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Welcome to the Merrick

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous.
Actually, who are you not to be?

my loves
Li Rong
Michelle michelle
ET Laine
my ordinary life
Wednesday. 8.11.04 7:51 am
headed to orchard today fer lunch with Audrey, joan, T and ben, janna. 3 rich pple and 3 poor pple hanging out together for the 3h break.

stupid Chris cheong, always delay and den extend the lesson. bth. feeling kindof crabby, probably the lack of sleep and stress is getting to mi. think my face abit black when we were deciding what to eat whilst heading towards the library. my apologies to everyone, esp Joan whom i know was trying not to antagonise mi. heez. i juz dun like having to go/hearing:"whats fer lunch" used in conjuction with "dunno" too many times. its like, decide and be done with it lahz!

btw, this is one of those crap entries. so TERENCE, AUDREY YOU CAN STOP READING NOW. lolz. overheard them grumbling that i put up alot of crap/articles/quotes here. so, STOP READING.

ok..after getting rid of xian cha ren deng, lets see wat else happened. o.. ben my brother) bought a 150 bucks addidas shoes fer Huizhen (his gf). that man really splurge siaz, as long its for gf. she wants can le. btw she wasn't even there. everytime complain no money den spend this kind of money w/o batting an eyelid. what can i say? he's rich..lolz. came back on merz cabs. i think weds are developing into really expansive affairs. 2nd consecutive week we came back on cabs. the first week being T wanting to see some hp in town.

lost money at the trading pit today. so depressed. so annoyed. so pissed off. so demoralised. so arrrgghhh! totally killed my appetitite. first time make loss siaz... had actually pulled even, and equalised my previous losses. and den make 1 stupid mistake and BOOM! die. overall still gain but thats becasue of the bonus and transactions. not a real profit. and becoz of stupid chris cheong delaying my life, i was horrendously late in addition to feeling so depressed. so annoyed. so pissed off. so demoralised. so arrrgghhh! for the yrbk thingy. thankfully, koban and wynn and yinghan were there. if not.. geez.. i dun wanna imagine.
Chris cheong was right. trading in the pit is a battle of smarts, not hardwork. apparently, ben has 1000+ profit, while the rest of our clique, mi included, is pretty much languishing. lolz.

aiyaz.. forgot what i wanted to write le. shall shut up here. kenna distracted by sg idols. at least the 2nd episode has a lot more can make it pple. (read, no strippers, no lemon tree) lolz. staying tuned.

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Tuesday. 8.10.04 8:15 am
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

"I had also developed my own culture. Work. I did 4 or 5 media jobs in media jobs in England, juggling them like a clown. I spent 8 hrs a day on the computer, feeding my stories back to the States. Then i did TV pieces, travelling with a crew throughout parts of London. I also phoned in radio reports every morning and afternoon. This was not an abnorml load. Over the years, I had taken labor as my companion and had moved everything else to the side."

"Some people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing wrong things"
~Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

day in day out. I'm forever bz. so much so some of my frens have resorted to 1 month pre-booking, 2 weeks advance notice at the minimum. Wat have i achieved running all over the place? have the things i gained enriched mi in any way? in a non-monatary sense.
what i've done was to lose contact with my old friends along the way. I'm sorry that has happened, but i'm not gonna say i regret it. There's no greater BS as regrets and 'if only's. what i should do now, of coz is to keep in touch with the pple currently on my radar. Its not so easy tho, since i got soooooo many friends whu are dying to meet up with mi. lolz! i'm kidding.
I know what i should do. the big question is if i'm doing anything abt it. its so easy to whine and say i'm busy. but den that brings us back to sq one, doesn't it?

Consciously or sub consciously i'm the one creating the work load. work can nv end. and i'm happily heaping it on mi-self. how?

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