11 years... RIP
Saturday. 7.1.06 4:46 am
Well as of today its been 11 years since my father passed away. It sucked ass today at work. I'm actually glad that I was at work and not at home because I could at least try and keep my mind occupied. It didn't work too well. I was able to talk to Joey about it so after that I felt a little better, but not much. I'm not mad at Joey anymore; it was pointless to stay mad at him. Anywho, when Gary came in I found out that Erin was super pissed at me for not staying last night to help even though I was there at 9:30 that morning and I had to be there at 9:30 this morning and I was only working on like 4 hours of sleep! And she was pissed at me cuz to her I didn't do any work even though she wasn't even fucking there when I was there working. So tonight when she came in she refused to talk to me and what was really stupid and childish on her part was that whenever she wanted to know something from me she would have someone else ask me. Little kids to that. Like they'll see the person standing right behind them but they'll still say to someone else 'will you ask so-and-so this?' Its so fucking dumb. Whatever. So I went through an emotional rollar coaster today. I started out really depressed and upset. Then I became just ok. Then I felt a little better. Then I got pissed and frustrated. Then I was just okay again. After work me, Allie, Nick and Trevor went to the swap meat and wandered around for a while. I got a new belly ring! Its cool-looking. Now all I need to do is get another tongue ring. I can actually change it now. So Joey told Dana that I like him today. I don't care that he told him though. I think he already knew. I just know that he's not interested in me. And there will probably never be an interest cuz of a bunch of things. First the age difference. Second, the distance between us. Now, he lives in the same damn town (its not like Chris) but neither of us has a car. And mode of transportation is one of the key things in a relationship. There are a bunch of other things too, but I don't really know what they are. Me and David haven't really talked since that night. Not since I stopped liking him. Oh well. It would have been nice to talk to him today about the shit on my mind, but it didn't happen. I talked to Joey instead. Damn, I suddenly just got really tired. I mean I've only been up for like 19 hours and I worked most of those hours. I'm glad I have off tomorrow. I don't want to see work. I have to go to the store though. I was gonna go tonight after work and I planned on it, but then we went out and that screwed with the plans to go to the store. Alright I'm done for tonight cuz I have no clue what else to write.
Thursday. 6.29.06 10:27 pm
Next week's schedule has been corrected so its back to normal. I'm off two days and I'm opening two days. The rest of the days are normal. Man today was definately weird cuz I'm not used to working Thursday. It was busy for the first part of the morning and then it got slow, but we still had business. Joey decided to make his goal today to distract me. And at first it didn't work. After a couple hours of pushing and pushing I gave in. And then it kept bugging me. So I spent half the day distracted. Its not raining right now, but there has been lightning and thunder going on. It is raining in other parts of town just not where I'm at. I got paid today, but since I didn't want to get caught halfway home in the rain, I got a ride so I never got to the store. I'm gonna go tomorrow after I get off work. So basically tonight I'm gonna go hungry. Oh well. Its not like I haven't before. Anywho Joey was supposed to go do something over at the new store and I wanted to go with him cuz I wanted to see the new store. I haven't been over there yet which is why I wanted to go. But because of the weather he decided not to go. He didn't want the shit he was supposed to be loading in his truck to get wet. Maybe another time I'll be able to get to go over to the new store. I have to open tomorrow so I'm gonna be going to bed at a reasonable time tonight. I have nothing else to say for now so I'll write later.
FUCK I hate my boss!! I swear he lives to piss me off!! 2 people quit tonight so I went up there to help them out with closing. I wasn't going to be there all fucking night and I was told that I would get rides both ways. It was easy to get a ride there, but when I was done helping I asked for a ride to go home and no one wanted to do it. The weather is shitty outside, its 10:30 at night and all I want is a simple ride across the fucking street. I asked Erin and she didn't want to leave the store again until it was to go home even though she's the one who told me that she would give me a ride home too. So I ask Joey (the boss) if he could bring me him home when he left with Gary. But since he 'had shit in the back of his truck and he already told Gary he'd give him a ride home there was no room for me' In that big ass fucking truck I doubt very much if there wasn't any room. I have to be there in the morning and all I wanted was a simple fucking ride home so that I could relax and get to bed. I can't fucking believe the people I work with. Raven finally took Erin's car keys and brought me home. I appreciated it a lot even though I probably didn't show it that much. So I'm going to bed kinda pissed and the fact that I have to work with that son of a bitch, dick, fuck tomorrow I'm not sure how happy I'm going to be. I'm just glad that I have Saturday off and that my schedule is back to normal. Whatever. I'm done for tonight.
Wednesday. 6.28.06 11:02 pm
Well I had the day off, again. I'm not liking this arrangment. My schedule better be fixed next week or I'm not gonna be happy. I didn't get up until like quarter after one so I definately slept in. About half an hour later I went up to work because I had to do something. I hung out up there for a while, had something to eat and then came home before the night crew got there. I have to open tomorrow. I also have to clean out the fryers tomorrow (ugh). Oh someone came by earlier. Someone that I haven't seen in a while. He told me to call him sometime and I never got around to it. Oh well; he came by cuz he was in this part of town and when he went up to work he didn't recognize anyone there so he came by here. He hung out for a while. We talked about what's been going on over the last few months and then he had to leave cuz he had to be somewhere by 9. He told me to call him and that he might bring me by his house which he just recently moved in to. I know why he wants me to call him, but I'm trying to figure out a way to tell him no I don't want to have sex with him. I'm pretty sure I'll figure something out. Anywho I watched America's Got Talent tonight. Some of the acts were better than last week and some were much worse, but there were some really talented people on there this time. There's one more episode where they are auditioning and then the people who moved on complete against one another in the semi finals. So I'm looking forward to that episode. There are definately people who deserve the one million dollar prize, but since only one person gets to win it I have no clue who its gonna be. I'll just have to wait until the very end and just hope that someone who is useless doesn't win it. Someone who can take their talent far should be winning the prize. Alright I'm not sure what else to say so I'll write later.
