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There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast foods.
Days of the year

January 2020

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So then...
Sunday. 1.7.07 1:37 pm
Life...is being....blurry.

Ok, so I've got issues. Things I need to work on, and work out. All I have to do is muster the courage. I thought about it the other day - there's never a good time to tell someone something bad. It's always inopprotune. So, why not now? Why not this month? This week? This day? I mean, all you're doing is putting stuff off and taking away time from the 'healing' process. Sort of like ripping off a band-aid. Quick and painful, but the sooner you do it - the better it'll feel(ish).

Went to church today. To a christan church...in Laredo. There was alot going on inside my head - alot I have to sit down and analyze (at which, I'm not very good). I decided to go to Grace Bible Church. My long time friend and neighbor Christie has been going there for years. When I was smaller - I went to Bible vacation school there. I know some of the people that attend (though not very well) and I'd like to get involved somehow. I don't quite know how though. In any case, the message that they're going to be talking about is convientely one that I really need to hear. 'God's will for us'. It's an intresting concept and one that i'd like to discuss and explore though such said discussion. They started going into it and it almost became a free will v. divine 'control' sermon. But it didn't. It was really good. They also played really good music - which made me happy.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Having trouble eating too; which if you know me, is quite worrisome. I know why it is - but how the heck do I get out of it? Well, with help, discussion, and actually doing something to make the situation better - that's how.

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Friday. 1.5.07 7:35 pm
So, everything went down.
Basically, I/We decided that it's best I come home but keep my apartment. That way as soon as May (or late april) comes 'round, I can take off.
This means that I'll be residing in Laredo for 3 1/2 months. A little longer than summer.
On the other hand, I've already got plans in the works to go up there for Spring Break, and other little visits may also occur. We'll see how all that turns out, but I see no reason why it shouldn't. In fact, I'm rather looking foward to visiting my sanity. :)

On the other hand, now that I've been away and exposed to some pretty new ideas (some not so new, but far more defined) 'home' isn't quite the same. I notice things now I didn't before - things bother me beyond belief that I never even noticed before. There's one main person I could blame for all this - but instead I'll thank them quietly.

So, now I need a job. Or two. Something. I'll go looking on Monday. At the current moment I have hopes set on somewhere in the mall (decent hours...crappy people...but that's basically everywhere right about now), or possibly Best Buy (discounts!). We'll see how THIS turns out.


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Pachabell's Cannon in D
Sunday. 12.31.06 6:16 pm
8 beautiful christmas trees decorated the alter.
The music started.
The doors open.
There's Lauren, outside the doors flanked by her mom and dad.
The biggest smile EVER on her face.
The ceremony begins.
"I do."
"I do."
They turn....
"I'd like to announce for the first time, to those loved ones gathered here - Mr. and Mrs. James Scott Wisneski!"

So, I went to Kingsville on Saturday to see an old friend from High School get married. It was small but completely her. The ceremony wasn't her so much as her mother .... but that's family for ya. They seem SO happy. Her sister was maid of honor and his best friend was best man. Her parents (I don't know his) were SO proud. It made me smile.

The reception started off a bit slow - but I was able to cope seeing as they had a HUGE platter of cheese and cracker, with fruit along the sides of it. :) However, they came over to say 'hi' to us and we talked for a little while. Then about 3 hours it came time for the speeches. The best man's speech was pretty decent. ('SCORE'!) The sister seemed like she hadn't really practiced...but it came from the heart.

After that came the bouqet toss and the garter throw. When they announced that they wanted all single women on the floor I got up and NO ONE ELSE DID. I wanted to *die*. lol, but I made my friends (who aren't all that single) go with me and a few other girls got up. In the end I missed the bouqet but deffinately thought about tackling the girl who DID catch it (lol). The garter toss was uneventful.

After that it REALLY picked up. They started playing decent music and we jammed out quite a bit. Her mom started a conga line TWICE and both times grabbed me and the girls I was with to join in. Me and Kel also started the electric slide during 'boot scootin' boogie'. We felt like dorks dancing all alone on the floor, but within a few seconds or so a bunch of other people got up and we felt proud. Then of all things....for the first time in my life....I was asked to dance. ^_^! I had thought that he was really cute since I'd seen him in the church and the weird thing is that I had just told the girls I was with that I thought he was really cute when out of nowhere he comes up to *me* and asks me to dance. As we danced around the floor he asked me about myself, and I about him. He told me that when I open my store he should get in contact with me since he writes children's comics. I promised I would. I'm not gonna lie and say it did'nt make me feel uber special that he asked me and not kel or mel. I could write about those 3 and a half minuets for quite awhile more....but what's the point to it? "It was just a moment in the woods". ANYWAY...there was a little more dancing (a little more being caught looking at each other........*focus*) and then it was time for Lauren and Scott to leave.

Those who were still there gathered outside the hall and were handed bubble stuff to blow on them when they exited. Her car was otuside, they had tagged it on the passanger windows it sad "She got him today, He'll get her tonight", of course "just married" was put nearly everywhere it could be, streamers also adorned the car that she once gave me rides to school in. When they exited we screamed, hugged, blew bubbles and smiled. Then it was time for us to go. We said goodbye to her mom (who has taken each of us; and our siblings, on as her own) and then left back to Kel's apartment.

