Tuesday. 8.19.08 6:36 pm
I got my restricted, today.
As I'm sure you read in the shout box, heh.
Man, it was so awesome today at the pool when Britney received a phone call from Katie telling her she was back home. She totally freaked. It was awesome :)
So my birthday is in...11 days.
Another year older. Yay?
Sunday. 8.17.08 10:35 pm
I suppose I could start admitting to things I've done, instead of trying to make up excuses on how I rarely do them, anymore.
I'm getting quite annoyed with one of my friends. Ex-boyfriend, to be exact. It has been...10 months since we have broken up, about. Yes, I've dated two of his friends. Yes, that was most likely bad on my part. Yes, I realize all this, and having people rag me about it doesn't help, thank you. But...I am getting fed up. He makes tiny smart-ass remarks, keeps making me feel guilty by bringing the breakup up in random moments, keeps trying to make me feel jealous because he's in college now and I'm still in high school for two more years, and tries to be best friends through my mom.
To explain that last part, my mom and his mom are pretty good friends. Lately, any time he wants to spend "extra quality time" with me, he would ask my mother to volunteer me to do something with him. If I have plans or work, I have to change my schedule around. He laughs, I get fed up. Like, for example, I was going to have to help him move to USC the other day, when I had work. Mom told me to move me to a later shift. Fortunately, I had to take a Driver's Ed course all day.
Reading over everything I just wrote, I realize that it makes me sound very shallow. Who knows, maybe all of this makes me shallow. He wants to stay friends, and he is hurt, because I've hurt him, and I can't fix it. So I suppose I can take the guilt-trips and small remarks without complaint. To an extent.
It's just...that kind of stuff isn't going to make me want to hang out more. I will not hang out with him out of pity. But I'm not going to want to continue to be around him if he will continue to act like this.
I guess I have to make some changes to my attitude, as well.
My birthday is in 13 days. If I pass the test, I get my restricted license on Tuesday. Twilight comes out 3 weeks before originally intended (Old date: 12.12.08 New date: 11.21.08) I am obviously excited about these things.
And, I guess you could say I'm excited to start school. My butt is going to get whooped this year because of full IB, but I am going to try my best to pull through with decent, satisfying grades.
This morning around 6:00 AM, I woke up to a huge thunder/lightning storm. I could hear the wind outside, too. I honestly thought a Tornado was coming, but that I was too far from the emergency siren to be able to hear it. I was so scared that I almost went and slept with my mom. But I sucked it up. Yet...after a while, I was able to fall back asleep to the sound of thunder.
Hm. Maybe I'm getting over my fear. I just...know that storms cause destruction, sometimes. And that's what I'm always scared of. And I don't want to let my guard down, and then something horrible happen.
Of course, that's what happens, sometimes, when you let your guard down.
I know I shouldn't be bothered by it, but...
Saturday. 8.16.08 5:06 pm
Sunday. 8.10.08 10:11 pm
I will never understand anything.
I don't understand my emotions. My feelings.
My head telling me one thing, but my heart telling me another.
I will never fully understand what I say or what others say, unless you're willing to repeat yourself a few times until I understand completely.
And I will never understand why I have such violently shifting mood swings.
Yes, I'm human. Yes, I have hormones. But why?
I don't think I even understand existence. Reality. Fate.
People's actions, their words; saying one thing, doing another. We're all so different, yet we're exactly the same.
It bothers me that I have so many questions that may never be answered.
It also scares me at the same time.
I must say.
Wednesday. 8.6.08 10:54 pm
I really do love how NuTang is such a tight-knit online blogging community. When you ask for feedback, interested users give it to you.
OHMYGOSH. I have somehow earned 4 unused friend invite codes!
How did this happen? When did this happen? Why am I so excited!?
I don't really know if I want to use them on anyone, actually. Unless I think someone is REALLY deserving of it. Hey, I'll admit, maybe I wasn't exactly FULLY deserving of the friend invite code Stevie gave me, but I blog here sometimes. I would more if I thought about it more. I don't even really use my Xanga THAT much anymore.
Plus, I read this somewhere...I don't remember where, honestly. I think it was on one of Stevie's posts, but if you write something on Xanga you don't want your friends to see, somehow they see it anyway.
Ah. I FINALLY got my copy of Breaking Dawn yesterday. I haven't started it yet, though. I am 9 chapters from finishing Stephenie Meyer's adult book; The Host. It's actually really really good. Better than I expected. I mean, it can't compare to the Twilight series, but it was STILL a good book.
Look at me, talking like I already finished. 9 chapters to go!
Ugh. I am also very upset with IB. Because of my schedule, it prevented me from being able to take Musical Theatre...
You have NO idea how PISSED OFF I am about not receiving that class. Maybe not pissed off...but just really REALLY sad. Dang.
I wrote a lot of random crap in the blog. Oops!
Tell me what you think, please.
Tuesday. 8.5.08 11:54 am
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