Items of interest
My photo album
Policies of Von-Nation
*~ Be happy, think positive, SMILE!
*~ Love simply
*~ Live the day like there is no tomorrow
*~ Live without regrets
*~ Dispose of your rubbish carefully
*~ Reduce your usage of plastic shopping bags
*~ Love the world, be charitable
*~ Respect Cross-cultural relationships
*~ Respect same-sex relationships
*~ Be kind to your family, respect ur parents
*~ Enjoy song & dance
*~ Swear till your hearts' content
*~ Love who you are and be satisfied
*~ Eat when u r hungry
*~ Money is not the most important thing
*~ Have faith in something you feel strongly about
*~ Respect all religions
*~ Don't take life so seriously
*~ Give hugs
*~ Have manners! Be polite
*~ Cherish ur group of friends
*~ Don't talk shit, get to the pt
*~ Be passionate about your job
*~ Invest in a good eye cream
*~ Don't waste food
*~ Respect elders
*~ Don't be afraid to have a say!
*~ Love animals
Subject to alteration..
What do you think?
Karen Cheng - This lady must love perth
as much as I do!! Great read, web designer
Ayu - Another nutang bud, luv her
site designs! Sweet person..
Bitch- a "bitch" NOT! Cool Nutang girl!
KOban - NUtang boy who likes ff like me!, from sg too.
ShaShaBoo - she mah home girl..hehe
Vera - Frm Atlanta, US, alwiz has
something interesting to say!
JulAngel - Friend from 1st yr uni at Murdoch, Honkie at heart but living in Perth.
Phoid_hearted - another nutanger...very cool blog, she knows how to write!
Aussie Poida - A work friend, also from Perth. A live journal junkie/nintendo person
I adopted a cute lil' tempura fetus
from Fetusmart! mm..yummy.
Isn't he adorable?
Count me in
all is done
Tuesday. 11.21.06 11:29am
Last nite was my last exam of the evening, I didnt know that I would be so stressed but I was. I could not concentrate and my mind was just spinning and trying to make up shit in my essay. It was all about pricing in the retail and manufacturing industry, I didnt what I was on about...but I did look at the multi choice questions, a 'pricing' question and hopefully A, B, C, D helped me in my essay. If in doubt check the multichoice for the answer! Hahaha.
Then this morning I had my presentation in front of the HR panel to speak on 'how is performance management and essential compenent to a constructive workplace?'. Damn I was nervous as hell! The traffic on the way to the city was no help, as I glanced at the clock on my mobile every 5 mins. I thought I would not make it in time and stuff my chances up. At least I knew the panel, James and Melina who I never really worked with but have been in the same section in DIMA.
My opening video did not work! :( It was a snippet of South Park that I would use to explain performance management...no sound. I didnt want to show it cuz it would ruin the effect. Anyways that was one major stuff-up but the presentation went on. I realised only at the end that I had spoken quite fast and read from the slides quite often... The panel was nodding their heads, but they are HR ppl, they are meant to be nice and democratic. So I couldnt tell whether they approved or not.
This is a position of a HR project research officer...it is 2 levels from where I was at when I left DIMA. So I am a bit nervous that I am undeserving and the view from others at the office cuz I am still young and inexperienced. But my mother told me this morning b4 the presentation is to think like I deserve the job and I am just as good as anyone else. :) Only 2 other people applied, cuz most feared the presentation aspect. :p
Thursday. 11.16.06 12.00 pm
This morning I had rushed to my exam at 9am, I had woken up 45 mins before and drove all the way to sit my paper. I was prepared (I think) even though I began my revision only the day before. I had also studied till 1am last night and a lil bit before I went to uni. I was quite relaxed until I passed by engineering building to get to my exam venue. There was cops closing off a certain area of the engineering gardens, vehicles driving into the area and students with their 'turtlenecks' slowing down to see what's happening. I couldnt stop to look carefully but went to my exam 10 mins before it started and didnt think anything of it.
