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hikarixgaki
Age. 24
Gender. Female
Ethnicity.
Location , NJ
School. Boston Univ
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this is my site // disclaimer
P.S. The passwords to protected entries will always be "watermelon" as for 9/27/06. For all password protected entries before then, just ask me for it but most likely the password it "pleasedont".
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so now...
12/29/07 (saturday)
it's already the end of 2007. It's so weird, I like the number 7. I don't think I'll ever get used to curling around the 8 in 2008 when I write dates on stuff.

First off, I'm loving the guitar I got for Christmas. I still love playing the piano, but learning a new instrument is fun and exciting, albeit a bit frustrating as well. I didn't anticipate it hurting my fingers. But anything to achieve my goal of being super awesome and multi-instrumental, right?!

Let me think back. Last February/March, my friends all hated me. They won't admit it, but they all did. I was stressing over high school and the end of eighth grade as well as finishing The Book Thief before everyone else. Now, life is way more amazing. My friends don't hate me as much as they did before, I actually think that they're all over that stuff now. I've joined this super awesome youth group and I've met a bunch of new people there, and I think as it grows, I'll get to know them better.

But most of all, I've started high school. It's so weird, as far as I know, there's really no drama within the freshman class, which is kind of strange considering there's four hundred of us: there's bound to be some kind of huge drama that everyone knows about. But I was talking to my cousin, who say gossip flies and spreads like wildfire down where she goes to school. That's when I realized that PC is actually a pretty good school when it comes to the people and stuff.

I've met all these new people at school as well, and even though I didn't even want to go to PC in the first place, I've kind of settled into it and couldn't imagine life any other way. It's like when I started at STA - I sat in social studies and imagined what it would be like if I was still in SHS, and the weird part was, I couldn't even imagine it, no matter how much I hated STA and loved SHS. And I ended up loving STA as well, I made so many great friends there that I'm still keeping in touch with, which is really cool. I try to imagine myself at the Mount as well, and seeing who Caitlin hangs out with and the reputation they have, I don't think I would've fit in there at all, no matter how much I thought I could "grow" and "excel" there. Looking back at it, I'd still probably wanna give it a try, but really, the people matter just as much as the academics in high school. If you're the smartest person in your class but you have no friends, then is your high school experience all that great?

Also, I've realized that the majority of people don't have the extra stress of choosing a high school. Those sorts of major decisions don't happen until the end of high school for public school kids, I bet. Lucky bastards.

Anyway, I've made all these awesome friends at PC. Last (school) year, I would be so nervous to sit at my lunch table because I knew that everyone there really hated or felt sorry for me. I would have nobody to talk to at recess, and even if someone did, they just did it because they saw me all alone and I honestly don't really like that kind of company: pity. Now, I have a group of people that I actually look forward to hanging out with, stealing food from, just generally talking to.

Well, it hasn't always been good. At the beginning of the year, I would be so unhappy and clingy to Will because he was really the only person I knew and would hang out with, but he was busy making new friends as well. I would sit with him on the bus with all those friends he'd made, but I never really talked to them, and after a while they stopped noticing me and started inviting other people to sit in my seat, so I was stuck sitting by myself in random places, listening to my iPod and reflecting on "what a horrible life I had." I was stressing over how hard my sophomore classes were and had to get over how I wasn't the "smartest one" anymore. It's weird how so much had changed since then, over the span of a few months my life's become the best that it's been in a long while.

I'm still keeping in touch with my old friends. In fact, I just went out with some of them yesterday and gave them their Christmas presents, albeit a bit late. But at the same time, I have a bunch of awesome people that I feel comfortable around at school, and that makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside, to tell you the truth.

What else? My sophomore classes aren't as hard anymore: I had a 100 average in geometry, where the teacher regularly tells us to "try harder" and how "eighth period seems to 'dumb down' the brain sometimes." (Though I did get a B on my last test - Overconfidence doesn't pay off, ever.) Spanish is still a bit tough though, I've gotta admit. But honestly, when will I ever have to know how to say 'canteen' in Spanish? Hell, I never say canteen in English. Whatever gets me ahead of the crowd, I guess.

