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if you stick around, i'll sing you pretty sounds.


smudge clothing company.
sometimes randy and sporadicfunk and i draw pictures and we put the pictures on shirts and you have to buy them.

here is a direct link to our store on zazzle.

shirts for sale.

also, you can find us on facebook.

become a fan.
guide to success with my weblog.
step one: read everything to the right of this module.
step two: click every number at the bottom of the screen.
step three: go back to step one.

repeat infinity times.
this is my personal assistant.
i managed to break this little nutang helper from his contract with nutang, and now he works for me. his name is jump-for-joya. he manages this site. all complaints and other inquiries should be directed to him.


jump-for-joya


he thanks you for your cooperation.
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incentive.
Wednesday. 5.19.10 8:56 am
i'm trying to figure out what incentive i have to put in an extra amount of effort around here (at work). what is it for? to get in good with the higher-ups? what good is that if they aren't going to promote me? no matter if i do a good job, or i put myself completely into my job and do an AWESOME job, the result will be the same. the same shitty annual raise. the respect to my face with no acknowledgment behind my back. what's it all for?

i was recently asked if i wanted to go on a trip up to warren, pennsylvania to be part of our celebration as being rated the #1 bank in the mid-atlantic region by j.d. powers and associates. at first, i was excited that i was even offered. then i was told that i was only being asked because ALL of the tellers were asked, and none of them wanted to go. wow, what an honor, being the 5th or 6th person asked to go.

at first i just said yes, because i figured i should appease my boss. i later retracted. i "have a birthday dinner with my father."

the truth is, i wish i got more respect around here. i have to run from desk to desk helping others, constantly, and the gratitude i get is minimal. and you would think that they would learn something from all the god damn teaching i do. but alas, fuck no. next day i'll be back at their desk again, helping them.

one of the other CSRs, i understand, as she is newer to the game. but a CSR that has been doing this for thirty years or so should have some slight clue as to what they are doing. give me a break. you had thirty years to learn how to open a business account.

i'm tired of working here. i hope things shape up, as my options are slim. if it were up to me i'd just quit, but with moving out into a new place, i have to keep a steady job, otherwise i'll be out on the street.

i guess i'll continue working my ass off for little reward.

Comment! (6) | Recommend!

change.
Friday. 5.14.10 12:49 pm
i was going to change my layout, but then i just changed the header picture and the colors instead. maybe i'll remove my face from the background and replace it with another picture or something.

Comment! (7) | Recommend!

things.
Thursday. 5.13.10 10:45 am
so sporadicFunk and i have decided on a couch to buy.

so that's one thing to mark off our checklist.

remaining things we need:

- bed (frame and mattress)
- dining table and chairs

the rest is pretty trivial, i think. mostly because we can get used things from other people. there are things we want to buy, but we will probably have to wait a little bit before we can get everything we really want.

we really want to decorate some parts of the home with paintings from cuddy rigor mortis. if you don't know what that is, you can find out, here.

...google it.

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conversations.
Monday. 5.10.10 9:58 am
these are conversations that i have had with customers. the lines in italics are what i wish i could say to them, but would probably get fired for.

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"yes, i would like you to check the balance on my account."
"okay, sure, do you have the account number?"
"oh? um hold on..."
"oh, you don't have your account number?"
"no, i don't have it."
"well why the fuck are you calling your bank asking for your balance then?"

-----

"hi, what can i do for you?"
"yeah, i have a problem with my account."
"okay, what is the problem?"
"there are some charges on here and i don't know where they are from. and you charged me overdraft fees."
"okay, let me take a look... okay, umm these charges are from a company called 'extenze'."
(if you don't know what extenze is, google it.)
"oh, well, okay. i still want my fees back. you shouldn't charge me $31 every time i overdraw my account."
"well, did you authorize these charges?"
"yes, i did. but if you don't give me these fees back i'm going to close my account."
"geeze, sir. with having such small genitalia you have awfully big balls to say such a thing."

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"what bank is this?"
"[bank]"
"did this used to be [old name of bank]?"
"yes, it did."
"well what happened to [old name of bank]?"
"we changed six years ago."
"well i don't like [bank], i liked [old name of bank] better."
"fuck you."

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"hi how are you?"
"...fine. yourself?"
"good i need to speak to [boss]."
"i'm sorry, he's on the phone, did you want his voicemail?"
"no, i really need to speak to [boss]."
"...okay, well, he's on the phone right now. do you want to hold?"
"uhhhh..."
"well, what the fuck else do you want to do? should i scream his name until he hangs up the phone and answers your call? would you like me to come pick you up, bring you here so you can personally talk to him? should i go into his office, and simply hang up the phone for him? i realize that you think you are the most important client that our bank has, but i really don't give a shit if you are the company's president."

Comment! (9) | Recommend!

moving.
Saturday. 5.8.10 12:57 pm
This is the first entry I've ever done from my phone. It automatically capitalizes words for me. Cool, I guess.

So, in approximately one month, sporadicfunk and I will be moving into our new apartment! Yep we got approved for one today.

Yessssssssssssssss.

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

torn.
Thursday. 5.6.10 1:23 pm
i'm torn.

i was going to replicate the music video "dirty little secret" by the all-american rejects. it was easy enough, and i could still make it my own without totally changing the concept of the video.

but now i have the opportunity to come up with an entire music video. that means i can pick any song, infringe some copyrights, and have an interesting video.

what should i do? shit.

i watched um. what was it called. bar...t. flinc... hold on.

*google'd*

sorry, it was simon birch. it's the story of this kid who was born too small, and his adventures with his buddy at catholic school, and such. he thinks he is god's instrument, and a hero. he also like boobs. three pluses, if you ask me.

it was a good movie. it was also very sad. and hilarious. jim carrey narrates. i'd suggest checking it out.

Comment! (7) | Recommend!


when you buy my things it makes me happy.
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