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The grocery store, a time machine
Monday. 4.2.07 8:41 pm
I drove my dad to the grocery store yesterday. Why? Because he wanted me to. We were preparing to enter with the marvelous invention known as the grocery cart, but found the entrance to be temporarily obstructed by a large, balding black woman. With a little too much showing in the front if you know what I mean. Gross . Anyway, once she removed herself from between the sliding glass doors we made our way inside, into the domain of the produce section.

The grocery store really brings back memories. Me and my sister would always go there with my mom, since we weren't responsible enough to be left at home by ourselves, the little gremlins we were (are). I remember traveling through the store on our designated path, first stopping at the produce, then weaving our way through the aisles picking up whatever items the list called for. Driving the cart was fun at first, but quickly became a chore . I would always challenge my sister to see who could touch the highest hanging sign. The cardboard ones were a cinch for me back then...but those big metal overhead displays were always out of my reach. Funny how I can grab them now without even leaving the ground. Oh how I miss the olden days.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Say hello to my sister. Number four prositute in all of U. S. and A.
Sunday. 4.1.07 5:11 pm
Apil Fools! . Unfortunately, all the majesty has been destroyed because by now, everyone will have realized it's April Fool's Day so whatever I say or do will be rendered completely useless. Oh well. Onwards.

Speaking of speaking like Borat (hence the title), I actually went out and got the DVD finally. Me and some friends watched it, and I discovered that watching movies with friends is actually a lot funnier then just seeing them by yourself. Anyhow, I'm not sure how to judge it. Borat's one of those movies that's funny while you see it, but even better to yammer about afterward to other people. Kind of like Napoleon Dynamite. For anyone whose seen it...wtf is up with that old rodeo dude who talks to Borat before he sings the anthem? "You'd better shave off that mustache so you don't look so damn conspicious. I see a Muslim and I wonder what kind of he has blah blah blah." Ok then, Mr. Texan Cowboy Super White Supremecist Man.

Aside from my Borat adventures, not much else has happened this weekend. My friend introduced me to an amusing clip from Youtube, which I present to you. Good day.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
A message
Friday. 3.30.07 8:24 pm
Dear hax0r,
Haha omg ur sooo kool u h4x nutang omgz lol. Those n00bz r so ruined now u r teh $hitee [email protected]!! Can i get u ottograf?? Lolz k bye piece!1! <<33
Sincerely,
Suk Mibalz

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Return of the Fu Manchu
Wednesday. 3.28.07 7:37 pm
In my last entry I refused Nutang a picture of my father sportin the infamous fu manchu. I have developed more devious methods of capturing his appearance, a.k.a. use camera phone and send to pix place!


Nutang is in dire need of one of them bookmark icons...you know, the little icon that shows up next to the URL in some browsers? Google happens to have a square with a G in it. And Nutang needs to follow in suit. Perhaps I shall create a forum topic to discuss this marvelous new innovation.

So I got drafted into this little Rotary Club. It's for kids who are looking to pursue a future in college...specifically kids who need help. Now I'm not saying I don't need help, because I do, but not this kind of help. Everyone in there is a minority. Except for me. Everyone in there is female, except Daniel Harada, but he might as well be. NOT that I have anything against either racial / gender groups, but I feel so out of place. I think it was a mistake giving these people my cell phone number, since now I get random calls from this old guy whose my "counselor," or something to that effect. After our first meeting, which involved me hiding behind a facade of "yes, I do care what you have to say", he now wants to meet with my parents. What? Why? It's my worst nightmare manifesting itself in reality: my college-loving parents plus an equally rabid 80 year old man who will periodically stare at you for no particular reason, with some strange intensity that borderlines on creepy. This should be fun.

Ahh yes, and even more parental involvement on the horizon. March 30th is the beloved "Take Your Parent to School Day," which in my case translates to "Act Smart and Don't Fall Asleep, Plus Avoid Student Contact and Leave Your Parent Stranded in 1st Period" day. Really, honestly, I don't want this guy following me around school.


--EDIT--

Just so you all know, that pic of my dad's DL is OLD. Lol yes, about 20 years old to be exact. I feel blessed to know that such monstrosities are in the past.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Fu Manchu
Sunday. 3.25.07 1:47 pm
My dad left pictures of his old driver's license on the counter this morning. Much to my surprise, he had a fu manchu. For those of you who aren't aware, a fu manchu is a style of asian mustache popularized by the 1960s movie villian Fu Manchu.

