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100 Ways I Perceive Myself
Wednesday. 8.11.10 5:15 pm
I just got back from Utah! It was photo-fantastic!


1. Sometimes when I say something crazy or mean and people say, "Are you serious?" I don't know what to say.
2. My contempt of popular culture stems from the fact that most of it is too simple. Simple and shallow.
3. I subscribe to stereotypes. There, I said it. The fact is, they're usually pretty accurate.
4. I don't drink or smoke and I don't plan on it.
5. It's partly for religious reasons, partly because I've never felt the need to "upgrade" my fun, and partly because I'm pretty sure I have a super addictive personality.
6. Everybody thinks I'm pretty good guy, but unless I'm trying really hard I will be a selfish, manipulative jerk when the situation presents itself.
7. Between #5 and #6, I'd be a huge mess if it weren't for God. For real, my life would suck and it would be my fault.
8. I'm sad because the friends I leave behind at GT have been a huge part of my life.
9. I'm not sad because I know we'll keep in touch and I'm looking forward to the awesome people in my future.
10. I try to impress my personality on everything I write or say.
11. I really really like chocolate chip cookies, especially when they are warm and moist.
12. I think it goes without saying that I love reading. Science Fiction is my poison of choice.
13. I appreciate immature humor but I really like high-brow stuff more. I think Internet memes are a strange combination of both.
14. I was making fun of my friend for being picky about girls, but then it occured to me that I've only "gone steady" with one girl all of high school.
15. I can't imagine what life would be like if my dad weren't dead. It's a strange train of thought.
16. I have what I think is a healthy appreciation of morbidity. Healthy, because I don't let it guide my life.
17. I think Stephen King's The Dark Tower is much better than Harry Potter.
18. Overused repetition bothers me. It bothers me in songs, in poetry, and on test answers. I interuppted the string of "I" on purpose.
19. Being on a constant hugging basis with all these girls is totally awesome.
20. The best person to make laugh is Keener.
21. My favorite things are irony and contrasts. I find them funny and poingnant, respectively.
22. Life is best when it is simple, or at least systematic.
23. That's why I like learning about physics.
24. When I become overwhelmed, I shut down.
25. My favorite things to photograph are colorful landscapes with interesting shapes.
26. It is very rare that I "artistically" photograph a person other than myself.
27. I photograph myself a lot, both artistically and otherwise. Mostly otherwise.
28. I like a challenge.
29. My dad's name is my name, and vice-versa.
30. I'm not an artist or a writer but I kind of wish I was.
31. Being cold is better than being hot.
32. Pain doesn't bother me that much. What really freaks me out is the thought of damage to my body.
33. I can never get away from Emily because we're Universe Twins.
34. Digimon was cooler than Pokemon. And might I say, BETTER WRITTEN?
35. Cheating bothers me. Especially when other people do it. Especially CHEATING AT LIFE.
36. Palmetto Boys State 2009 was off the chain!
37. Even though I try to take life seriously, I go through phases of interest like most other teenagers.
38. I used to go through phases of musical intersest as well, but then I found Dream Theater and settled down with certain styles and sounds.
39. I don't really get excited or anxious about stuff. When I do I feel nauseous, though.
40. My immune system is a beast.
41. I appreciate things being "natural." I like home remedies, Vibram Five-Fingers, and freeware. I don't care about "organic" food though.
42. I am very easily distracted and I dislike doing work on my own time.
43. I am very simplistic
44. I don't always do things the easy way, I do them the fun way.
45. If I make up a series of something it has to be three items long or it will bother me.
46. I know that I am a hypocrite.
47. When I talk, half of what I say is expressed through diction and facial expression.
48. If I had to choose a mental disorder, I'd take mild Synthaesia.
49. I love analogies. The relationships between concepts and/or ideas makes my brain hum.
50. I visualize stories as I read/hear them or write/tell them.
51. I'm like a less mustached version of my dad.
52. I hate having bad habits, and I hate that I love them.
53. The number 19 reminds me of the Dark Tower. Oh, Discordia!
54. When I swim I pretend I can fly.
55. I've probably sat in more male laps than female.
56. A guy and a girl can totally be friends and not get romantic. Just look at my youth group.
57. I don't wear Vibrams because they're more comfortable. I wear them because when I hike in them my feet blast past 110 degrees F. and it makes me a man.
58. Even though I really am nosy, I do keep up with people because I want to be there for them.
59. The Simpsons is better than Family Guy.
60. I take this thing way too seriously.
61. Almost every cut or scrape I aquire becomes a scar.
62. I don't smell like deoderants or anti-prespirants because I don't wear any. And nobody notices.
63. Never had a surgery, unless you count the dentist appointments, and that was only for a cap.
64. Never broken a bone.
65. I want to go skydiving even though half of the attraction was that nobody does it. (it's getting popular)
66. That parenthetical insertion bothers me because it's grammatically incorrect but I'm too tired at the moment to fix it. Plus I get a fact about it.
67. It's funny that 33% is considered one third, but if you multiply it out the connection falters. 33%, 67%, 100%. What is that?

