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The cake is a lie...

Age. 44
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. YAHTZEE!!
Location Wyoming, MI
School. Grand Valley State Univ
» More info.


August 2019

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Sunday. 3.9.08 12:55 pm
So, awhile ago I got it into my head to make an A to Z playlist.

For those who don't know, I'm a freak for making the perfect playlist. Sort of like Rob from High Fidelity, only I'm less a straight up asshole and more of a pouty douche bag, but I digress.

Anyway, I have this obsession with making playlists. I'm not quite sure how the A to Z list came about, but it did and I ran with it.

See, there's sort of a zen to making a really good playlist. I won't go too far into it, but I feel like you really have to be thoughtful on song placement. Which is why I came up with the A to Z list, because finding a song for each letter of the alphabet would be super difficult.

Here's the rules I set forth for myself.

1.) Pick a song for each letter of the Alphabet, first of all.

2.) All songs MUST be in English. The songs can be sung by non-English speaking (IE: Those that don't speak English as a native language) artists, but they have got to be in English. This makes it harder for you to pick songs for letters such as 'Q'.

3.) No artist can have consecutive songs. Example: I couldn't have Spiraling Shape as my 'S' song because I have Till My Head Falls Off for my 'T' song, because they both are by They Might Be Giants. This rule extends to cover versions as well.

4.) If an artist appears on your list more than once, there must be a one song lead between appearances, this also includes cover songs. Example: I picked Under Pressure David Bowie and Queen for my 'U' song. For my 'W' song, I picked We Are the Champions -- but I picked the cover version done by Johnathan Coulton. In between those two songs is Jamiroquai's Virtual Insanity.

The list is as follows:

  1. Across the Universe by the Beatles (Acoustic version from Anthology)
  2. Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants (Flood)
  3. Continental Drift by the Rolling Stones (Steel Wheels)
  4. Don't Fence Me In cover by David Byrne, written by Cole Porter (Red+Hot+Blue: A Tribute to Cole Porter)
  5. Everything Under the Sun by Common Rotation (Live track off Clear Channel)
  6. Free as a Bird by the Beatles (Anthology)
  7. Genius of Love by the Tom Tom Club (Tom Tom Club)
  8. Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought We Had a Deal by They Might Be Giants (Then, the Earlier Years)
  9. Ikea by Jonathan Coulton (Smoking Monkey)
  10. Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones (40 Licks)
  11. Kiss cover by Der Palast Orchestra mit Max Raabe (album unknown)
  12. Let it Be by the Beatles (Let it Be)
  13. Mesopotamia by the B52's (Time Capsule)
  14. No One Knows My Plan by They Might Be Giants (John Henry)
  15. Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads (Remain in Light)
  16. Pretty Pink Ribbon by CAKE (Comfort Eagle)
  17. Quiche Lorraine by the B52's (Time Capsule)
  18. Rock Your Socks by Tenacious D (Tenacious D)
  19. Say You'll Be There by the Spice Girls (Spice)
  20. Till My Head Falls Off by They Might Be Giants (Factory Showroom)
  21. Under Pressure by David Bowie & Queen (Classic Queen)
  22. Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai
  23. We Are the Champions acoustic cover by Johnathan Coulton (Thing a Week Four)
  24. XTC vs. Adam Ant by They Might Be Giants (Factory Showroom)
  25. Your Rain sung by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, composed by Akira Yamaoka (Silent Hill 4 Soundtrack)
  26. Z Y X by They Might Be Giants (Here Come the ABCs)
  27. 1234 by Fiest (The Reminder)
I added the "bonus" track at the bottom for awesomeness. There was also somewhat of a fracas between my sister, husband and I regarding "Your Rain". They objected to the song on account that it was written and composed by someone who didn't speak English natively. I pointed out the same could be said of Max Raabe, who is German. The song he and his orchestra performed WAS written by a native English speaker. Max Raabe, being German, speaks German, but sings the song in English. Therefore it is allowed. And though Yamaoka doesn't speak English as a first language, he did write the song in English and it was performed by an artist who speaks English natively, therefore it counts. So there.

Anyway, if you're as big a nerd as I am, feel free to do this.

You know, I almost think this requires some kind of freaky CD exchange. If anyone wants this list, I'll happily find a way to send it to you. It's just that awesome. And you can send your own back.

If you want...

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I Want Ice Cream and Other Pointless Complaints
Friday. 2.1.08 8:50 pm
I am so freaking bored. Bored and listening to Madonna.

Hey! My dad has a Wikipedia entry... sort of. Check it -- Postbeat Poets

That's my dad standing next to Alan Ginsberg!

