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Sunday. 5.13.18 5:20 am
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Dating is scary.
Saturday. 4.28.18 6:07 am
I was talking to a friend today, about how fast people can fall for others. I am one of those people. But, when I fall very fast, I don't lose interest very fast. My last relationship, Chris basically moved in with me after like a month of dating. I move quick, and it doesn't scare me.

But, what does scare me, is that other people are different. Some people fall fast, and lose interest just as easily. I'm so afraid of being a victim of that. I am afraid to get hurt. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with the guy I'm dating right now. I feel he likes me, and he always involves me in his future plans. I like that so much, and it makes me happy. But, I'm afraid of empty promises and sweet talk. I'm afraid I'm falling for what he says, more than what he will do. And why? Because I really like him.

I hate the game. I hate the whole "I can't text him because then he'll think i'm needy". Or the whole, can't talk to him when you want to because he will lose interest. If he loses interest because I like to talk to him, is he the one for me? Probably not. But, do I like him so much that I play the game and don't try to seem to needy? Yes. UGH.

I know this is new, and I shouldn't think so much. Enjoy the moment. I want to. At the same time, I'm so afraid and I want to guard my heart. Can't I just skip like, where both of us can be ourselves? Where I feel completely comfortable being me without thinking I'll scare him away? I wonder if he is also worried, and is hiding a lot of himself too.

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