My heart was racing abnormally than usual, yet I had an inner calm that allowed me to continue writing. My hands became sweaty, my head was hurting and it was hot in the lil room. When I finished I was happy I managed to write 12 pages on business ethics, and I felt very passionate as I wrote my answers. It was all about ethics and what is right and wrong for corporations to run in the global market arena.
I came home, hugged my mum, relieved 'another one down' and then found out the sad news. She had told me that one of our students came home early today because something bad happened at Curtin International College. A student had committed suicide, no news why they did, but probably stress and pressure leading up to exams and the fear of failing...
I was only talking bout fear of failing in my last blog... But it always pulls a string in my heart when a young person takes their life because they see no option, that they are caught in a downward spiral that they cannot come out of. The government should bring back suicide helplines, depression helplines to campaigns about loving life...cuz a suicide can affect so many ppl. Those who know and do not know the person, people need to talk and not cover this issue up! Our young ppl are depressed and there is no one to turn to.
I just want to run away
Tuesday. 11.14.06 10:50 am
I am sitting my first exam today and I dont think I am ready for it. I always have that feeling in my stomach that I am gonna fail. I have to pass Industrial Law, because the exam is worth 50% of the total grade... Last night I just wanted to run away from my responsibilities cuz I was stressed out.
The holiday is near, yet I feel scared about leaving my comfort zone behind. I have also applied for a position at DIMA, that seems so out of my range, as an APS5 HR Project Officer...that my self esteem may not be able to meet the position. I always feel like I am less than what I want to achieve. Such a strange feeling, as if I am undeserving... Even though my friends and family see potential in me I often see doubt.
I guess with exams here, I also see this doubt in myself...my age is catching up with me. And in my mind I feel as if my learning capacity is diminishing...cant memorise much or contain much information.. *sigh* Can I hack the pressure? It's a fight or flight situation Im going through...
Bye bye kim
Sunday. 11.12.06 6:17pm
My cousin kim left at 2 am this morning, I went to see her off at the airport with Yohana and Sari. It was ok, it was definitely sad to see her go because of all the fun we had whilst she was here. But we are going to KL in like 2 weeks anyway so we will meet again. There is just something about departure gates at an airport that brings all the emotions running in. It made Yo talk about the time comes for her to leave Perth, and our friendship...I don't know how I would cope without seeing her at least once a week. I could tell her voice was breaking slightly just thinking about it. *sigh* Best friends are never meant to be a part!!
On sat we had yumcha for brunch at Jade Dynasty, we might have been the loudest table of girls and one guy (Fernando) in the restaurant cuz we were laughing about old school times. It was nice, I dont want to lose all my MLC frens when they go back overseas to work...it will be like I never attended that school. I hope not, I hope the memories will not be forgotten.
I had to hear from Kim that I have changed since she last came, it was 3 years ago...when I was a reserved, young, naive and unexpressive, let's just say inexperienced in life. To talk to Kim now...she says I have changed! I never wanted to change really, when people say change I often think of the 'negative' cuz I liked my personality back then. But maybe I have grown up and the change isnt such a bad thing. She says I am not shy anymore...my shyness has disappeared...hmmm yet I still see shyness in me. It takes a lot for me to approach people and keep a conversation going sometimes...but it has definitely been easier since meeting F. He has been a big influence in my life, made me a stronger person (I hope) by allowing me to express my emotions to the full extent...when I need to. I can totally be myself and not put up any fronts. I try and tell him how it is and how I feel...which translates to the other areas in my life...I can tell others when I'm in a mood. I'm ready to allow myself to be moody hehe. Rather than the smiling face all the time.
Anyway Kim pointed out that change in me, and Im glad that she did. I had thought I had changed in my personality to become worse, but to lose my shyness is a big thing to hear! Speaking up in lectures used to be an anxiety attack but now I am calm and confident in my answers. ;) Good friends are brilliant, they shape and mould you throughtout life and make sure you turn out to be an 'alright' human being. Which means so much to an individual..
does caring less free up a lot of happy space?
