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expectations
Friday. 4.15.11 1:20 pm
so last night, I went to hollywood to go clubbing. Honestly, not a great idea, as much as I thought it would be.

I've only been clubbing twice, (this being my second time), and I do not think I ever want to go back. The first time was fun, at a gay bar where everyone was pretty much just dancing with each other, and it looked pretty consensual. The second time, beign yesterday night, was horrid.

I am not want to freak dance anyways, I really just like dancing, with no body parts on my behind, or in my front thank you very much. But it's fine if other people do it, just not to me.

But last night was fun, it really was. Up until ofcourse, we saw a girl and this guy dancing hardcore. At first we were like "eeww, how can a girl dance like that with a guy?!" Then we saw her face, and how dazed she looked. We also saw her trying to push the guy off, but he would keep dancing with her. She was too weak to push him off, so she just kept dancing with him. Then what does the guy do? bring his friends and share her between the three of them to dance with her!! URGH!

So my room mate pulls her aside, and just asks her if she is ok. She says she is, but that she can't find her friend. So we told her she can dance with us. As she does, the guys pull her back, and we find her friend. I try to pull the girl back, because the guys were dancing her away from us, and she was trying to push them away again. So then her friends saw me trying to pull her away, and the friend asks me "what's wrong?" and I tell her that she is drunk, and that I didn't think she wanted to dance with those guys. So then, her friends decided to take her home.

It was just really disgusting, to see pigs take advantage of a girl when she is drunk. yeah, she made a bad decision, but that was really rude of the guys to force her into dancing with her. After that happened, the club was ruined.

However, walking around Hollywood was AWESOME. It was beautiful, and the weather at night was nice. It wasn't too cold to walk around, even if it was 2 in the morning! :D

It was beautiful, and my roommate and I promised that we would go back to Hollywood together!

And here is a picture I took of Hollywood that night:



And to end this blog, I would like to say, that my expectations of clubbing was shattered. But that's ok, it just reminded me that I should never go back! :D

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spring is in the air!
Thursday. 4.14.11 1:28 am
i really don't get it. it's the spring blues for those who are single. At least, for myself and others around me.

First semester of school, everyone is set on being single, because they want to be able to flirt with each other. Little do they know, the flirting brings relationships. And then, everyone who flirted with each other are together by second semester. You see couples everywhere, and all those who didn't flirt are left to see PDA all over the place.

Problem? I hate knowing that I really want a boyfriend right now. I sound SO lame. I talked to my room mates about it, and she says that's just how it is sometimes. Our hormones tell us it's time to have babies, so of course my hormones are telling me to find a companion. (Not that i want to have babies, or do any act that causes babies to be made).

Also, there is this saying on campus. it is "ring by spring". Basically, you meet a person your freshman year, you get with them by sophomore or junior year, and by senior year, the guy proposes by spring semester. Then you get married over the summer, and have a happy life with them forever. It's pretty much the life of a Christian Campus I believe. As if it isn't pressure enough to have a boyfriend, they have this saying that breathes into the minds of us girls. GAH, stop brain washing meeee.

And yes, my school holds bridal shows. Different wedding venues and wedding dress companies come to my school once a year-in the SPRING- to sell to women who are getting married soon! yippie!

Sorry, very rant-ful tonight. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hate knowing that I actually desire to be with someone, when there is so much to be done in my own life. I want to finish school first, and I want to be financially stable. I want to make sure that my future husband is the next guy that i date. And in general, I don't want to open up to someone, because then they have the ability to hurt me.

It's really lonely. Especially, when you see girls skipping down the walkway holding hands with their boyfriends.

Honestly though, I am not ready. I want to be spiritually fit with God, and I honestly want the guy to be spiritually on fire for God as well. Right now, I am struggling with my faith. I'm apathetic, and that isn't the condition that I want my heart to be in when I meet this guy. I want it to be brand new and whole, and personally, I feel only God can heal my heart to be brand new.

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