That's funny, right?

68. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still don't really know, I guess.
69. My parents were both engineers. It wasn't until highschool that I crossed that off my list of Things To Aspire To.
70. The connection between consciousness and physical phenomena strikes me as vaguely romantic.
71. I use "romantic" in the broader sense of the word. I don't mean having to do with love or sex or something.
72. I laugh at laughter.
73. Attention to small details can really make any artistic expression better.
74. I'm pretty clueless about girls.
75. Everything in moderation.
76. After I excersize really hard and my muscles are sore I think it feels good. It just doesn't feel like bad pain.
77. One time my shoulder started grating in its socket during a swim practice and that freaked me out more than any soreness I had ever had.
78. I love the movies I grew up with.
79. I can be easily impressed.
80. Man I am so paranoid of people I don't trust.
81. I don't trust a lot of people, but I would put with anything from the ones I do.
82. I admire hackers for their skill.
83. I had blond, wavy/curly hair when I was little.
84. My prefered state of dress is none at all.
85. But super casual is also good.
86. I am pretty lucky.
87. I don't like a lot of the newer FPS games like Call of Duty. Halo is fun. Half Life 2 is fun. Gears of War is not.
88. I usually run my Windows XP computer without "Explorer.exe" That's right, I live on the edge.
89. I want to learn Saurus.
90. I have taken around 9,900 photographs and videos. That's like 40.5 gigs.
91. I make little programs for fun sometimes. My next project is a morse code translator and then a stutter generator.
92. I really like Android and HTC makes a sweet phone.
93. I like English.
94. Mixing foods is a very precise art. Sometimes it goes wrong, but usually it's delicious.
95. I thought The Spirit was offensively stupid.
96. After visiting Atlanta I realized that I'm sort of a country boy.
97. Entertaining myself is never a problem. Always something to read, watch, or at the very least think about.
98. My bed is the same Twin sized frame that I've slept in since the cradle, cramped into the corner of my room. My feet hang off the edge a bit. I want to keep it forever.
99. One of my favorite movies ever is Ink, which I watched recently. It really blew me away.
100. My favorite color is purple mixed with dark blue.

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Thursday. 7.22.10 10:13 am
You know, Hulk (2003 [I feel like I have to specify because people like to pretend this movie was never made]) is a very strange movie. The effort put into making it look and feel like a comic strip come off badly, I think. I'm always bad at discussing acting quality, but frankly the main character was a pansy man. It was just...awkward. One of my favorite awkward parts is right after Bruce has transformed into the Hulk in the lab, and the next day Betty is at his house asking him what happened, and all he tells her is that he could feel his heart beating, slow and strong. He makes these faces when he tries to imitate the effect, completely deadpan, and it's just...sort of hilarious. Anyway! That's what I was just thinking of. ka-THUMPppffmfmosfasf

So, during my last semester of school I took a Photoshop class. And I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I have a free trial of CS5 waiting for download eventually, and I plan on buying it 80% off as a student when I get a laptop. I think to celebrate I will make a new layout. I already have an idea or two. I also would like to take some programming classes, so maybe I can break away from the nutang order of things, like Muffy did.

One of the revelations I have endured (yes) has to do with so called "one-sided relationships." It is thus: If I am going to consistently snub somebody, whether purposefully or not, then I need to learn to just deal if somebody does it to me instead. I mean, I'm sitting here complaining about someone being a bad friend, and then I go on to be a TERRIBLE friend to someone else. That is the worst way to be.

So first I'll learn to sit and take it. A bad friend isn't worth keeping; that's what I keep telling people, so it's about time I adopted the same idea. Soon I hope to learn to fix the other side of the issue and not be such a let-down to people. But that's harder so it'll have to wait.

tee hee

A somewhat close friend of mine seems to have rediscovered the Bible. She's getting excited about it. She's been having video-chat Bible studies with her friend from out of town, and asking me about the sermons from Horizon and stuff. She being excited is rubbing off on me, and I gotta say that it is quite refreshing. I had already started my own little process, but now I have someone to discuss it with, and that makes it better. Fellowship! And I daresay the best kind.

My dog is laying in my room and sneezing incessantly. And I can't just hear the sneeze itself, she's also adding a bit of her voice to it. I do love me some doggy.

OK now she's sniffing the door to take a pee. >.<

It's nice to meet new people. Last night we had this year's Fire Night and we had three near strangers attending on account of one of them is dating my good friend. Anyway, it turns out they're actually NOT near strangers! I am, in fact, one of the only people there who did not know one or more of them. It's weird to think about! All this time we've been so close to knowing each other. Makes me wonder about all the people I could possibly know.

Makes me wonder about...physics! Going off to GT soon for orientation. Oh man oh man oh man I don't get excited but I'm sort of excited.