There are only two things that I'd like to change about my life right now. For one, I'd have a boyfriend, but that's kind of weird to talk about. And I could actually go on without one, it's just the "what if's" that gnaw through my brain that compel me to think about them. Well, I guess it'd be easier to talk about it to strangers (I'd say complete strangers, but NuTang is a community, isn't it? =D) Secondly, I have to lose weight. I'll start with that! Okay, I'm assuming, actually, I'm hoping, that anyone who reads this has never met or seen me in real life. I'm a couple of pounds overweight, around forty, and my parents, or really, my mom, seem to love reminding me about it. This is a bit off-topic, but there's this sophomore at my school and, being the stalker that I am, I read some journal entires she posted on facebook and apparently, she has lost the same amount of weight that I need to lose, and she did it over the summer by walking and jogging regularly and dieting. The first thing I thought about that was that it was the perfect example that I needed to follow, and I'd seen her in school, she looks great (in a totally, non-homo way - is that a Jersey thing to say? 'No homo'?). Anyway, I've started to walk normally for about twenty to thirty minutes on the treadmill and I'll start to cut down on my food from now on. (I can't really do it now, since it's the holidays and all, and that's not being fair to anyone, now is it?)

So I guess I should mention something about getting a boyfriend now, since nobody I know reads this anyway! This'll all be a bit pointless since I've just mentioned that my self image is a bit low at the moment, but whatever, I like to preserve all of my thoughts so that I can look back on them later and be embarrassed at how stupid I was back them. Because, after all, I am pretty stupid, but I just don't realize it.

Now it'll get all OMGSOTHERE'STHISGUY, teenage "puppy" love-y dove-y, from here on. Hey, I'm fourteen. Anyway, there's this guy (omg!) in my history and gym classes that I kinda like. The thing is, I just never talk to him. We sit next to each other in history, but it's kind of hard to talk in that class. (If you sit in on one of our history teacher's classes, you'll understand.) In gym, he has a bunch of other friends that are my friends too, but it's a bit awkward in my opinion. Plus, there's the girl that sits behind him in history, and she's really cool and we're friends, but for a while I just thought that he liked her more than he would ever like me. And like I mentioned before, we have all these mutual friends, but the thing is, the majority of these friends are girls as well, so it'd be a bit strange for me to try and say something to him when he's out saying "Hi!" to every other girl in the class.
Now... hm... I liked this other guy in my geometry class, obviously he's a sophomore. The thing with him, though, is that he loves staying in shape and he's a beast at soccer and swimming, apparently. On paper, he sounds like he'd be this huge cool-ass jock guy, but he actually gives off the vibe of a huge weirdo. He stutters and gets all red in the face when he's asking the teacher a question. Maybe that's why I liked him! He had so much trouble figuring out that stuff when I, a lowly freshman, understood it easier than algebra! I think I'm just weird. In addition, he has a brother (and a sister, as the brother and sister are twins, which is way awesome in my opinion - though his sister is quite white, if you see her, you'll understand) that's my age that I guess I thought was cool as well, if only because I used to have a "crush" on his brother. He also loves soccer and swimming too, but the thing is, he's way cooler. He plays the guitar, he was even starting a band with a bunch of people, he has all these friends from soccer, just, everything. I don't know how I started that though... it's probably because of the brotherly connection. They're nothing alike though, besides the sports and parents and such.
I also used to like this other sophomore that sits in front of me in my Spanish class. I think that was purely based on looks, though. And when I found out that he also has a sister that's my age, that's actually in my homeroom, I just called that crush quits. His sister is annoying as hell, the kind of girl that says LOL to everything and thinks that making every other though perverted is "the shit." Honestly, being perverted for fun is fine, but laughing at every single minuscule thing that could be considered an innuendo is not cool. And she has this boyfriend, a junior that lives in North Carolina, no less, that I have no idea how she met, and I hope that they never do. See, she's much chubbier than I am, and if they really met online, as I think they did, then her "boyfriend" will be sorely disappointed when he sees this short, chubby girl that wants to hug him. Like any stereotypical "fat girl" on myspace, pretty much all of her pictures are of her face. I'M SORRY, I JUST HAD TO MENTION HOW WRONG THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS. I'm done with that!

And I think I should be done with this entry as well, as it is getting quite long.

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PC is f'ed up
10/17/07 (wednesday)
I just realized for the first time in a while that PC can refer to the computer!
But nah, I'm talking about my school, Paramus Catholic.

Yesterday, my brother came to visit as Will's buddy/freshman for the day. During third period, there's a fire drill! Being freshmen and all, we weren't really sure if it was the fire bell or not so we hesitated for a second (why, the other day, we could hear what I think was Bob Marley blasting from the room near our science lab) but then Mr. Mulligan started ushering us out.
Now, this wouldn't be something we would worry about, except that our science lab is in the senior hallway (for some strange, unfair reason; all the other freshman labs are by each other) and therefore, we would have to line up by seniors who know what they are doing. We did not.
Mr. Mulligan lead us over to the edge of the parking lot, where the park began, and started taking attendance and such. He also added, "Guys, if we have to go any further, you know what you have to do, right? Go line up over on the field, freshman are by the bleachers, and go to your homerooms." So naturally we all started freaking out, "EVACUATION DRILL!" And it did end up to be an evacuation drill!

