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I haven't eaten in a year! Or something.
Thursday. 7.10.08 1:26 pm
Almost like pyrogrl12's entry on esteem and body image and how it's no ones business but your own, but not quite?

But first, some background.

Quite some time ago, I was numerically obese. By a whole .2 on the BMI scale! Whoaaaaaa! Moo! Oink! (other disparaging anti-fat remarks here, including that backing-up warning beep).

Quite some time longer ago than that, my mom decided that she had ... issues. I've griped about them before.

Some time inbetween the two events, my mom decides to take her issues out on me. I've already realized that it seems mental illness runs in my mom's side of the family, and I'd like to stay as far away from those issues as possible.

Nope. Zomgah don't eat that, you will get fat. Zomgah blahblahblah. Wonderful growing up with mother who thinks you are garmonguous, even though you are quite... underweight. On top of this, of course everyone decides to point out that "whoa what is going on?" and poking and grabbing things and such. WTF, that's mine! Hands off! I totally should have bitten people.

Of course, between "zomgah don't eat that" and such, I ate many times more of it than I should have, and puberty and college were oh so generous with their gifts of womanly curves, yes, that's it, "womanly curves". The kind that apparently make you look pregnant (even though you have never even had a boyfriend, or been kissed, or anything like that), which is totally someone else's business for them to go ask my parents about. "No, she's just fat". Thanks.

Now the kvetching.

Between quite some time ago and now, I have fallen victim to my mother, her crazy, the media, its crazy, and who the hell else knows what. I am no longer... large Marge in charge, at the risk of a bit of sanity that I'd like to think I'm pretty good at holding on to. Some days it gets away, that sanity, and I find myself wearing a bit of my mother's crazy.

Anyway, no longer "obese", but merely overweight, and then "normal", I figure it's great, maybe people will STFU and go away. They won't poke at me and my bits anymore, grabbing handfuls and going "zomgah what's this" or such. Perhaps I can wear my shirts, or some pants, without hearing all of the bullshit that people like to give you.

Oh, was I right. Oh so right. It seems like even more people want to pay attention to things now. It's wonderfully awkward.

"You're looking great!" Um, ok? I wasn't before? Thanks...

"You've lost weight, haven't you?" Actually, yes. Yes I have. I can't seem to find it, do you know where it's gotten off to? It answers to "glorb." How the fuck do you answer this question without coming off as snooty and full of yourself? What kind of question is this to someone you haven't seen in a while? Couldn't "you look well/healthy" suffice? Is it even that important to point out?

"What did you do so I can do it?" Um... I fought a bit of crazy off with a stick, and now I've got a small shield holding it at bay? Do you want some crazy? I'll gladly give it to you. Here, have some extra crazy on top of that. I've got more than enough to go around. Of course then, since you have achieved the USA-ian holy grail, also known as weight loss, EVERYONE wants to pay attention to what/how you eat, and then comment on it. It's my plate, EYES OFF! You like this thing that I don't want? Have it. Please don't say "zomg no wonder, you aren't eating _____!" Of course I'm not eating it, I don't want it! If I do want it, I'll eat it, yes, I know, it's horrible for me and will go straight to my large, fleshy parts.

"You're tiny!" No. I'm not. Even without the crazy, I'm not "tiny", maybe smaller than the average, but not "tiny". Especially to someone who is taller, probably has kids, and isn't all that large themselves. Tiny is Jaslene Gonzales or Nicole Richie. Maybe even the Olsen twins. Tiny are the people that I would worry if they got caught in a strong crosswind. You'd never see them again! I'd like to think that I am healthily built, though I will agree that my frame is small. I'll also give them that compared to the city/county/state/country/world/solar system/galaxy/universe, I am tiny.

And my absolute favorite: "what, did you not eat for a year or something?" Consider the aforementioned crazy, and it's associated upbringing. As often as I dislike my mother, I find this sort of comment slightly offensive. What am I supposed to say? "I appreciate your attempt at flattery, but my mother is ill, and I'm trying to work doubly hard so I don't fall into it too." That just kills any sort of positivity in that statement, and is slightly rude. Yes, I am smaller than I was a year ago. It happens.

