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if you stick around, i'll sing you pretty sounds.


smudge clothing company.
sometimes randy and sporadicfunk and i draw pictures and we put the pictures on shirts and you have to buy them.

here is a direct link to our store on zazzle.

shirts for sale.

also, you can find us on facebook.

become a fan.
guide to success with my weblog.
step one: read everything to the right of this module.
step two: click every number at the bottom of the screen.
step three: go back to step one.

repeat infinity times.
this is my personal assistant.
i managed to break this little nutang helper from his contract with nutang, and now he works for me. his name is jump-for-joya. he manages this site. all complaints and other inquiries should be directed to him.


jump-for-joya


he thanks you for your cooperation.
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ice-nine.
Friday. 4.2.10 10:19 am
so i have to work tomorrow. fuck.

i don't enjoy spending 3 or 4 hours of my saturday inside a bank. it's a pain. it also means that i can't do anything in the morning, and i probably won't have the energy to do much in the afternoon.

but, i will carry on.

i was also randomly thinking, what if there was a real formula for ice-nine? we'd all be screwed, i think. let's assume that ice-nine gets dropped into the atlantic ocean.

now, this means that every ocean has turned to ice-nine. the only natural water sources left are ones inside countries that are completely landlocked.

on a humid day, would part of the atmosphere turn to ice-nine?

would there be enough moisture in the ground or air at any given time to kill every living being on the planet?

perhaps, though, if we could find a safe (i use that term loosely) formula for ice-nine, then we could work on the-muffin-man's global warming "problem" by creating isolated man-made basins of ice-nine. perhaps this would cool the planet.

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good morning.
Tuesday. 3.30.10 8:52 am
one of my favorite scenes from How I Met Your Mother is a morning where robin walks into ted's apartment and says "hey" and ted yells "what's so good about it?!"

obviously, it's a play off of "good morning." even though robin clearly didn't say "good morning."

i decided that i don't like the phrase good morning. this may just be because i haven't had a decent morning in the past year or so. my worst mornings have come in the past few weeks. this pneumonia has an ass that won't quit.

my doctor says that the pneumonia is actually pretty much gone from my system now... i told him that i still have a persistent cough, so he prescribed some steroids for me to take to hopefully get rid of it. i need to be rid of this sickness. i've never been this sick in my life. i hate it. HATE IT.

my immune system is emo. it seems to hate my body, and itself. my white blood cells are slashing their own wrists. my lungs are writing lyrics about suicide.

if i made a line break every time i coughed, it would look like this:

hey guys
so today
i




went

to the movies




but i won't do that to you guys. it wouldn't make any sense, unless i was talking to you face to face.

i did go to the movies on sunday to see How To Train Your Dragon in 3D. it was amazazing.

i think that the highlight of the movie was... THE TRAILER FOR THE LAST AIRBENDER BEFORE THE MOVIE.

no, the movie was good though. gerard butler is the man. even animated.

i'm done.

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cds.
Friday. 3.26.10 9:38 am
cds that i would like:

punk goes classic rock

that's all.

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hole.
Wednesday. 3.24.10 12:53 pm
today, as i was opening a door, i didn't realize that there was a piece of metal sticking out of the way, which is supposed to be part of the security lock for the door. i walked through the door, but my shirt got caught on the piece of metal, and ripped a hole in my work shirt. damn it.

i was gonna put "FML" but i realized that much worse things happen on FML.

it just sucked. now i have a hole in my shirt.

the problem with messing up work clothes is that you obviously can't wear it to work anymore. if it was a tshirt i wouldn't give a shit. but i can't come into work with a ripped shirt.

*sigh*

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the fed.
Monday. 3.22.10 3:24 pm
i guess i should blog.

it's rainy.

i guess i want to write my own ukulele songs, but how serious can one be while playing the ukulele? i mean, i can act serious, but it ends up being funny.

topics that come to mind when thinking about writing music for the ukulele turn out to be songs that sound like they should be for children. i could write about self-mutilation, and if i played it with the uke, it would probably end up on Kidz Bop 30.

anyways.

the pneumonia seems to be sticking around slightly. one of my coworkers is now saying that she had pneumonia, and it didn't completely stop having effects on her for an entire year. fuck this game. lung transplant, please.

anyways.

work is getting on my nerves, slightly. interest rates suck. now when i have a conversation with a customer about the interest rates, i just agree with them about everything. this is a conversation i might've had about two months ago:

customer: "my CD has come mature. what do you have?"
me: "our CDs are paying 1.00% for 12 months."
customer: "that is so low!"
me: "well the fed dropped their rates, and we base our directly off our what we can borrow money from them at. we also just raised about $700 million in a stock conversion, so corporate isn't looking to focus on CD money right now."
customer: "oh okay. i'll take a check."

this is what that conversation would go like now.

customer: "my CD has come mature. what do you have?"
me: "our CDs are paying 1.00% for 12 months."
customer: "that is so low!"
me: "yeah, it is."
customer: "just a year ago i was getting 2.50%!"
me: "yeah, you were."
customer: "that's a shame. this bank used to have the most competitive rates!"
me: "yeah, we did."
customer: "can't you do anything about the rates?"
me: "no, i can't."
customer: "oh okay. i'll take a check."

of course you will.

i should just have checks ready for people, so they can just come in, and i can write their name in, and just sign and hand it to them. done.

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out.
Thursday. 3.18.10 9:22 am
wow. mixed reviews about the birthday song. oh well. don't care.

st. patrick's day was fun. went out with some peepees to a restaurant/bar called duclaw. i got this sampler of microbrews which came with nine small beers. it was pretty impressive. i won't get it again, though, as it is really just a taste testing thingy. i did enjoy seven of them, though. the other two tasted like shit.

anyways. actually, that's about it. yesterday was an enjoyable evening. i met some new people, which is always nice. and, i wasn't home very late (10 o'clock). so, i got to have a good time AND get some decent sleep.

i'm very much looking forward to this weekend.

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when you buy my things it makes me happy.
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