Wednesday. 6.28.06 1:08 am
Today I actually worked, I had to be there by 10. We had 2 huge orders to do first thing this morning; one was close to $400 and the other just over $100. Then we had the prep shit to do. So today was long. Not bad, just long. Tonight was Eastside's night to bowl so we went and it was nowhere near as fun as last night. We weren't teamed up with anyone cuz the other people didn't show up. I mean the team we were supposed to be playing against didn't show up. The other people from our store where there but they were like 4 lanes away from us. So we were by ourselves. Our three games were finished within like an hour and a half. Hopefully next week will be better. Anywho I have no food in my house. I have $9 till Thursday. I mean I can always go in to work and get food there, but there's only so much I can tolerate eating there. I'm hungry and I want food, but its too late now to go out anywhere and since I don't have a car I can't go to a drive-thru. Whatever. So I starve. Until tomorrow at least. I better have a normal work week next week. If not I'm gonna be pissed. Alright I have no clue what else to say so I'll write more later.
bowling part deux
Tuesday. 6.27.06 2:51 am
YES!! We went bowling tonight because Northside was actually able to bowl tonight. I had a lot of fun. I still suck at bowling; I was better this time though. I got a couple strikes. Then on like the 3rd game I started to bowl really well and somehow the game got reset so the scores were gone. I wasn't mad though. Brandon, Dana, Joanna, and a few other people that I didn't know of from Northside were there. All I care about was that Dana was there. I actually got to see him. That's all that mattered to me. My mind was distracted all night too. I wanted so badly to say something or do something. But I don't think he'd be even remotely interested in me. Maybe I dunno. He's like 11 years older than me, which is quite a difference, but age doesn't really matter as long as we're both legal right? LoL. Anywho I wanted so badly to hook up with him. I almost kinda want someone to say something to him about me crushing on him just to see what his reaction is, but then again I don't because I don't want it to be a bad reaction. So the only people I told I know that I can trust to keep it to themselves. I almost said something about when me and Joey had our thing, but I decided against it. And I'm glad I did, cuz they see Joey on a regular basis and what we did is a little more in depth than just a simple 'I wanna hook up with you' type of thing. I know that nothing is gonna happen between me and Dana. Something did happen between me and Joey. I mean its nothing big or bad, but the fact that I'm still working there and that we still work together it would be awkward. Anywho, I still want to hook up with Dana even if it is only once. I think it would be sorta fun, but then again I don't know how he does things. He might be into the weird shit that I find to be too much. He might find the things that I'm into not good enough for him too. Oh well. I can hope right? Dana is online, but I don't know where he is online or what his e-mail is or anything; and I'm even sorta afraid to ask for that just in case he's all weirded out by it and is like 'why do you want my e-mail?' Anywho I hope that I see him again soon. And hey ya never know with these things right? Okay I have to go to work in 9 hours so I'm gonna try and get a decent night sleep. I'll write more later.
yet another day off
Monday. 6.26.06 5:37 pm
I hate my neighbor. I live in a fucking apt so the walls are obviously shared. My frickin neighbor finds it okay to play their music up so goddamn loud that its rattling my fuckin windows!! I HATE that. I'm at least curtious and don't turn it up that loud. I mean if you want to play your music that damn loud MOVE INTO A FUCKING HOUSE!! Where you don't have to worry about the 3 people who share the same walls (and floor) as you. I've already said something and what did they do? Turn it down long enough for me to get back into my apt. Then it went right back up. At least they're somewhat nice enought to not have it up that loud at night when everone is sleeping. Anywho now that I've gotten that out, I'm off again today. This is weird, not going to work on a Monday. I'm thinkin about going up there and getting some food. Its like 20 till 4 so the evening 'rush' will be coming soon. I dunno. I kinda don't wanna go anywhere. Tomorrow is Tuesday which means we go bowling tomorrow. Tonight Northside is supposedly going to go bowling cuz 'they can't do Tuesdays since thats their busy day and no one is available to go' Whatever. They're just scared. Of what I'm not really sure cuz we're not that good, but oh well. LoL. I just wanna see Dana. I don't even really care about bowling cuz I suck at it. I haven't seen Dana since he stopped working at the Eastside. He's apparently only allowed to word at the Northside. Vinnie Jr. won't let him come down here anymore to work. He's needed too much up there. Oh well I'm pretty sure I'll see him eventually. So Brandon finally got online and replied to my message. I'm glad he's doin good. I didn't know he was a country boy though. But hey whatever works for him. I'm so bored right now. Not as bored as I was last night though cuz I could always get dressed and go out for a while. Unlike at 2 in the morning when I can't really go anywhere. Even if I had a car I couldn't really go out anywhere at 2 in the morning. This isn't exactly a 24 hour town. Oh well. I'm not really sure what else to write so I'll get on later and write.
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