Wednesday. 11.8.06 6:48pm
I am slowly learning that caring less actually makes one happier. By not involving myself in other ppl's problems and lives I know I can be more carefree. I just find it so difficult to say no when people ask for help though. In my mind I believe that if I have the knowledge and the resources to help someone then I will try my best to give them my time. In the end I feel so exhausted and unable to do my own things...plus when they give me feedback that the advice was unhelpful or that they didnt show their appreciation I do get a lil peeved.
For example, since that drama with the couple. I told them I would not speak or get involved in their lives again, and the guy said he would do the same (for all the trouble he has caused me). But then today he calls me to ask if he could borrow my textbook for the exam and photocopy it, I was kinda reluctant but didnt say no cuz I know he will not buy the book and probably fail. But what is it to me? Should I care that he fails, not really... Anyways I agreed to meet him tomorrow at 1130. I know I will not get any appreciation back and I dont want to, cuz of the whole jealous gf thing...
Also I don't want to be responsible for other people's outcome in life, I cannot tell ppl what to study or what career to choose because I dont want to be the one in the end that gets the blame for it not turning out right. I am not a professional career advisor, I can only point you to another who is more qualified. I find people rather you do it, cuz they know you better. But if I'm not competent to advise I dont want to say anything...better a pro. Anyways best to make your own decisions in life so you cant blame others. That's why I hardly ask for help.
Some ppl are just too lazy to find out things and figure out stuff by themselves...it is prob too time consuming or confusing for them. But it is really easy if they just try their research skills and put some energy into making their lives possible.
I just dont want to be an ice queen and not care at all...but I cant care about something and not do anything about it. If I care I would help as much as I can, even till the end. Just so I can be satisfied that this person has found their path and will become successful. I hope to see everyone I care bout become successful and content in the their lives...but helping them achieve that at the moment seems too much of a task for lil me....
I know ppl ask me to care less and stop being 'stepped on' like a door mat...but how do I say no? *SIGH* I think my fren Yo is also in the same situation, I give her advice but why cant I take that advice too. Us, both busy with exams and projects but still say yes to frens who need our help.
Rottnest Islang Dreaming
Tuesday. 11.7.06 12:30pm
The weekend was non-stop. My fren Kim came on Saturday, F and I went to pick her and then went to Yo's and F dropped all of us at Subi. Whilst Yo went to her wax session I stayed with Kim and caught up over ice-cream. It was nice to chat to her face to face and enjoy her company. But since Kim has been in Perth I have been a wreck! Hehe, not really complaining cuz I love it that she here and I get to spend time with my 3rd cousin.
I had to work straight after at the Thai restaurant.My older bro drove me to work, and I was still in my casual clothes. Oh well. haha. It was a busy night too, so many annoying customers!! Straight after I followed Tiff and Vira back to their house and borrowed some clothes to go out with Kim and Yo. I was tired but stil managed to go clubbing at metrocity, I was soooooo bored. The girls had a good time, I remained mostly sober but the rest had a few tipples.At 3am , I got dragged to The Church nightclub, different scene, dance and trance. Brings back so many memories for Yo, Kim and myself hehe...bad and good I guess...
Then at 5am we left, I stayed at Yo's apartment and woke up at 9am to go to work at Fresh! Damn u can imagine how zombiefied I would have looked! It was funy cuz the other girls I was working with had a rough night too. :p Then picked the girls after work to come back to my parent's house and had dinner. They slept over and the next morning we went to Rottnest.
Rottnest Island, it has been 10 yrs since my last visit. We drove as quick as we could to Freo and caught the 10am ferry to Rottnest, it was wicked! I was so happy and everyone had a great time. Such good weather too. We hire bikes and went all over the island cycling, tried to cycle to the very end, but the flies we so annoying, trying to enter every orafice on the face. YUCK! And so hot, not much shade so we were burning under 32 degs heat. But it was so much fun! 5 girls on bikes, yelling and shouting out around this quiet island. We also went to the beach and made a fool of ourselves taking silly pics and videos. Lucky it was secluded...
We had a wicked time. I will post pics up in my flickr soon. So you can see us in our beach gear. We got sunburnt too...even though we used sunscreen, it hurts today when I tried to dress myself. OUCH!
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