If I don't say this now
Sunday. 10.5.08 5:06 am
I read in an article that the average age that the majority of people are married by is 26.
My usual thought was, "...okay. NEXT! What else is there interesting?"
But I didn't keep going. I didn't more right on to something else to read. There was a pause, not a long pause. Nothing that anyone would have noticed or paid attention to. Had my thoughts been public and heard out loud, most people wouldn't have caught it. But there it was. A tiny something. Something that didn't spring up on me until hours later, like bad chinese food.
Rather, I DO care. I just turned 22 and it's all hitting me now. Everything that I've gone through and lost. A friend of mine's cousin just died. He was 22, as well. One of my old best friend's/ex is getting married in a month or so. And now I apparently have 4 years before I become part of a minority based on relationship status, even more so than now.
I don't want to care about such things. It upsets me even just thinking that I care. But what can I do? I'm so screwed up half of the time. I don't want to screw anyone else up. And people are so happy, SO happy, not to be with me. I really am the good luck chuck.
So, what do I do? What does this mean?
Sunday. 10.5.08 4:44 am
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