I can't sleep
Sunday. 7.23.06 3:46 am
I don't know what made me think about it, but something caused my mind to drift to my stepdad. I can't believe that its already been almost a year since he passed away. I know that I was nowhere near as close to him as I was my dad and as I am my mom now, but its still really affecting me. I only cried a couple times after he passed and this is the first time since last year I think. I'm not really even thinking about how its affecting me. I know that I'll be fine. I'm worried about my mom more than anything. I have no idea how its going to affect her. Especially with how hard the anniversary of my dad's death affected her this year. I want my mom to be happy and with these things so close together and with her not doing as well as normal, I wish I could do something. I don't want my mom to be hurt or upset. It upsets me even thinking about it. Like right now. I wish I had someone who I could talk to, but I don't know who. I mean I know that I can talk to my mom, but I don't want her to get upset because I am. I don't want her to think that I'm getting upset like this because I'm worried about her. I know that she worries about me cuz I'm her kid and that's part of being a mother. Man, the tears are making this hard to type. I worry because I care. I just wish that there was something that I could do that could make the hurt go away. I want to make it better. For me, for her, for all of us. Why did my mind suddenly drift to him? It just came out of nowhere. I was having a perfectly boring day and I was gonna lay down and get some sleep for tomorrow. Then this popped into my head. Nothing happened today to trigger it. Nothing. Alright I'm gonna try and get some sleep and not think about it. Maybe tomorrow I'll say something, but I'm not sure. I'll see how it goes.
Friday. 7.21.06 11:53 pm
Today was a somewhat normal Friday. It was a little slow, but otherwise normal. I was working with Tiffany, Joey, and Jose. I liked the fact that Tiffany was working with me cuz I was able to get the prep done. Joey thought he'd try and distract me again, but it didn't work this time. I didn't let him get to me. I know that he was hard just talking about it, but oh well. That's his problem. I was thinking about someone else. Which is the reason why I'm writing this entry. Richard came in again today. He was only there for maybe a minute, but he was still there and I got to see him. I was up talking to Pat and Fred, I heard the back door open and assuming it was Joey coming back with ice I didn't think much of it. Then I heard the swinging doors open behind me and I turned around to see Richard standing there. I became instantly happy. He was supposed to come yesterday to get the piece of equipment that he had left here, but when I asked him about it he told me that he was too busy to stop by yesterday. I'm so glad that I was there today. Seeing him made my day. I couldn't stop smiling for like an hour after he left. Tiffany asked if I had told him that I thought he was cute and I didn't. Gary asked if I got his number. Which I didn't do that either. So Tiffany made me swear on my life that the next time I see Richard I'd tell him that I think he's cute. But I don't think I'm ever gonna see him again so I won't have to worry about it too much. But then again I thought once he was done fixing the alarm security system, I wasn't gonna see him again, but I was wrong. So ya never know. Alright nothing else too exciting or interesting happened so I'll write more whenever something does come up.
I'm happy : )
Wednesday. 7.19.06 8:45 pm
Today was a slow day business-wise, but I had a good day. First off, when I got to work, I asked Erin if the alarm guys had finished yesterday or if they were coming back today? When she said that they finished yesterday I got kinda bummed out cuz I knew that if they were finished that the cute guy (Richard) wasn't gonna be coming back. So I got over it real quick. About an hour later me and Erin were talking about how one of the sensors had been just taped to the wall rather than like mounted or bolted or something. About how lazy the alarm guys were. Right at the end of the last sentence about them, Richard walks in the door. Erin and I both say "speak of the Devil" I was no longer bummed out and I had a nice big grin on my face. So he and the other alarm guy, Roger, were there putting in a few more sensors and cameras so that our surveillance systems were better and updated. After they were done they stayed and ordered some food. So I had a plan. I was gonna pretend that I had to go to the bathroom and then on my way back stop and ask them how the food was and end up in conversation with them. Well when I finally finished what I was doing I really did have to use the bathroom so it wasn't a complete scam. So after I used the facilities, I did what I said. They both enjoyed the food. Roger is actually funny. I brought Vinnie Sr. into the conversation and Roger began immitating Vinnie Sr. for Richard cuz Richard had never met him. He said that yesterday was the first day that he was ever there. After that small 10 minute conversation was over, they got up to leave and while waiting for Roger to finish whatever he was doing, I had a real quick chat with Richard. His eyes are to die for! He has the most georgous eyes. That's one of the first things I look for in a guy and he definately has the best eyes. He's only 26 too. He's only 6 years older than me which is good cuz I liked David and he's almost 28. So 26 is good. Alright I'm not quite done with what I'm gonna say but my show is on so I'll write later.
Okay, my show is over. Richard left a pieve of equipment up at the store so he has to come back tomorrow to pick it up. Only problem, I'm off tomorrow, so I won't be able to see him. I want to be able to see the cute guy. LoL. Oh well, I doubt very much if anything would have happened. I mean a guy who's that good-looking can't be single. And if he is its most likely because he's either gay or there's something deeper than just looks. (although that's not always the case. he might just be single) Anywho, I hope that I see him again. I kinda want him to see me outside of work and not in uniform. But hey. Alright I'm not sure what else to say so I'll write later on.
