what should i do with my PPS?

i need to put them to a good cause. no one accepted my challenge in NWF, no one accepted my PPS opportunity.

they are USELESS!!! *burns PPS*

they don't go away!!! *napalms PPS*

on a lighter note, my arm feels slightly better than it did yesterday. i don't know if i mentioned it here, but it was aching pretty awfully. i even left work early just so i could rest it. i instead ended up taking my sis to get her car, and playing super smash bros melee with kit.

oh! i saw niki's little sis, chrissy, play some violin at a concert last night. actually, i only heard it, as there were two tall people standing right in front of me. really? standing room only, for an elementary school concert?

anyways, i could at least comprehend 1/2 of the songs they were "playing." i'll leave it at that.

at least the violinists trumped the full band. the full band SUCKED. i know they are in elementary school, and yeah, we should all be supportive, but it's called PRACTICE!!! helloooooo!

some of the kids were clearly holding one note the whole time, and just playing it in tune with the song. that just sounds awful. those kids are obviously being forced to play, and should give up, as if i meet them face to face their musical dreams will be obliterated.

i mean... um... good job!

chrissy did fine though. so did the other strings players.

tonight, i'm going to see the transiberian orchestra. if you don't know who they are, then you're a deprived person. see you in the aftermath...

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i think that i have come to the conclusion that i hate doctors. i am not sure why... it may be because of that hemmorhage i had. i just realize that i get hurt a lot, and i don't ever go to the doctors.

the last time i worked up the gut to see a doctor (i went to see a neurologist because i get frequent headaches every day) he told me that it wasn't a serious condition, and there's nothing i can do about it. thanks, doc. oh yeah, then i got charged an arm an a leg for his words of (non)advice.

before that, i saw a doctor because i was having chest pains (this was following some sort of allergic reaction i got from eating some fucked up spicy chocolate). she told me to get an xray. i got one, and the xray showed nothing. she said don't worry about it, nothing is on the xray. thanks, doc. then, i got charged by her for HER words of (non)advice, immediately followed by a bill for the xray.

before that, i saw a dotor because i felt like i broke a toe in my foot playing soccer(a foot specialist...whatever you call them). i happened to wear flip flops to the doctor's appointment, and he said it's because i wear flip flips, so stop wearing flip flops. thanks, doc. then he gave me a bill for HIS words of (non)advice.

i know what you're thinking: don't you have health insurance? YES. yes, i do. but for some reason, i keep getting charged for these visits. i didn't even get any information that helped me.

actually, the most recent doctor i saw was from me dislocating my shoulder in ocean shitty, whoops, city, maryland. i went to the hospital and they popped it back into place, and instantly my pain was gone. finally! a doctor's visit that i was okay with... be it unscheduled.

...few days later i got a bill for the 8 mile ambulance ride ($200) and the two seconds of them fixing my shoulder ($300).

i guess i deserved that. after all, they gave me painkillers and morphene. oh wait, no they didn't.

i think maybe my issue is with the insurance company i have, not with the doctors themselves...

(given the choice, i would still not vote for a government owned health policy though. obama can suck it. that's right, i went political.)

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i was eating a chocolate bar this morning, and on the front it said "world's finest chocolate."

so, naturally, i had higher expectations than normal chocolate. i took a bite, and it was awful.

so, outloud, i said "agree to disagree."

then i realized that i will probably end up using that phrase a lot with inanimate or nonliving objects. or animals. like, if my dog has an accident on the carpet, the dog may think that they are allowed to do that, so i will say "agree to disagree."

it's gonna be a thing.

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i suddenly got this really bad sinking feeling in me.

i've been thinking a lot about a lot of things. my job (or so called career), my colleagues, my friends, my girlfriend. i have a lot going on in every aspect.

do you ever get so much stress that you stuff it all into your pocket, and then when that pocket is full, you stuff it into another, until all of your pockets are overflowing, and you have no where else to put it? i've been very stressed out lately. and it's gotten to the point where i don't let it bother me. but, is that a good thing?

when i leave work, i don't let it bother me. i laugh it off, or vent it out, and then that's it. that doesn't help me not get paid more, or get more respect here. that's just an example.

i'm holding on to my life like the pin of a hand grenade.

so what do i do? do i continue doing what i'm doing, or do i take drastic changes that will effect everything i know?

i want to pull my own hair out.

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i haven't been blogging as often as i'd like. not sure why. guess i just have actual things going on at work.

but nothing important. training, getting pissed at customers, giving people a lot of money, etc.

i'll update later, if i feel like it. sorry, 'tangers. i'll open up soon enough.

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i made a flash application that has this little robot that displays emotion based on what you click. maybe i'll upload it here at some point. the good news is that corporate at my job wants to use it in a presentation for some new program that all of the employees are gonna use. um, hell yeah? i'm writing this on my performance review next year as a sweet contribution to the company.

oh, and i want a raise. is that too much to ask?

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