I'd upload a photo, but it would be moderately awkward if he were to find me scanning a picture of his driver's license. "No dad, I'm not going to upload this on the internet!"

In other news...

My sister tried to try out for cheer. Thankfully, parents have to approve this kind of stuff first, and they dutifully told her "no." I feel somewhat bad for her, because it's every adolscent female's dream, but thing would've gotten really ugly. Let me first say that I cannot believe the expenses for one godamn uniform. $110 for a sweater? $30 for socks? $100 for a skirt? $120 for shoes? Are they wearing gold or something? The grand total came to a whopping $1200, and that's only for the uniform. I read through all the cheer codes and terms of membership; the thing is monsterous. I'm surprised nobody's suffered from stress-induced ulcers. I'm relieved that this cheer nightmare has passed, now there's only the dance squad to contend with. And they don't exactly have the best of reputations either.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
My dog chews on cow parts. The wrong parts.
Saturday. 3.24.07 11:08 pm
So my dog got this new bone today. Or at least I thought it was a bone. The label read "Cow pizzle." Sounds like something a gansta would say...shizzle my nizzle, pizzle! You can look it up if you like...or I could just paraphrase.

Cow dick


Basically Clarence is now chewing on this "pizzle", which has been entwined in the most gruesome of fashions, and also smells like hell. Blehhh

Maybe a lot of people know about this. Maybe I've just been out of the loop for a while. It's too bad that this stuff is actually good for dogs, since all the chewing helps destroy tartar buildup...because I'd rather just get rid of it lol.

In other news...

I think I had A.D.D. or something, because I cannot concentrate. Whenever a teacher is (especially in Math) trying to teach, I just space out. Completely. And by the time I return to reality, I've missed whatever important information he/she was trying to relay to the class. I have no idea how it happens...my brain will go off on a tangent and emerse the rest of my mind in its thinkings. Somehow I manage to maintain A's whilst these bouts of A.D.D. strike, but college will pretty much destroy me if I can't learn to maintain a little concentration.

I saw Spidey2 on FX last night, and they showed trailers for numero tres...AH. I'm so excited . I'm a little apprehensive about Topher Grace playing Venom...since Venom is supposed to be all buff-like, and Topher isn't exactly the most ripped of characters. Oh well. I'm confident it will be pwnage nonetheless. Speaking of Spidey, I think it's safe to throw a shoutout to TCM, whose new pixel person has been defending the island from crime. Complete with ultra-detailed costume and webs! Felons beware.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some video games that need my care. Good day.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Come see my movie Borat. If you don't, I get execute.
Friday. 3.23.07 11:16 am
Finally, after three years of off-and-on Nutang activity I hath finally broken $10. My plans for a world takeover are nearer to completion now...all that is left to be done is earn double the funds so that Dave will be forced to pay me some bling.


Speaking of Borat, I'm definitely going to pick up the DVD--one of these days--and there will be a party. You're all invited, I just won't pay for your plane ticket. I'm not rich, remember?! Dave hasn't paid me my bling yet...Anyways, I heard the movie can get ridiculously grotesque in some moments...but I'm told that no spiders are involved so therefore it's safe.

Heh, sorry about that last entry. I was tired, but felt like updating. So instead of using my brain, I decided to go the sentiminetal route and copy down a bunch of questions out of a book. At the time I felt quite clever, but now I just want to punch myself. Kudos to Randy for answering them though...although some of her answers could raise a few eyebrows :P


This would be my dog. Lol don't mind the audio, I only make strange noises in his presence, I promise


Basically, not much else to say...except that I know the words to a rap song I will not name, for the sake of my dignity. Good day.

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Questions...do you know the answer?
Thursday. 3.22.07 11:42 am
If you think life is hard, what are you comparing it to?
If you don't have all the things you want, are you grateful for all the things you don't have that you didn't want?
What would you attempt if you know you could not fail?
How would you introduce yourself to God?
Did you let yesterday use up too much of today?
What is the one thing you think of that always makes you smile?
Can you really be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you?
Who are "they"?
How do you want to be remembered?
If you had five minutes to live, who would you call and why are you waiting?

-Ever Wonder

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Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
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