I guess no one really cares about poetry anymore, which is a sadness. There's a gentle simplicity in poetry (even the fiery kind) that I think culture nowadays is sorely lacking. (Like I should talk! I'm a terrible poet. Irony. Because my dad IS a poet and a thumping goodin' too -- but I might not be the best, most impartial judge.) But to those who know poetry -- fuck yeah.

I once had a guy who I worked with who actually knew who Ginsberg was. I was floored. Because, for those who don't know, Allen Ginsberg was not only an influential poet who changed the face of his art, he was also an integral figure in the peace movement in the sixties. No that anyone knows this.

Leave it to me to know someone semi-famous.

Anyway. This guy I worked with knew about Ginsberg and was appropriately impressed. Then he asked the question -- what was he like? It's funny, for me he wasn't some sort of mythical guru poet. He was just Allen. He was an odd man. He shopped at Goodwill and Salvation Army. He had a weird, gravelly voice. When he hadn't seen you in awhile, his first question was: "How's your sex life?"

He asked me this once when I was sixteen. I looked at him balefully and answered: "Well, I'm sixteen. Sooooo.... pretty bad."

Anyway, I suppose this kind of thing happens to anyone who has known or knows someone famous or semi-famous or whatever. But it's weird when it happens to you. Like, just because someone was culturally important that doesn't mean they all of a sudden become some sort of untouchable god. Which is why I find it odd and kind of funny when people freak out when faced with a celebrity.

Like, I was watching the Tyra show today. Jessica Alba was on and she surprised some fans -- and they sort of freaked out a little.

Or like when we saw TMBG in Detroit once -- before the show, they were eating in the same restaurant as us and my sister nearly had a coronary. She kept glancing over at them, whispering to me if she ought to go up and say something. She wanted me to go with, but I refused. They're human beings, man. And they just wanted to eat before the show. Let 'em be. Let 'em relax. But she kept going on and on about it. Finally, I told her she should either just do it or not, because spazing out wasn't helping much. In the end, she just kept spazing and never talked to them. It's not like they would have bitten her head off and pissed in the stump or anything.

*sigh* Humans are strange creatures sometimes.

Incidentally, I just found out someone I knew from High School is now the size of a bus. This isn't something new, really. Fat happens. But she was kind of a bitch to me. And I can't help the fact that it brings a wide, secret smile to my face.

There's a tin of herring on my parent's computer desk... it's not open, but it's there. The herrings on the package are staring at me. Stop it.


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Haiku for Tama
Tuesday. 1.15.08 7:52 pm
Tiny cat licks butt
Bites my leg, little bastard
Good thing he is cute

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Noacat's big list of news footage she'd never like to see again...
Friday. 1.4.08 11:51 pm
1. Anything from 9/11. Seriously... enough already. Let it rest.

2. John Kennedy getting shot. Do we really need to see his head implode from every angle? DO WE? The answer is a resounding: FUCK NO. He was one of the most influential leaders in 20th century American history. I would like to remember his living legacy, you know... the stuff he actually did as president, rather than the way he died. In fact, I'll broaden this by saying that we shouldn't be showing footage of ANYONE getting shot (Bobby Kennedy, Dr. King, Benazir Bhutto, for example). I really don't see the need to watch someone die in real life. There's an indignity in the way they show it... I just feel like watching it and showing it again and again somehow cheapens the life of that person. It doesn't add to anything, it's just macabre.

3. The Space Shuttle Challenger exploding. See, I remember when this happened. I was, like, ten. We had all been forced to keep up with this particular flight due to the fact that high school teacher Crista McAuliffe would be aboard the shuttle -- to teach classes from space. I don't particularly like watching it explode over and over and over again, because it reminds me of that day. I was in school. We'll just say it was pretty awful. And they kept showing it explode. Again and again and again and again. I was reminded of the news media's nearly orgasmic repetition of this footage during 9/11 -- which was ten times worse than watching the Challenger explode, and played far more often. Please stop.

4. Watching bloodied, terrified students flee from Columbine High School/Virgina Tech/any other school where this kind of thing has happened. Once is enough folks.

There might be more, but these are the four that come to mind. It's like every time a news show drags out the footage for any of these incidents, I feel a bit slimy watching it.

