"The body and the soul: both threats...
Friday. 8.19.11 3:42 pm
...for they are one."
Well it looks like today is my last day of bein' home for a while. Maybe a long while. Or maybe...just a while.
A new friend sent this to me quite out of the blue. I'm so proud of her.
This has been a surprisingly good last week, considering how shoddy the summer had been going. Firstly, the Girl went off to school a few days ago, so I haven't had to see them together at movie nights or hear about all the stupid fun they're having together anymore. Secondly, I FINALLY got to go out on the lake with friends, which I have been pining for all summer. Thirdly, I got to see several people I had seen rarely or not at all, which is always just a really good thing. Last, I am just really super duper happy to be going back to school and see my friends and have hard friggin' classes to complain about again, and stuff.
Speaking of That Girl heading off to school: I am miffed. We weren't exactly on happy-go-lucky buddy terms with each other, but we'd seen each other around a lot lately, and we were pretty close at the beginning of summer, and, you know, I really expected to be able to have some sort of send-off before she left. At least for her to say, "Hey I'm leaving in a few days so this is the last time I'll see you for a year." A surly goodbye is surely better than nothing. But, nope. I was unaware of her moving plans until I heard them second-hand (guess from whom?) and when I texted her to ask when she was leaving she replied, "tomorrow, haha."
She continued to act innocently surprised that I would ask, and straight-up asked me why I couldn't sleep (my response to her asking what I was doing up at 3:15 in the morning).
"Because night-time is the best time to consider how totally this summer has sucked."
Then she asked what was so bad about it.
I told her to have a good year and goodnight, and that was that. I haven't heard from her since, except when she untagged herself from one of my facebook pictures. It's the best I can hope for.
Seriously, though, since then things have been pretty peachy.
Now I have to find a tie and finish packing. Wish me luck!
Sour Grapes FTW
Wednesday. 8.10.11 4:08 pm
This is maybe one of the coolest programs I've ever seen! It lets you see all the recorded stars and constellations, centered at any location on any of dozens of planets and moons in our solar system! Right now I have it set to my home city, and running in real time, but I could set it in Paris instead and have it running through a virtual hour every second! And it has all this lore and technical info about the stars and constellations. You can turn off the ground and atmostphere overlays and just show a view as if from space. It's so neat! -geekout-
I remembered last night that last semester at Tech, I was waiting at the Chic Fil A for my milkshake one day. The girl in front of me just turned around and began talking to me! It was sort of strange at first but I talk to random people all the time anyway, and she seemed nice enough, so I just went with it. We were discussing really mundane things, like why the shakes were taking so long and the state of school-run fast food chains, when she asked what flavor I'd gotten. I answered cookies n' cream, and asked what flavor she had gotten. Strawberry. Eventually she got her shake, and since I was still waiting she stuck around for a minute or so. At one point before she left she told me that she particularly enjoyed mixing strawberry with cookies n' cream. Then we parted ways and I headed back to the library with my and my friend's food.
It wasn't until I was back in my seat in front of my books that I realized what had just happened.
Thursday. 7.28.11 9:23 pm
Yes, I'm still irritated by this whole ordeal. Seeing their cutesy pictures together on facebook is actually making me slightly sick. I'll never listen to It Makes Me Ill the same way again.
Bad joke. >.>
Honestly, though, besides the sense of betrayal, guilt, self-depreciation, rage, anxiety, restlessness, loneliness, frustration, self-doubt, etc. (all in varying degrees; mostly mild) this hasn't been such a bad situation to be in. I certainly won't be taking companionship for granted anytime soon. My appreciation for restless wanderings at night have also increased, and I have started a chain of events that will hopefully lead to the revival of my bicycle and some sweet night-riding. A few nights ago, I was tossing-and-turning, and I was even, gasp, inspired with a bit of words. Far too trite to consider writing down (and I was far too sleepy), but still. That never happens!
You know I've never ridden my bike outside of my neighborhood? I'm nearly twenty years old. That's ridiculous! The first thing I'll do is ride down to my old elementary school. I've already gone there by foot, so it follows that I should continue my expeditions. Who knows what my come next?
Today's my dad's birthday. Rather, it would be.
A few nights ago I was lamenting the fact that my childhood bathrobe is so small on me when my mom went and dug out my father's old robe for me. It fits pretty well, although I think the sleeves are a bit short. And knowing my dad, it WOULD be a white robe with vertical cherry-red stripes. Hahahaha it looks so dumb...but it sort of looks good.
So anyway, I'm sitting in my room, sprawled around on the bed, wearing this goofy robe, sulking about girls, probably recording Glitch Mob, and suddenly it struck me that it was Just One Of Those Nights. It really is a cursed shame that I'm not a movie or TV show or something. Heh.
I suppose it's a good thing that I have a perverse sense of humor. Things are better when they're funny. Still, it surprised me how much I laughed when it occurred to me that He and She are not likely to get along very well. Sort of a cruel pleasure.
...of course, I thought the same thing about the last Him and the last girl...it just strikes me that they have very different sets of values. Very different. She and I are pretty different too, I guess, but at least our priorities line up. So it will be interesting to see how completely I am proven wrong in the months to come. teehee
Well I think that's all the moping I'll do here tonight. I ate a big dinner with Mum but I still feel sort of sick in the tummy. Stupid pictures. -.-
Drink The Sea
Thursday. 7.21.11 9:23 pm
Over the past few days my demeanor and understanding of both the outside forces and my own part in the situation have both changed a good deal. I've gone from being angry at the friend to being upset with the girl. I will not get into details because it's complicated and I'm trying to eat my dinner here. Haha.
Yesterday, I was having a discussion with the friend concerning her behavior. He sides with her, saying she had every right to act as she did. I disagreed, and I found his excuses and reasons to be more and more infuriating. At one point we just broke it off.
I couldn't sleep.
After tossing and turning, watching my breathing, trying to clear my mind, searching my room for a lost puzzle, and various other tactics to distract myself, I finally jumped out of bed around 3, stalked downstairs, filled a mug with milk, microwaved it, and took it outside. It wasn't until I tried to admire the moon that I realized that I didn't have my glasses, or until I sat on the cold metal chair that I realized that I'd come outside naked. I'm far too comfortable without clothes on.
Point is, I haven't had to warm up milk in YEARS. It was kind of nice. I sat around for a while before I thought of what havoc the mosquitoes were wreaking on my exposed flesh and went back in. Then I grabbed my laptop and watched Team America until I fell asleep.
I'm happy to say that I feel almost no inclination to finish the "film". The same goes for the last movie that I fell asleep to: Talladega Nights. Ugh.
One thing that I realized really bothers me: When people say "It was meant to happen." They say that and just use it as a catch-all for ugly situations they don't want to think about. That is not a reason or excuse for anything! It isn't that I disagree with the statement itself. It just seems awfully redundant. Obviously "it" was meant to happen, or it wouldn't have! I told him, "Yes, it was meant to happen. And my angry and hurt response was also meant to happen." Gosh, I just want to punt people sometimes.
Something I realized moments ago as I was writing this was that, in food, the interplay between temperatures is as pleasing as that between taste or texture. It's sort of neat to have cold noodles at the bottom of the bowl, so you can mix them with the hot stuff on top. Unless they're all cold. Bleh.
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