sent me all these angels to take care of me when I am in need. And I am sorry that I haven't been listening to You properly lately, but if You would please let me feel better, I promise I will go and do bible study right now...

Another thing is, I have started but not yet officially opened another blog, which has been found by another couple of friends of mine. I've never really told anyone about my blogs unless I am epically close to them. I think only Panda, Annie and maybe Shawn know about this one...

But that one, I'm thinking of telling my closer friends.

And finally, there is one thing that I'm unsure of... I hope I've matured enough, but either way, I will just let God lead me. I know He is watching over me :)

If there's one good thing that has come out of this year, it's that my relationship with God is now a lot closer. When I am alone and crying silently in my room at night, I know He is holding me close.

��Kuriח

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