Another point I'd like to make: Britney Spears losing custody of her children. Not news by any stretch of the imagination. CNN should NOT be covering this, Entertainment Tonight should. The Enquirer should. NOT NBC, NOT CBS, NOT ABC, NOT FOX NEW-- wait, yeah, that sounds like something that actually belongs on Fox "News". The cult of celebrity has gone too far and I'm tired of it. I don't go to CNN.com to read about Britney Spears drunk ass. I go there to read about what's happening in the world. That is to say, the important things that happen that will affect us all, E.G.: Global warming, the US presidential election, what's going on in Kenya and the like. Actual important world events. I couldn't give two craps about Britney or Lindsey or Hannah fucking Montana and whatever fucking soccer mom that lied to get tickets -- which by the way is just sad. Really, I'm more disappointed she actually allows her daughter to watch that shit than her lying to get tickets to it (of course, that, in and of itself, is pretty damn sad).

Okay, diatribe over. I'm going to go to bed now... I've stayed up waaaaaaay too late, still being ill and all.

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Tuesday. 1.1.08 1:19 pm
watching: It snowing outside.
listening to: Rock Your Socks -- Tenacious D
mood: Ill

1) Where did you begin 2007?

My bed... or maybe I was watching a movie. I'm not sure. That was a year ago and my cat is distracting me.
2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?

Happily married... with a distracting cat, who apparently is desperate for attention.

3) Were you in school anytime this year?

No, but I took some classes for work.

4) How did you earn your money?

I get my money from my Hos... sometimes I have to beat my Hos, because they don't give me all their money.

It's tough out there for a pimp...

But I kid. I work at a bank.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?

No. But there were a few days in November when it was considered. I'm better now.

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?

I called the police on our neighbors. They were having "domestic problems".

7) Where did you go on holiday?

Yeah. We went up north in early spring. It was awesome.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?

Nothing. I am poor.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?


10) Did you know anybody who passed away?

Yes, sadly.

12) Did you move anywhere?


14) What concerts/shows did you go to?

TMBG IN NOVEMBER! Before I got a serious case of bronchitis.

Thanks, Cathy.

15) Are you registered to vote?

Hells yeah!

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?

Okay, I'm not out to offend anyone, so if you watch and enjoy Big Brother (though I hope if you're on my list -- you don't), then I'm sorry for the next few sentences.

Who the fuck cares? No, really. The only people who DO care are sad suburban hoosewives and their husbands, who watch reality television in lieu of an actual sex life. Reality television is a waste of my time, and it makes those who watch it just a little bit stupider each year.

Stop. Watching. It.

17) Where do you live now?

Earth. Where do YOU live, survey?

18) Describe your birthday.

January 4th. It's this Friday. You still have a couple of days to come up with presents, but you're cutting it close, and I'm not forgiving when it comes to missing my birthday.

There'll be brimstone and hellfire.

I kid you not.

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?

I refuse to answer this question as it is stupid. But if a gun were held to my head, I think my answer would be something like this: I wore a nice dress to a fancy restaurant and ate food that was artfully prepared, yet small in proportion, and surprisingly, it wasn't all that bad.

Except for the peanut butter mousse thing with bacon on top of it. That was fucked up.

20) What has been your favourite moment?

My time with my hubbie during our early spring holiday. That  was hella fun.
21) What's something you learned about yourself?

I believe I can fly. I am also the wind beneath your wings. So don't piss me off.

22) Any new additions to your family?

The screaming skull that hangs over my bed at night. He won't shut up.

I kind of hate him...

23) What was your best month?


24) What music will you remember 2007 by?

TMBG, for they are the music I remember every year by now. Also, John Coulton -- who fucking rocks. Souad Massi. Max Raabe. Not to mention the super upbeat theme from Henry V, "Non Nobis Domine". (That's sarcasm btw.)

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?

My right hand... oh, you mean by drinking buddy of the alcohol drinking type? Uh, that'd be no one. Because I don't drink.

26) Made new friends?

Of the imaginary kind.

Karl is the best... he lives in my ear and wears heavy Irish cable-knit sweaters.

27) Best new friend?

Weren't you listening when I answered #26? YOU WEREN'T, WERE YOU!!??? YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!  *runs off sobbing*

28) Favourite night out?

That'd be the night we saw TMBG right in my own home town. The show was awesome and I had the best time.

29) Something you look forward to before 2008?

Taking a bath...

30) Where will you start 2008?

Well, I guess we'll all just have to wait until 2008 happens for you to find THAT out. (Most likely I'll be passed out on our couch. I've spent the last hour online, and my poor, abused body is now screaming in pain. I hate being sick...)

I lied about the Quiche Lorraine. Sorry.

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Anti-drug ad or advertisement for drug use, you decide!
Sunday. 12.30.07 9:17 pm
Okay. So, I saw this anti-drug ad recently -- and frankly, I think they've lost the message... you decide...

All I have to say is -- that is some GOOD shit she's smoking. For serious.

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