the index card
Location lubbock, TX
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Wednesday. 3.30.05 10:16 am
im flippin puffy!!! read my xanga... then you'll know what im meaning...
Thursday. 3.24.05 10:36 pm
Monday. 3.21.05 8:28 pm
IM GOING TO CAMP THIS YEAR! SCREW ORLANDO CAMP IS BETTER! JUSTINS ASKING ME OUT TOMOROW! IM PASSING ALL MY CLASSES! LIFE IS GRAND!!!!!!!!
x33 LOVE;;S HANNAH
Tuesday. 3.15.05 9:34 pm
Monday. 3.14.05 5:40 pm
Sunday. 3.13.05 8:32 am
I've been called desperate before, many tmes. It's never really been true tho; I've just blown it, saying, w/e think what you want... But this time, is Justin right?
I guess I better start at the begining, right? right. Well, a while back, i liked justin. just, oh, Idk, 2 weeks ago. He was the first one I told, and he was nice about it, but in a polite way he simply stated, sorry, I have a gf. I was cool w/it, me liking him, him liking Valentina, us just going along w/our usual lifes, all the whiile ignoring eachother. I guess after a while I just didn't like him that much anymore. I moved on to Dylan. I didn't really know him, and he isn't that cute (he isn't really cute at all), but he was sweet, and, hey, he didn't brutaly chop off his pigs head when we were dissecting in science. So I told him I liked him, he told me he liked me, and, sense Thursday night we've been going out. One of the only problems though was that most -no, all- of my guy friends, well, let's just say they strongly dislike him with a passion. It made me really mad, and kinda mopy, too.
So, today I went to this spring break party. Me and Mira were talking about Dylan, and I said I wondered if Justin hated Dylan, too. So I asked him, and he wanted to know why I wanted to know. Cuz she's going out w/him, Scott frowned. Scott duz not approve of my latest boyfriend. Justin's jaw dropped, and I could tell he didn't especially approve either. But he was sweet about it. He said that if I like Dylan then I like Dylan. No one can control that.
At about 11.00 last night he got online, and I started talking to him.
me: justin u rock thank u sosososo much for not being mean about it like all the other guys
him: np, but y dylan?
me: idk hes just nice i mean idk the answer to this ? cuz idk really y i like him
him: do u mind if i ask something kinda mean?
me: go ahead
him: k r u sure ur not a lil desperate? cuz i know u could do alot better
me: well obviously not cuz every guy ive liked sense scott has liked my best friend more, had a gf, or just hasnt had any interest in me
him: well u cant just go for the first guy out there. u gotta find the right one. to tell ya the truth, if i wasnt going out w/valentina i would go out w/u
me: now its my turn to ask u that ?. would u be just a lil desperate?
him: no i think ur very pretty
me: even if i do look like a crow?
him: u dont look like a crow!
annnnnnd my computer froze. Perfect timing, right? It pissed me off sooooo bad cuz I was saving Sarah's number, too.
Well, the point is, when I was writing this last night, I was crying sooo hard, becuz of everything going on. Dylan, Evan, Justin, just everything. Maybe I'm blowing things up. Maybe I'm just a drama queen. No I am just a drama queen. But see, I miss 6th grade so fuckin much! I miss Sarah and Jessie and Pierce and Reed and all four Taylors and the stupid 6th grade drama and, hell, I even miss stupid Bobby Caudle, who got held back twice! I just hate things so much right now! Those were the most silent tears I've ever cried before. I need to talk to Sarah or Nick. They always make me feel better. I can't believe I'm crying! I need help! =[
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