Bowling part .. uhm another night of bowling
Wednesday. 7.19.06 1:50 am
Well if you've read my last enrty I just want to let you know that today did go much better. We were still adjusting and there were three guys there working on putting in a new security system and updating the technology so that we can hopefully prevent this from happening again. The one guy (his name is Richard) was really cute. And I kept trying to go into whatever part of the restaurant he was in. LoL, no I really wasn't cuz I had to work, but I wanted to. Anywho, since today is Tuesday it was bowling night. I did shitty tonight. My goal was to get at least 100, but the highest I got was an 87. I know, pathetic. LoL. Oh well, I had fun and that's what counts. Even Lance wasn't doing too well. The cute guy who worked behind the food counter was there again tonight. I found out that his name is Jonathan. The other guy's name is David, but he's not the cute one. Jonathan is the cute one. So me and Allie kept going up to order like drinks and food and stuff so that we could keep going up to look at him. I don't like that he smokes, but that's okay cuz he's probably too old for me, and probably has a girlfriend. So he's just cute. OH!!! He's even cuter cuz he's got his tongue pierced!!! I think that a guy with his tongue pierced is so effing hot!! In a way that's sorta what got me to have mine pierced, but that's only a very small part in the reasons why I got mine done. Anywho, he's so cute. I have to work tomorrow, but that's okay cuz I have Thursday off. Alright I'm done for tonight. I think you got the idea just how hot these two guys are. I'll write more later on.
I don't even know how to describe today
Monday. 7.17.06 8:49 pm
Well first of all I had to open today. But I woke up late so I was in a rush to get to work so that I could turn the ovens on. So as I'm walking up I see that the side gate was left open. Now, it wasn't all the way open but it was ajar. I think for a split second that we had been robbed again. But then I think, naa Gary must have just forgot to lock the gate. So I think nothing of it until I get around to the back door. When I get up to the back door, I see that the padlock was missing. At that point I don't want to go into the store. So I got nextdoor to PostNet and get Keith. Keith comes out, opens the door, puts one foot in, sees that the alarm keypad had been ripped off the wall and that there were wires on the floor. He told me to call Joey so I did. Neither of us went in after that. Joey call the cops and the cops called me and within five minutes later the cops were there. And for half an hour they were in and out doing things checking that the coast was clear, checking for fingerprints. We had to explain that Keith had touched the doorknob, but nothing else. So I ended up not getting into the store to turn the ovens on until 10:00. Joey showed up shortly after that. I took him through the store and showed him the damage that had been done. The wires were cut, two of our cameras were gone and the office was completely a mess. One of the two computers in the office was missing and the other one was completely torn apart. And because that was the main terminal, none of the other computers worked. Since none of our computers were up and working, we couldn't open. So our computer guy came and started working on our systems to get them up an running as soon as possible so that we could open. Well, we finally got some luck. When Joey was cleaning up the wires in the office, he found the connector piece that held our mainframe system info. It had apparently fallen out when the burglar(s), were tearing up the computers in the office. So all we had to do was plug it into another computer and we had our computer systems back online (except the one in the office). Our phones were still not working, but we were able to open the doors to walk-in orders only. Although because the credit card machine is hooked up to the phone line, we couldn't take credit cards. So we really didn't have much business. When I was leaving work they were almost ready to get the phones up and working. So today was just fucking peachy. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better. Ya know I'm actually kinda glad that it was me opening rather than Erin, because Erin would have freaked the fuck out. She would have gone into the store and freaked out even more when she say the mess that they had made. So I guess it was better that it was me instead of her. Alright I have no clue what else to say to I'll write again later.
Saturday. 7.15.06 5:24 pm
I'm used to being bored on Saturday cuz its my day off. But today I'm unusually bored. I mean I really don't know why. Earlier I went with Allie and her mom to the car wash so that we could bathe her two dogs. I don't think we were supposed to do that, but we did anyway. After that I came back home and I've been on here since. I haven't been to Blockbuster since I returned the movies. And I really don't want to walk up there. Its too hot and I'm too lazy. Anywho this guy Matt that I knew in like Freshman year found me on myspace. I had forgotten about him. Cuz after I moved out of Vegas the first time I just completely forgot him. I still thought about Scott, but thats cuz we had something. Even though I hated him (and I had no idea why after a while) I still thought about him. So its been a while since I've heard from, seen or thought about him. I decided to accept his request as a friend, but I don't really have anything to say to him. I used him when I did know him. Now I know that sounds wrong, and it was but I was only like 15 and I didn't think much of it. I used him to get someone to hate me and instead it backfired cuz theguy I was trying to get to leave me alone just used Matt as well to get to see me. So ... but hey shit happens right? And it was so long ago anyway it doesn't even matter now. Scott is my friend now and he's the one who helped me get out of Las Vegas so I'm thankful for that. I kinda want to find certain people, but I know that not everyone has a myspace. Alright I'm out of stuff to say so I'll write again when ever I have something to say.
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