Anyway, great fun times last night. I met some new people, hung out with people like Natty whom I haven't really interacted with in a while, and friggin' cooked some hotdogs on coat hangers. Quality experiences.

Almost every thing that my mom does is completely stressing me out. Everything. Get me out of here.

And on that note, I must finish this up because my stream of consciousness has been interrupted.

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Monday. 7.19.10 9:50 am
It's like this:


Probably more later. A lot later.

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The Count of Tuscany
Monday. 6.21.10 12:24 pm
Hey, so, I guess I'm back or something.

Things to get out of the way: apparently a certain woman whom I have not had the pleasure of meeting or, in fact, knowing at all, seems to still find herself reading my personal entries. I do not especially appreciate her presence because it makes me want to censor myself in case my words are used against others. The fact that she seems to think that is OK only makes it worse.

Plus girls have cooties. AM I RIGHT FELLAS?

OK so some crazy stuff has happened since my last post. Are you ready? Ready, Captain!

I got a job! Hooray for late bloomers! I am a lifeguard at a neighborhood pool. I've been doing it for about 2.5 weeks and I already know most of the kids by face, some even by name. I already have preteen admirers! It's adorable! It's a one-guard pool so I have to do everything myself, but I've always been one to have an appreciation for solitude, so that's OK. I'm already a few shades more tan, and I just sit shirtless under the umbrella most of the time! The two downsides are boredom and having to sit in that awfully uncomfortable guard chair. Plus having kids (and some parents) disregard my commands. Bah. They're paying me, so har har.

I graduated! There is actually a lot less to tell. I graduated. I kept making the joke, "I don't FEEL any older!" even though it wasn't that funny. The whole thing was, well, uncomfortably warm. But I graduated! That's supposedly a big deal! Katie texted me during the ceremony to inform me that she was watching me graduate on live TV. Thanks for creepin'!

A lot of my Puerto Rican family came to visit and stayed with us a while...Grandpa has cancer, and he wasn't doing very well. Grandma and her mum were here, and of course they were as sprightly as ever. Tio Mario visited with his family from Virginia, and Tia Ivonne came from New York. She's a lot easier to pick out now (Mom has 3 sisters) because she let her hair go grey. It looks really cool, actually.

My youth pastor and his new wife left the youth group for him to go to Seminary. It's something he told us about a few months ago, but it's still sad. We gave them a few gifts, and mine was...well, I etched another glass. This one was bigger than my last: 18 x 10 inches. Also the design I etched was WAY more intricate and detailed than my last...I took a picture of them holding hands, and, well, I'll show you when I get it up on DeviantART. Anyway, I stuck that in a picture frame over top of a photo of most of the group together at church after our annual Youth Sunday. I kind of regret sticking it with a photo, because the two detract from each other. But I figure they can separate them into two frames if they really want to. and I'm very proud of my work! I may decide to do it to make some quick cash some time. It's pretty fun and not a lot of people do it! I wonder how much a hand made, personalized glass etching can go for. Questions for later!

I went to my last Horizon as a student. Honestly, if I'm going to divide the experience into parts, I gotta say God was the best part of the trip. To be fair, God is always the best part of the trip. But my friendships don't usually fare very badly! Except this year...a lot of my close friends didn't come! People were working or at the beach or something and it makes me sad. In fact, we had a very small group this year, and without Charlie as our leader it was kind of weird. Weird but good! Zach, the new leader, did just fine and I am very happy to leave the youth in his large and capable hands. But still it was weird. The speakers were Dr. Mark Ross (the third time I've heard him!) and Pastor Rick Phillips, who is also a marriage counselor. Good stuff abounded! The topics were controversial and I think both speakers did a fair job of not stepping on toes or being TOO awkward. I took like 375 pictures/videos, which is sort of nuts, and I took extra notes because I was curious about Relationships and Christian Ethics. Tada controversial!

Other stuff: My brother is being a jerk-face again, I talked on the phone for seriously four hours or something last night, my friends will all be home from vacations by Wednesday, and tomorrow I will ONCE AGAIN meet my Universe Twin!

Haha who is your universe twin Stevie?

She was conceived around when I was born.
So obviously we have to be friends.

I don't think I quite understand, Sir.

Which part?

ny of it

Her parents were MAKING HER around the time I was being born.


give or take 2 days, I figure.


Once we figured this out we were bonded forever.
That and a whole lot of other random coincidences make us Universe Twins.

So you're having lunch with your Universe Twin tomorrow?

Not lunch. Probably just gonna hang out at the park.
She wants to hear about the sermons from Horizon.
She might not even want to come out.

to the sun?

To people.
She's shy.
She is likely to be too afraid of me to come out.

Then assure her you won't bite silly boy

She knows I don't bite.
Who bites?
I'll tell you.

I bite.
Guess that makes me a rapist.

Yeah basically.

----This post took me almost exactly an hour to write. Whee next day!

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