I'm pretty sure most of you have no idea what my school's campus looks like, so I'll just give a brief description.
The parking lot where we are is right here. Most freshman classes are gathering by the softball fields, which are about 400, 500 feet away. And the football field is pretty much the same distance away from the softball fields. Naturally, I was one of the last ones to arrive at my homeroom (my teacher's face was worried as hell).

I'm also pretty sure that none of you have ever stood on the football field/track at my school, so we'll just say that it has a sizable population of bees. That's fine and dandy (and distracting) at school-wide Masses and such, but when everyone's all antsy from having an evacuation, especially when nobody is sure if it's real or not, people start jumping around and screaming at the bees, even after countless attempts to make them shut up. (Though I must admit, I was yelling too, but that was only because I don't have classes with most of the homeroom and I want them to think I'm cool. Because I am, of course.)

Now, this being the football field of the biggest private high school in New Jersey, there's a loudspeaker system in place. Once in a while, the loudspeaker would be messed up and make a loud "BZZT" sound, giving at least one person in the crowd a heart attack each time. When it wasn't malfunctioning, the principal would be yelling, "EVERYBODY BE QUIET!" It worked, surprisingly enough. He would also yell out directions, though pretty much everybody could hear the directions beforehand. Giving that everyone was quiet, one could hear the president in the middle of the football field in his golf cart, barking directions to the principal up in the control room via walkie talkie.

A LOUD AIRPLANE JUST PASSED BY! I'm sorry for that, it just seemed strange.

So he went through the spiel of what to do during an evacuation, and then he ordered freshman homeroom 201 to get into the bus on the other side of the field, then later ordered sophomore homeroom 104 (don't ask me how I remember the numbers, but if you do happen to ask I'll say!) to get into the bus as well. And then the entire school watched as the bus drove away! No buses were coming up to pick up the rest of the school, and soon the principal ordered everybody else to get back into the school! Needless to say, that was a huge "WTF" moment right there.

The rest of the day was all right.

Fast forward to today! Don't fast forward too much, though. This starts in the morning! (I shouldn't have used that phrase in the first place.) Keep in mind, there's testing today! According to most people, it started (I'm not sure how to conjugate this verb right here.) at 8:15. I get on the bus at 6:30 and we usually get to school around 7:30, enough time to get to lockers and stuff before the warning bell rings at 7:45, then the late bell at 7:50!

I got up as normal, ate breakfast as normal, went to my bus stop as normal, and everything was fine and dandy until we were on the way to Passaic.
(If you're bored or something, look up these towns and note the distances between them; they're all in New Jersey. Paramus, where my high school is, Belleville, where I live, Bloomfield and Nutley, where my bus passes through, Cedar Grove, where we drop off a random kid because they don't provide a bus there so they tacked him onto our bus, and Passaic. Wikipedia has some good pictures, but they're also kinda small.)
Anyway, we got stuck in some serious traffic on the way. Bad traffic, like, total standstill traffic. We were on this major roadway (I'm not sure what route/parkway it was, my parents keep asking and I have no idea.) for maybe a half hour? Keep in mind, we still had to pick three or so kids up in Passaic. My friend Ericka called one of them and he said that he didn't have a ride anymore, so he had to stay at the stop.
They were redirecting traffic to a nearby exit, so all hope wasn't lost. We were keeping time the entire ride, though, apparently we were there for almost a half hour. That's a huge thing if you're running on a tight schedule, especially driving kids to school! We picked up the first kid and he looked mad but relieved at the same time; everyone was yelling at him, "HOW LONG WERE YOU WAITING?" and he yelled back "40 FUCKING MINUTES!" The other two Passaic kids weren't there, so we sped through that place and made the mad dash to Paramus before rush hour.

Besides the fact that we were stuck in traffic as the late bell rang, we weren't that late. The bus dropped us off at the front instead of the back, and we were greeted inside by pretty much half of the administration ushering us in, the principal in particular commanding, "Go straight to your homerooms!" in his Brooklyn accent. On the way up, we heard him over the loudspeakers, "Teachers, the Bloomfield bus has just arrived, if you could please let them in and not mark them late. Let them start the test immediately!"
And we did start the test immediately! I was still panting from running upstairs by the time I opened my test booklet. The other girl in my homeroom that takes the same bus must've taken her time though, and now I kinda think that I should've too. Oh well.