What do you reply to these people? I mean, sure, I can't deny that at some point in my life I was larger, but whose business is it other than my own? I do something so hopefully people won't keep commenting, and they just comment even more. Woo. At least my mom has stopped bitching at me.

Maybe I'll start telling people that I used tapeworms or cut off my third arm or have some sort of serious illegal drug habit. Maybe I engage in a bit of Pica. I sold both of my kidneys and my bladder to science. I had a few ribs removed. Who knows. Ooh! I'll tell them my TB went active, and now I've got consumption.

Can I have my body and not have people comment on it?

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Weddings, Joy.
Wednesday. 7.9.08 12:57 pm
I don't know anyone getting married, so the title... I don't know.

I found this article, Keeping the Rings Safe, about keeping the wedding ring from getting lost when the ring bearer is bringing it up.

It reminded me of a story I read a long while ago, where the kid thought he was the "ring bear", and danced around going "RAWR!".

I think if I ever get married, I'm going to have the kid dress up in a bear in a suit outfit, so he can be the ring bear... and prance around going RAWR. Maybe I'll give him a little honey pot to keep the ring in or something.

But not Pooh, I don't much care for Pooh. Maybe the kid will just have this mask.

Speaking of bears, I saw a girl wearing an emo carebear shirt today. It was... interesting. I also saw a Guidette... from NJ. She was a bit creepy.

Speaking of care bears... Wtf?
They have it for adults too...

This beard is pretty cool.

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Pork Skins and Bad Movies.
Sunday. 7.6.08 7:41 pm
Browsing reddit, one of the many places I procrastinate, I came across an article entitled The All-American Stomach: For Our Country's Sakeā€”Stop Eating Like a Commie.

While the list is rather disgusting, I've always been intrigued by Jell-o salad. Lettuce and tomato in gelatin? WTF? It befuddled me way back when I was volunteering/candystriping at a hospital, and I'd forgotten about it until now.

Then I read about the microwavable pork skins, something I've wanted to try for ages. I don't know where to find them in this part of the state, so I figured I would settle for plain ol' pork skins, like my mom used to buy. Then I worried that hrm, this area is pretty pretentious, I might have to do a bit of searching to find the pork skins. Then I remembered that you can sometimes get them at a fair! But there were none. :( I got some BBQ-flavored ones at Walmart today, and oooh are they tasty and just what I wanted.

So, on to the bad movies. On Friday? Thursday? I went to the mall with a friend. We weren't going to really buy anything, but I ended up buying Barbie necklaces that I'd been ogling for quite some while at Hot Topic, two bad horror movies, and a docudrama about the 1972 Olympics.

So the two bad horror movies. The first was Candy Stripers. I used to candystripe, so it had a certain appeal, on top of the bad cover art, stereotypically hot women, and attempt at being a zombie movie. It even starred former Playboy Playmates!

Oh, but was it bad. They discovered you could kill the zombie-women (highlight for spoiler, haha)using insulin. INSULIN! They were wielding air-injector guns, and syringes, and at one point just smashed the vial on one of the girls' head, and they did this crazy photoshop bending-thing before they died! The effects... were hilariously bad. It's one of those movies that's bad, but takes itself too seriously.

I also got The Woods. Much better than Candy Stripers. It had a firecrotch, and lesbian undertones, and crazy old bats, and I should really be doing my homework. So I will.

There were even several catfights, and oh the part where firecrotch punched one of the girls, and there was a massive catfight, and then she headbutted the other girl! It was great.

Okay back to work.

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FAIR!
Saturday. 7.5.08 9:35 pm
So today Dave and I went to the local fair.

