Friday. 9.28.12 1:56 am
I feel like I am the master of cling right about now.
Which is funny, because I hate when people are clingy >.>
But it is a fact at the moment. I am being a clingy monster, desiring more than what I should. I over think things way too much, and I over react over simple actions. I hate that this is what I have become. Or well, that I am letting that part of me out.
I wish I wasn't so vulnerable, and I wish I didn't open myself up as much as I have. I know that this will end in complete failure. But I know at the end of the day, that it's okay if it ends in complete failure. Because deep down, I have two voices.
1. You deserve better.
2. You aren't good enough.
And these two voices tell me two different things. But I know the first is 100% true, and the second, is my insecurities tearing me apart. I liked to be liked, and if I don't feel liked, I think I am not good enough. But contrary to that though, I am good enough. So "good" enough, that I deserve to not settle for this. I have to remember this, and not blow things out of proportion.
I want to keep you around for fun, but I don't want to fall deeper into this mess. Let's hope I find the balance.
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Wednesday. 9.19.12 1:20 am
I am a horrible person.
I know what I want, and I know what I don't.
And I know what I need, and I know what will hurt me.
And so, in the process of my choosing, i put others down, lift myself up, and realize that my actions are just as bad as theirs.
So, I said girls aren't action figures right?
Well, guys aren't either.
bleh, i'm such a speck of dirt.
rats.
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