At Kel's apartment we watched 'The Descent' which has sufficiently creepy parts in it - but overall wasn't extremely scary. Then again, my constant narration (which I do when I'm nervous) and the lights that we left on could have taken away from the effect. We went to sleep around 2:30 and woke up relatively early so get back home since Mel had to go to work.

It was a REALLY good weekend.

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the politics of Christmas
Tuesday. 12.26.06 2:26 pm
I'm going to rant. It's going to be stupid. If you'd rather not hear about it then skip on down a bit.

Christmas. It's supposed to be a time of good feelings, love, warmth, and lovely feelings. Did my family miss the memo? For years, I've wanted to celebrate Christmas with JUST my family unit (i.e. Mom, Dad, Eddie and I), but it's not to be. It's not that I mind having my family around - it's just....dramatic, tense, and uncomfortable.
Firstly, there's my uncle. I love this man. He's one of the coolest, most cultured yet funny human beings on earth. While he was here he offered to take me to 2 concerts this upcoming new year. Pink Martini (a band he himself introduced me to) and John Mayer (he's taken me and my friends to the past 2 concerts he's had in San Antonio). He's also taken my brother and I to the symphony and he's just in general a real cool guy. However, he and my father HATE each other. The whole time they're together they do nothing but be INCREDIBLY passive agressive at each other. Which leaves my mother and I torn. It's really obvious she never knows wether or not to take her brother or her husband's side. Same with me, I never know wether or not to take my uncle or my father's side. So the whole time they're together you just try to stay quite and keep the situation from blowing up into something too big. My dad constantly gets mad at my mom for 'not standing up for him' but he's a grown man, he should be able to do that by now.
As for my grandmother....
I love the woman. Really. She's done alot for my family. While dad was out of a job she sent us money and helped me financially Senior year (I got to go on my senior trip and all). She has been saving money for years so that once my brother and I graduate from Unieristy we have a free trip anywhere in the world. She's taken me all over the United States and has brought me stuff from all over the world. She's always fed my book addiction and is a increidbly (unintentionally) funny woman. However, me and her have butted heads ever since I was old enough to have my own thoughts. She's very much about the quality and sophistications of stuff. Take midnight mass for example. Back in the day I used to be quite involved in my chuch - I even sang in the chior. So, I've always taken pride in my church. The chior is made up completely of volunteers. They never held 'auditions' and thusly it's filled with people of every make and model. It's not the best chior ever - but it's the thought of worshiping God through song that's supposed to be what's the point. Well, not for her - she's always hated the church because of the chior. Not for any other reason - simply the chior - something that I was once a part of and took pride in. So, this year we went to another church (I didn't mind so much) and she hated that church because the priest did it in a sing-songy kind of way (like they used to back in the day). So as soon as mass was over and we had exited the church all you could hear was her complaining. My brother started harping in. This made me mad because of all people I don't want my brother to take on to her way of thinking. So I made a few snide comments. They weren't taken very well.
As for the family in general....well,
No one from my mom's side really likes our side of the family. My grandmother thinks of my mom as the one that got the worse lot in life and no one likes my dad very much. They think we're (my brother and I) are good kids but that's the extent of it. My grandmother REALLY likes my tia (My aunt - the eldest, My mom - the middle kid, My uncle - the baby). So even though my aunt NEVER hangs out with our side of the family (mandatory duties aside), and even though we're the ones that always take care of her and do whatever we can with whatever we can - all we ever hear is about the new car my tia bought, or the new job my cousin got, or about how much better she cooks and what-not. So, that leaves us (well, at least me) feeling really put out. The fact that we're seen as some sort of 'charity case' also leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I know we're not the best off of people in the world - but we're not starving to death yet. The worst bit of all this is that my brother will joke right alongside my uncle and grandma. It makes me sad that he hasn't developed the state of mind just yet to keep himself out of their clutches.

::done ranting::

It was a good Christmas once you get down to it. I got to spend time with my brother, which always makes me happy. For Christmas I'm going to be getting contacts - I'm looking foward to it, and yet then again the idea of putting something in my eye still gives me the hebby jebbys (sp?). I also got some smelly's from Victorias Secret from my mom and a handmade purple quilt from my Grandmother. Apperently she and her best friends have been working on it for about a year. On one side it's light purple with dark purple flowers and the other side has this really funky dark purple/white pattern. I like the pattern part better - but I think it's awesome.

My friend Lauren's wedding is this saturday. I got to hang out with her on Saturday and she's really excited about it. The wedding is in Kingsville, they're spending their honeymoon in San Antonio (this summer they're going to Las Vegas though), and they're going to be living in Houston. Apperently Scott (the husband) got a job over at Lockheed Martin where he'll be one of the desginers of the thingy that's going to replace the shuttle. She's going to be a lab technician somewhere in the area - she wants to continue working with animals though (she's always perfered animals to humans). I'm uber excited for her and can't wait for the inevitable reunion of old highschool friends that will occur at her wedding.
I'm yet to have the 'grade' disucssion with my dad yet. It'll go down soon enough though. We'll just have to wait and see what'll happen with that.

I think that's a good enough update for now. Don't you?

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