So we got out at 11:30 and a bunch of people were complaining, "I WAS ON THIS BUS LONGER THAN I WAS IN THE SCHOOL!" And our bus driver was agreeing! Our bus driver kicks ass though, he was badmouthing the administration the entire way back, saying "I'm not sure if I'm even supposed to be taking you guys home! I'm waiting for the call!" He was grinning at everyone as we left the bus in the morning too. Oh yeah, while we were stuck in traffic, somebody must've cut him off or not let him pass, because he opened the door and yelled out, "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT ME OFF, MOTHERFUCKER? I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!" and everyone on the bus started applauding him. We were all saying, "Wow, can't they see that we're a HIGH SCHOOL in PARAMUS in the middle of PASSAIC from the side of the bus? (Which, by the way, says Paramus Catholic High School on it, and our route is the only one that uses the special, personalized fleet because we're awesome!; everyone else uses Laidlaw or First Student buses or something) And it's already, what, 7:45 in the morning? Don't they realize we have to get to school and stuff?! Screw them!"

This entry turned out long as hell, haha.


Oh and edit/p.s., my friend was on the bus that left the school.
"Dan, what homeroom are you in?"
"201."
"Were you on the bus?" (smiling)
"Yeeeeaaaaah." (smiling)
(about to crack up) "What the hell happened?"
"Nothing! We just drove around the school and came back!"

And here's a map of the school area that I drew so I wouldn't have to work on my world history essay! They have real pictures of PC on the website but they're not really of the school's layout, so here's the best I could do without photoshop!
boooo

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High school!
9/25/07 (tuesday)
I haven't blogged about this yet, right?
[checks]
Yeah I haven't.

So I just started high school! My orientation day was three weeks ago as of tomorrow, but it seems so much longer.
I've met a bunch of new people but I haven't really made any "friends" yet. But to be fair, I don't consider people friends until I'm comfortable enough to give them a nickname. That's my standard. And usually, three weeks is too short for that kinda trust to be happening.

To fill up space, I'll tell you guys about my classes!
My English class isn't horrible, it's just a normal class. The teacher has amazing eyes though, it's distracting. I can't look him in the eyes, it's just weird.
My biology teacher this year was my old homeroom/science teacher last year, which is fantastic! Everyone else seems so intimidated by him, but my other old classmates and I take it in stride because we're already used to him. It sucks for my old school though, since he transfered, now they have the old synergistics teacher that I can't imagine actually teaching something.
Physical education (I really needed to type that out, I'm sorry) is actually pretty cool! For the last two periods, I've taken the nature walk around the park that surrounds the school campus (or is it still school property? I'm not even sure; the way my teacher explained it was strange). I'd use the weight room, but that is almost always filled with guys and I'd feel uncomfortable. Besides, I've actually grown to like walking in the forest over the past two periods.
My Christian growth teacher is... strange. Almost bipolar in a way. She can be really happy one minute, and if someone asks her a sarcastic question or makes her angry, she can go off on them in a snap, and then go back to her perky ways. She's a good teacher, but she tends to ramble on also.
Lunch just sucks because I have nobody to sit with most days. I'm finding some people to sit with now, though, so that should be good. I really need to meet people (see above).
Spanish II Honors is way too hard for me. Well, "way too hard" is an exaggeration, but it goes way further than whatever we covered last year. I don't think I want to switch though, for the sole reason that I kinda feel up to the challenge.
(School hasn't really been "tough" for me since seventh grade, and that was only because of the homework load. I knew all the material then, and I'm blindly flipping through my Spanish-English dictionary this year.)
Oh, and I don't want to learn the numbers and colors for the millionth time. Transferring out of honors would screw me over too, because my scholarship requires an all-honors curriculum. So either way, I guess I'm stuck with it. Oh, and the teacher's pretty cool but she can move through things pretty quickly (though that's probably the whole 'honors' thing kicking in).
(I wrote a lot just about Spanish class.)
World History is really cool, but at the same time it bores me to death. See, the teacher is amazing; he's in-your-face, focuses on class participation, and has the kind of booming voice that you could distinguish out of a crowd (does that make sense?) but the subjects that he covers are so dull that I nearly nod off taking notes. I don't know if I love or hate this class.
And geometry is awesome. The class is pretty much all sophomores (except for me and two other people; which is kinda like Spanish class, but I should've mentioned that earlier) and I feel so awesome because I understand it better than some of them. This one guy got all red-faced and stuttered when he couldn't understand an algebra problem that I got in, like, two seconds. And the teacher is pretty cool and funny too, even though he kinda plays favorites, but that's all right because he makes fun of them and puts everyone's attention on them, and I'm not into that kinda stuff.