It was fun. The shady clerk lady didn't give me my change, and so I lost 5 dollars. :/ She appeared too busy to be paying attention, so I wanted to skedadle, which is why I guess I didn't realize it until later. Oh well, I made sure to get at least 5 extra dollars worth of fun and animal petting and so.

We got on one of those Gravitron space ship spinny rides, and the kid, he waits until it's just strong enough to hold him up, and lays along three of the boards. It was pretty funny. Before that, they had to stop the ride early so a guy could go hurl.

There was a lady on one of the rides who was freaking the bejeebus out, that was hilarious. There were kids on all of the rides screaming, where screaming totally wasn't necessary. :/

I got feed some ducks! That was fun, except duck food and my hand apparently look exactly the same. There was an emo duck in the back corner, I felt bad for it, so I threw it some food.

There was a petting zoo, and I got to see a camel and a zebra and a cow and a buffalo and baby chickens and large rodents (which I have remembered to be Cavies, according to wiki, more specifically Maras) that looked rather scared, and CRAZY goats. Then again, goats are always crazy. I was feeding two goats, a little goat and a bigger, horned goat. The little goat tries to get a bit of food, and the bigger goat headbutts it! I felt bad for the little goat. The rodents seem to appreciate me lobbing a bit of food in their direction.

Dave got me a bag of kettle corn, and we played the shoot-the-star-out game, I did better than Dave :D The laser sights were off, though.

There was a National Guard truck offering free photographs, which seemed seriously shady. They also seemed to be using "graphic war violence" video to lure people in to be interested.

The Navy had a bomb-bot running around and harassing some kids, which was amusing, except when a kid (or adult, I don't remember) goes "ZOMG 'TAR WALLE"

No. It is NOT Wall-E. It is a bomb-diffusing robot. If it gets blown up, it doesn't fall apart. Poor bomb-bots or any other robot that has treads, they will now be known as "zomg tar wall-e yall". :(

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Oatmeal.
Saturday. 7.5.08 12:32 pm
I've taken to eating oatmeal for breakfast.

I normally don't eat breakfast, and I normally don't eat oatmeal, but I realized there were two boxes sitting around, so perhaps they should be eaten. I don't want to leave them when I move, but I don't want to throw them away.

One box is disgusting Kroger brand Cinnamon Roll. I figured since I couldn't get to Walmart to get their Cinnamon Roll oatmeal, Kroger brand should work just fine. It's still cheaper than Quaker, and hopefully it would be similar to the Walmart kind, being the "store brand". I made it, and it had this AWFUL aftertaste to it... Now that I think about it, I haven't written Kroger to ask about that. I'll make a bowl tomorrow and see how it goes. I don't like the Quaker brand, even when I make it the way I like my oatmeal (Just enough water to hold it together, so I end up with clumps of crunchy-ish but not dry oatmeal) it's still too soft. Perhaps I am weird, but I like my oatmeal to have more texture than "lumpy".

Either way, I have the Kroger Cinnamon Roll, and a box of ... oatmeal. Some Weight Control Maple/Brown Sugar my friend gave me a long time ago. Remnants of a box of fruit and cream (blueberry, peach, banana). A packet of Quaker cinnamon roll.

The fruit and cream oatmeals are much better than I thought they would be, though lacking a bit in fruit chunks.

At least they aren't grits... Grits are gross.

Haha, I'm reading the Wiki on Cuisine of the Southern United States. In the Traditional Southern Breakfast section, it says: "Breakfast is an extremely important meal in the South. Southerners will often eat breakfast at all hours of the day due to its popularity."

I like breakfast, and I like it all hours of the day. But this is a ridiculously sweeping generalization. Besides, sausage, bacon, and pancakes are awesome, even if they are veggie sausage and bacon! I should buy some veggie bacon soon.

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More video goodness.
Sunday. 6.8.08 2:17 am
Zatch bell is an Awesome show. Capital 'A' awesome, yes.

What proves this? First, Very Melon. Now..



Never Say Boing!

I love how Zatch sings and dances with anyone, regardless of if they are a villain or not...

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