It's 73 degrees outside. Completely gorgeous. The sun just set. So I guess it's technically 'twilight' right now. It's beautiful. I opened my window, pack a bowl, sat back, and turned on my twinkly lights. And my scentsy warmer. And lit some incense. If my lava lamp's bulb weren't out, then this would be the epitome of the perfect chill environment. Good music. Good weather. Good vibes. I like it.

Nigths like these make me miss Ian. It can suck sometimes. Like, it's a very bittersweet feeling. I think it's just because I'm used to being high with him the most, so I'm not used to him not being here when I relax like this. He's just a very calming person to be around. I miss that.

But my Russian boy is better. It's hard sometimes, and it can be appealing to give up, but he's so sweet to me. So understanding, supportive, accepting, and cute. He's the type of person I know is good for me. And the most genuine. I like that. We have more in common than I ever thought. Like, I thought we were similar starting out, but we agree on more and more stuff all the time. It's crazy. I knew it was going to be good when I realized we buy the same toilet paper. A match made in bathroom supply heaven. (That was a very high sentence.)

Now I just want him here.

I got my first tattoo a few weeks ago. It's script on my left forearm that says, "I am not afraid to keep on living" with some filigree under it. Sooooo pretty. I'm really proud of it.

I found The Wind in the Willows at Barnes & Noble in a really cute edition a couple months ago, too. It makes me smile.

Hozier makes me mellow/happy/sad. In a good way.

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I'm going on a date with a cute Russian oh my gosh what is my life

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So... My radiator exploded after I got off the highway yesterday. It also caught my engine on fire. WOOHOO! So, I'm looking for a new car. I found a reasonably price 2004 Toyota Prius that I'm kinda leaning towards... it's just a matter of if I can get financing. FIngers crossed. But, yeah. I don't want to be without a car for too long. It kinda really sucks.

Things are looking up :) I quit smoking for real. Yay! And yeah. I like life. Some things about life I don't like, but they'll have to do. I get ice cream soon, so I don't really care haha. And today is payday! Yay! I'm happy.

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I can breathe on my own! Now the oxygen compressor is just an ugly piece of furniture that's in the way. :) I love being able to breathe. I'm trying to quit smoking, which is hard. I've been a smoker for 2 years, which is kind of a long time, but obviously not as long as most people. I just end up sicker every time I smoke, so I decided to ditch it. I wanna try ecigs, but I don't have the money for it at the moment. Still waiting on my first paycheck to come through.

It's been really nice out since yesterday! Sitting outside once the sun sets has been so wonderful. And I also got the N64 back from my sister, so I'm gonna be all over that this week when I get the time. I figured out that the only time I'm actually gonna be able to accomplish stuff is in the mornings with my work schedule... cuz work wipes me out (docs say I'm gonna be fatigued for another month) I just go to bed right after I get home and eat. I really hate planning meals, but I'm trying to lose all the weight I gained from taking freaking zoloft last year... 80 lbs. I wish I could caps lock 80 to emphasize how mad I am about it. But, I'm just gonna kick it's butt and be fine. I'm using the fitbit system. :) You get this little tracker device that you wear on your wrist, and it tracks your movements and steps for the day to figure out how many calories you're burning and all that stuff. Then you use their app or the online dashboard to track what you're eating, and it tells you if you need to eat more or less and all that good stuff. It's really cool! You just set the goal and it takes care of the rest. I love it. I can't wait until I have all my energy back so I can start running again and tracking those runs with the fitbit. It's gonna be so fun. :)

Hope everyone else is doing super awesome!

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