[looks back]
Wow, I progressively got more detailed! I should add something to English. Yeah I've got nothing. That class is just whatever.

Oh yeah, so this is my first year taking the bus! We've already been late once, because we ran over a tree branch and it cracked a window, and I've been so close to being late! but my homeroom teacher didn't count it because I walked in a little after the bell. I also got lost going from biology to Christian growth, but I'm pretty sure everyone's gotten lost at least once, right?

Thinking about it now, my school isn't as big as I thought it would be.

I think I'll find something else to write later because nutang rocks and I've abandoned it.

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ramble
8/3/07 (friday)
I've been in Florida for the last full week of July. I got back on Monday, and now I'm just being lazy because New Jersey is so boring compared to Disney World. But then again, isn't everything?

"Magick" by Klaxons has the most annoying opening ever.

Brazilian guys are pretty hot. But so are Brazilian girls. There were a lot of Brazilian tour groups at Disney World. I saw some girls hitting on those guys, it was kinda sad in my opinion.

I was at the store today and this middle-aged Asian guy walks past me singing "Get it shawty, get it shawty, get it shawty," and I was about to crack up out loud.

I miss being able to take a shower at home. My house only has 1 1/2 bathrooms and the full bathroom's being remodeled so we have to take a shower at my cousins'. My dad's being pretty lazy with the remodeling though, about a month and he's still not done putting up the walls. I don't blame him though, it's hot as hell.

While we were at Disney World, there was this station playing solely old-school Disney cartoons. Now my brother and I are on a quest to look for "How to Play Football" on DVD because it was friggin' hilarious. That was the best channel ever.

Okay I'm done for now.

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taking notes
7/17/07 (tuesday)
for how to lose weight!
I'm reading this page and I thought that I may as well take down some stuff that's easy to do so I can remember them.

- counting calories is not for me (or maybe I'm just lazy)
- don't put dressing on salad
- water instead of soda
- mustard instead of mayo
- chicken and fish > pork and beef
- replace side dishes with fresh veggies or salad
- yogurt and fresh fruit make a good breakfast
- watch portion sizes - put portions of chips (or something) into a bowl and put the bag away so you don't eat more than you wanted to
- fruit makes a good snack
- eat small snacks throughout the day (cut down during actual meals)
- eat fiber
- EXERCISE
- take vitamins
- weight gain may be from building muscle if you're strength training
- fat is burned from all over the body, not just one area (i.e. doing crunches doesn't give you great abs unless you work out other areas of the body too to burn fat)
- homemade burgers can be less fatty than fast-food burgers (especially if fat slides off of the grill)
- stretch before working out
- have regular sleeping habits
- losing more than one or two pounds a week may be unhealthy

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i don't understand
7/7/07 (saturday)
Live Earth.

So it's a bunch of concerts to combat global warming?
How do all of the concertgoers get to the venues?
I know they encourage you to carpool, but it's not like there's any carpool lanes in New Jersey to make people want to do it. And even if you carpool, you're still releasing gases into the air.
I love how Al Gore said, "Repeat after me," when he was saying that pledge, but he said it quickly and didn't stop. The people must've been confused.
Oh well, they don't usually broadcast concerts on television, so I'm watching, even though I'm not interested in any of the performers (sans Paolo Nutini, Fall Out Boy, and Linkin Park and any of the other Japanese performers - though I doubt they'll broadcast Koda Kumi on American television)

Those "Answer the Call" cuts annoy me though. You know nobody is really going to do that stuff.

I'd get into how global warming is likely a natural thing, but I can't really defend myself because I'm not too educated about that crap. I forgot all of the stuff I learned writing my global warming report in January, but I remember Mr. Mulligan mentioning that - it's going to happen anyway.

At least Live 8 made more sense. They stole the name.

(It's so cool for me to think about the Giants Stadium one though - I passed by it today going to Lowe's and I was like, "Wow, Fall Out Boy is probably over there." Thinking about it now, it's more, "Zach Braff is within reasonable driving distance from me!" I'm such a fangirl.)

[edit] I wish I had posted this at 7:07, but alas, it was around 8. Once I found out it was already 8, I was like, crap, that's not gonna happen for another 100 years. Oh well.

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